Like you, I find knowing language via dictionaries very important. However, you NEED confidence in the process. Like doing something once; 'only PhotoRead any single book once and maybe twice at most'.
Either your supra-Mind holographically PhotoRead each page the first pass through or it did not. Settle this point and concentrate on the 'proof of use'.
Like maybe enter a 'spelling bee' or the like 'without anyone knowing why you think you can spell'.
Get into the 'trenches' with having to use the information someone might need who has the dictionary near memorized.
Write stories spontaneously, whole stories, then use the spell checker etc. Close your eyes and spell those words from your heart or inner knowing.
Ones inner voice of knowing is not pushy, but quite demur, unassuming, non-pretentious...
'A small still voice with constitution of a spider-web.
Honor this voice and all things consciously desired add unto you.'
