Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Have a bad addiction that I'm trying to squash.

Hello,

I have this addiction that I want to destroy so that it doesn't exhibit anymore control over my life. Its been around for about 15 years or so, or more specifically since I was in the 3rd grade, and interfers with my success. I'm not to sure that I should mention it because it is embarrassing for me although it is very common for many within our society to be addicted to it. Sorry. This has even become detrimental to my relationship with my wife and affects her emotionally as well. This, I suspect, will shed enough light on what I'm refering to. I am also confident that there are those out there that will not agree with my views on this being an addiction.

I have been trying to squash it with New Behavior Generator and Belief, but it is still present. Am I just not getting to the root of the problem? I want to be free from this and have control over my own life. I do understand that I have allowed this to happen and, in a sense, give it power and control over my life. More importantly and crucial to my success is how do I resolve this issue so that I can move on in life? Any suggestions would be wonderful and most helpful.

Again, I apologize for being vague in this area, but I fear what others, even those who read this and don't know me, will think.

I thank you all in advance,

Marty

When using the tape New Behavior Generator, try listening to side A more often as this side deals with secondary gain and similar issues.

Later I'll look through my books to see which ones have these techniques in them so I can tell you where to find directions. On working with addictions, compulsions, and habits, some people have a simple program that is easily changed with one technique and others may have a complex program that can require much more work. It is good to start with a technique that brings integration or cooperation between the parts of your mind, such as the Visual Squash, Core Transformation, and the 6-Step Reframe (a version of the 6-Step Reframe is on side A of NBG.) Sometimes this will be enough and other times following this up with a more direction oriented technique such as the Swish Pattern, NBG, and Change Personal History will be useful.

Going beyond specific techniques, you can set a sliding anchor for the behavior where you can turn it up to the point where it is irresistable and turn it down to the point where you have no desire to do it at all. Then you can go back on your timeline to say, 30 minutes before the initial event and turn the desire down to zero, and go through the event again with the desire being at zero and notice how you now do things differently. Then follow your timeline to the present, bringing your desired outcome to similar events and other times the behavior has manifested and go through them again with your new resources and notice how different things are now that you have changed. Now go into the future and bring your new changes out as far as you can see, to all events that would have at one time triggered the old behavior and notice how different things are now. Come back to the present and thank your unconscious for helping you in this.

Dosetsu,

Thank you for your prompt reply. It is very helpful. If I understand correctly, what I need to do is some serious visualizations where I change the way that I respond to this situation in the past and then carry that forward into the future. I can see the benefit of this. I hadn't thought of this and was only relying on the tapes. It is similar to what is found in the book "Natural Brilliance" by Paul Scheele then. I suppose then that I should PR it and apply the lessons learned from you and the book. Novel concept, eh?

Thanks and I'll let you know how it the battle goes.

Consider also what you would rather be doing instead of the addiction. One way of breaking a habit is replacing it with something more positive... 3 deep breaths, making and releasing a fist or something like that. It offers a progression tool while you're moving away from the addiction.

Alex

Hi there!

My understanding of addictions is that it's a shield from unpleasant feelings. Smokers light up when anxiety/other feeling is jumping at them. In the case of addiction I think it is important to look at the source of the unpleasant feelings and not as much blaming the shield for beeing useful. Perhaps the underlying feelings will go away easily if the shield is destroyed. Perhaps not.

If you release (instead of destroy) the primary issue the shield will not be needed. Use "Belief" on the primary which you will know what it is every time the shield is up.

We all use shields of different sorts. Some just happen to be so useful that we don't resolve the real conflict. Running around with a shield up all the time is tiresome. You seem tired and angry with it.

I've had a light version of the presumably same addiction. I don't need the defence as much anymore. Now I can see that I rather need to tend to my feelings than flee. Selfesteem supercharger and Anxiety Free has changed me so much. There's no need to run anymore.

Cya!

Tore

Addictive behaviors are tough. I would check into the book "Reframing," by Bandler and Grinder, for some general strategies.

Kaiden,

I found the book that your refering to at the Univerity library. Thanks for the recommendation.

Tore,

That's it exactly. Instead of working through the feeling, I give into it and then wonder why later. Talk about frustrating. I think your recommendation on using Belief to work on the primary issue, my initial feelings that I haven't addressed, will help considerably. I hadn't thought of attacking the issue in quite this way before. For me I had just been attacking the problem, the addiction. I think also that New History Generator would help me release the negative aspects of my past so that I can move forward in the future. Got to remember that I am in control of my future, not my past.

Thanks

markan52, I'm glad you like Tore's response since that is in essence what I would have said. You should spend time examining when and what motivates you to the behaviour. It may take sometime before you get to the true issues. That is not to say that using the answers you discouver on the way are not useful. They are true for your current stage of behaviour change and awareness.

I'll suggest that when you are next tempted by the addiction, you seriously ask yourself (search within yourself) what it is your really want. For what would you be willing to trade this addictive behaviour. What would dispell the desire for the addiction.

It is important that when you are trying to create a new reality that the reality be consistent with your beliefs, wants, and values.

Sometimes the search is long, and the cure immediate.

There are other strategies out there and all have there merits.

Good luck in finding happiness, and know you are perfection.

Iam2

The best methods I have ever experienced for letting go of addictions are"

The 12 Steps (AA type programs)

The Sedona Method - The book is now out in paperback.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - See http://www.emofree.com

Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
See: http://www.sgi.org/english/Buddhism/nmrk.htm

I also recommend reading Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins. He was the co-author of Orthomolecular Psychiatry with Dr. Linus Pauling and has been an expert in the field of addiction for over 30 years.

See: http://www.veritaspub.com

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Robert

[This message has been edited by rhammond2k (edited October 16, 2003).]