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You are absolutely right, Aussiebear, he put our relationship in the backseat and made his job the #1 priority. Yes, will be able to retire in our 30's, and that is outstanding, but come on... He admits that work is his #1 priority...he even uses it as an excuse when I try to talk to him about how I miss the intimacy we used to have. I hate to say this guys, but I am sex-starved, intimacy-starved...and just need his loving ways back...

Whenever I try to do something special during the weekend he says he's either not feeling well, has to work, or just kind of eats dinner off the kitchen island while standing up... Something about it doesn't quite work. Lingerie doesn't seem to do anything either anymore. I'm out of ideas...How about you guys??



You know what? Forget him.

I know this sounds harsh, but if you've made an honest attempt in this relationship, and he isn't responding, don't waste your life on him. If you do marry him, there is a high probability that you'll end up cheating on him if this situation happens again. (You are starved for love and affection. Not surprisingly, its the common cause as to why many marriages fail. The rate is 50% in USA, and 33% here in Australia. Regardless of numbers, its quite high...The only people who benefit are the divorce lawyers).

You're a 2nd priority to him, and that's wrong. Personal relationships should be above career, not the other way. Otherwise, you'll end up lonely and unfulfilled. Success isn't measured by money or materialistic things as depicted by celebrities. Its defined by a number of things in your life that leaves you completely fulfilled. The right balance of relationships, career, money, etc for YOU. Haven't you noticed how some celebrities are in rehab, while others are into "new age" things like meditation, yoga, etc? (The couples that last, are the ones that have finally found the balance in their lives.)

The best thing you can do for yourself is to let go of him, and seek your own path in life. Go and find your passions/hobbies, maybe you'll become successful at it and start your own business! Spoil yourself, do something completely new. Try a new look, etc.

Heck, you'd probably find someone who actually appreciates you for who you are. The longer you stay, the more painful things will get. Save yourself and your lingerie for someone who wants it. The best revenge, is to become successful yourself.

Regardless, don't be afraid to risk losing someone if they don't make you happy. If you leave them, they'll eventually come to realise what they've lost. It up to you if you want to take them back. If you do, just make it clear that they can't treat you like they're doing now. (The point is to show them that you aren't a push-over, and a loving relationship is important to you).

I know all this from experience. I was in a similar situation as you with a "career woman". (I'm in my late 20s now). But I'm lucky to learn this while I'm still relatively young. I'm going with my career first, then once that's settled, find someone special.

Life is too short. We only have one shot at it. So make it a damn good one.


On a side note, you shouldn't use paraliminals as a replacement on knowledge about relationships. It should be considered as a supplement. There is no substitute for good books from authors like Steve Chandler, etc. Go to your local library and read up on it. (Use Photoreading! That's what its for!)