Ok, buddy, take some time, a few hours at least, and answer these questions.
What do you want? (X or I don't know)
If you did know, what would the answer be?
What will you do when you have enough X?
what will X give you? (Y)
How many other ways can you achieve Y?
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
What would you want if it didn't matter if you didn't get it?
What would you want if getting it wasn't important?
Are you willing to go to any length to get X?
If you could magically produce X, what would you see?
Is there anything you might lose as a result of getting X?
Is there anything you might lose as a result of getting Y?
Where when and with whom do you want X?
How will you know when you got it?
What would you want if it was ok to fail?
If there was a miracle while you were sleeping, and all your problems dissapeared, how would you know when you woke up?
Keep in mind these questions will take time and several iterations to figure out what you really want. Stick with it. The answer might not magically pop up over night, but a few minutes work a day on on this, and you'll make progress.
