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Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 474 Likes: 1 |
Dear Marianne, Peace to you. See below for response: HI again everybody, I guess I`m starting to enoy you by now?? 
You are not annoying me!  I doubt you are annoying anyone. You could keep one of the other threads you started open by posting these new messages (since all of your messages are the same topic, there is no need to start a new topic each time. You can just reply to the topic you already started. SO maybe just keep replying to this one for now) if you want. It keeps the topics more compact. But whatever works for you. Anyway, no worries here! Well here is the story this time: I haven`t been able to practice the last few days due to this intolerable anxiety.
Just a quick question: When you say not "able to practice", do you mean, you would not be able to do even 5 minutes total of any SFQ practice, whether meditation or active? If the answer is "yes, that is what I mean", how about 2 minutes? Same answer? If also yes, how about 1 minute? Or 30 seconds?
Remember, sometimes the "best" is the enemy of the "good". Many times, we feel thgat if we can't do the whole thing, than there is no point in doing it at all. Or if our mind is not focusing, than nothing is happening.
This is not true. Even a few seconds or minutes with the mind distracted will still help.
I will explain a bit more below. Keep reading:
Now the problem is that I`m starting to relate my anxiety to the practice......  I know this is plain stupid, but that`s whats this anxiety is doing to me.
No disrespect meant, but it is NOT stupid at all. You may well be correct! 
But here's the good news: what I mean by this, is that as channels are open and blockages move, sometimes things "seem" worse because the energy is in a new place as it is moving around and out. So, it is very possible, that you are right when you associate the feelings of anxiety now with the SFQ practice.
Remember, it is all energy. And anxiety is somewhat more obviously energy, than say a tumor (though both are indeed forms of energy). You cannot create or destroy energy. But you can change its form (like electricity into light or sound, or atoms into nuclear energy).
By doing the SFQ, you are indeed changing its energy. And like when we put a pressure cooker on the heat, the heat energy changes the water in the pot to steam. Anxiety, regardless of the root cause is a bit like steam. And as you unblock whatever the blockage is (which could have been there, literally for years and years--even since birth), the "steam" can escape, whistle, cause more heat or burning or whatever the feeling feels like in your mind and emotions. But the good news is it means IT IS WORKING!
And here is further good news: resistance (as the Borg say in Star Trek) is futile! But that is what this could well be: resistance. I have it. I see it in many people who work with such energy healing. The "old" self, the parts that are "used to" or "comfortable with" or "secure with" the problem, the way the energy was holding, DOES NOT WANT TO LET IT GO! Part of us knows we are changing and other parts of self are not comfortable with such change. We know the old way.
This does not make rational sense, but the mind is not pure reason or rational. So on one hand, we don't want to suffer or be in pain anymore. But on the other hand, part of us does not want to let this go.
So, that is part of what I think you may be going through. And you are creating a kind of feedback loop: "I will practice again, when I get better". Of course, you realize that you have set up this logic loop and it may take time to break through.
Now this is not bad. There is no "bad" here. There is only "good, better, best". What you are doing by taking this break is good.
It would be even better to instead of not practicing at all, do as much as you can: 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute 30 seconds. Because you see, you are opening channels, energy channels in your body, mind and spirit. And you don't want those channels to close again. So even the few minutes for now, will help to at least keep open the work you have already done. You can still follow your plan to just do this kind of "maintenance" amount of SFQ for now until you feel a bit stronger and then do some more. It will also help with the medicine: both helping it be more effective as well as smoothing out side effects and eliminating toxins from the body as you take it.
The SFQ is indeed working. It does not instantly make the problem go away, no more than water makes a mountain go away the first time it touches the rock. But as it continues to pour down the rock, it wears it away. With the energy in our body, it is even faster, though it does not seem fast enough when we are suffering.
I encourage you to know that the things you are saying is very strong evidence that it IS indeed working! And though you may feel impatient (and join the club!  We all go through that in the midst of healing), it can be helpful to affirm that "wow, I think the SFQ is making the anxiety a little stronger! That means it is working and this is a healing effect!" I started on medication some two weeks ago, but it is not working yet. Hopefully it will kick in soon so that I can start practising again and getting off the pills again.
See there's your dilemna and paradox again: "The medicine is not working, and I will not be able to do the exercise until it does. And I can't do the exercise, because I have too much anxiety."
But how long are you willing to wait? And I daresay, that unlike the medicine the SFQ IS working and though you could call the relating the anxiety to the SFQ a side effect, I prefer to call it a good sign. I invite you to do the same. In other words, the SFQ is working now! So reverse what you are saying to this : I will continue to do a few minutes (or seconds) of SFQ every day until the medicine works! And then I will do even more, because the SFQ is helpingmy body be more efficient."
This has really turned in to a intolerable situation, even though I know it will pass eventually....
Well, yes. EVERYTHING passes eventually. However, you have some choices to make as to how it passes, when, in what way etc. I would certainly have nothing to offer in terms of taking medicine or not--that is up to you and your health care professional.
I do offer though that to turn over all of our control to Western medicine, especially when it comes to our mental health, can be a signal and sign to our body that we just don't have time for it (the body). Conversely, every second or minute you spend doing the SFQ, even if it does not "feel" like it is helping or "feels" like it is making it worse or causing it, is telling your body how much you care and love it. That signal healing counts for a lot and can even help the body utilize the medicine more efficiently sometimes. And the further good news: you have already given your body this message!  Hold onto that investment and add to it by doing a few seconds to a few minutes of SFQ while you are on your "waiting break".
I strongly encourage you to do one minute of SFQ (maybe just 5-10 reps of "BReathing of the Universe" and/or "Forming of Yin and Yang" with the little energy ball) as soon as you read this: BEFORE YOU REPLY! Better to do the exercise than reply. Or do one cycle around the body of SMall Universe. Show your body and those newly opening channels that you treasure and value this progress you have already made.
Also, another helpful tip that is in Level I: You can keep repeating the "password" as a mantra to yourself all throughout the exercise or meditation. Or ANYTIME YOU WANT OR NEED TO! It alone, all by itself can be SFQ, especially if your mind/body/spirit has already associated the password with the qigong. SO, even if you can't or won't even do a few seconds of movements or meditation, you can still at least, say the password to yourself. Say it as many times as you need. Say it with every breath you take (apologies to Sting! ;). I often use this technique, especially during a breathing exercise like Breathing of the Universe and say each phrase with each in or out breath e.g. breathe in "I am in the Universe" breathe out "The Universe is in my body" breathe in "The Universe and I are combined together" etc. The great thing about this little meditation is since it is a three phrase password or mantra, it will shift on each repetition whether it begins on a in our our breath. Very powerful all by itself!
I also bought the SPQ paralininals, they arrived today :)hopefully they can help me star my practice again.
More good news: these Paraliminals are, in their own way Spring Forest Qigong! They are excellent variations on Self-Concentration, along with the added bonus of the Paraliminal and Holosync technology. SO just by taking the time to listen to those, you are keeping the channels open. I think the Faith & Confidence, part 1 will help you a lot. But so will Consistant Practice. Sorry to burden you all with this.
Marianne, you do not need to apologize. A) if it was a burden, any of us could just skip it! And many people are not feeling burdened, because they are probably not reading it! B) Those of us who are reading and responding care and it helps us too. and C) Let go of the "burden" aspect of this entire thing. Think of it as a teacher or teaching. Think of it as part of the "curriculum" that your soul has set up for you. If you can at least pretend that it not a burden for you (though I know it often feels that way), you feel better about sharing it with us and with others.
Love to all of you
Marianne 
blessings,
Steve
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