I was at a retreat a few years back and it was going around that one of the participants had gotten exactly what he had asked for -- and some found it amusing.
It went like this. He did a sweat lodge and asked for purification, to have the old go out and make way for the new. HOWEVER, he forgot to be specific ... and he not only got sick to his stomach a bit later, but had - how do I say this politely - the runs for the rest of the week. Yep, he got purified all right!
SO - I'm thinking that you forgot the safety measusres, and like was said above, be sure to tell yourself that you are safe and secure, and that nothing bad will happen to you. (or nothing more will). And it could very well be that you reacting to old violence stimili. Like you said, all the garbage we've been fed all our lives.
Good luck to you. Remember we're all here for each other, so check back in, okay?
Oh - I've had an unusual "awakening" this past week with paraliminals -- I think that's what I've tracked it down to. A very good wake-up call, but not at all what I thought I had been asking for. Sometimes "something" knows what's best for us. 
*A* fellow traveler
