Hi Isabelle,

I'm not trying to chase you around the forum boards, but I think I may be able to shed a bit of light on your stuck state.

You said,

"I am normally quite independant woman and I need to understand everything by myself before asking for help (it's not because of proudness, it,s because of the way I grew up, I was left alone to take care of myself, it's just this)."

Such a traumatic and deeply damaging situation can cause many deep-seated problems, many of which you may not even be aware.

I would guess that inside you are roiling resentment, fear, abandonment issues, insecurity, and belligerence; even if they never come to the surface, they are likely still to be there inside you.

Perhaps your lack of success with losing weight comes from a subconscious fear of not knowing whether you'll be able to eat again.

I have struggled with many of these emotions, for reasons similar to yours, though mine occurred to me when I was an adult (barely).

I have successfully used the New History Generator, the New Behavior Generator, and the New Options Generator to identify and work through these strong emotions that were holding me back.

You have much to be proud of in your character, Isabelle. You are seeking to improve yourself, and really working hard at it, too. You deserve to succeed, and your hard work will bring you your desires.

If you have any of the three Generators, I would suggest beginning with them. The New History Generator, if you have it, would be the one to start with, and the one that will bring you the greatest success. Be sure to follow the instructions Paul gives at the beginning of the CD.

Anxiety-Free will help you work through any negative emotions you may have about your previous lacks and their impacts on your life today.

You could also try Deep Relaxation, to give your body and mind a chance to unwind and renew. This might allow your subconscious to reveal to you the emotions holding it in bondage.

I do hope that you find a way to use the paraliminals to change your life to your satisfaction.

Best wishes,

~Grey

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.