Greetings phone!!
What I read is your determination and desire. While the material is of a more demanding nature and you are around 18 years of age?
Here is some of my advice.
Desire it like air when under water too long. Work many, many more hours, weeks and months. Your Self will 'respond' to demand. You may need build by habitual use improved faculties to accomplish your goals.
Especially, to master both English and Math. I would find some material on logic to enforce better thinking discipline. You must think into the material 'after the fact'. Identify and focus on underlying principles, one a day.
And this is not just a mental journey, you need to emotionally integrate your progress, so no matter the effort it takes time, cycle upon cycle.
