Hi,
I've posted on this topic earlier. Thank You for all your support back then - it really did help and encourage me to continue.
Basically, last year a number of factors in my life caused me to become very depressed. I'd had mild depression for a few years before that, but finally it came to a head. I hated myself. I would come home from school each day and beat myself up over every little thing that had happened. I stopped eating properly and I even started cutting my arms. However, using paraliminal tapes and a little bit of NLP, I managed to get out of the cycle. My self esteem improved. I changed a speech impediment that had haunted me all of my life. I no longer felt pain everyday. I could even feel happy sometimes, something I hadn't felt for so long.
Then I went to university this September. All started Ok, obviously there were issues but I seemed to have settled in alright. it's just things aren't as good as I would like them to be. I'm still paranoid and scared of rejection, although not as badly. This then affects my relationships with people. Either I start talking incredibly quickly and saying things I think afterwards were pointless and stupid. Or I'm too scared to say anything and seem moody and boring. I just act weird the whole time, like I don't know how to relate to people in the normal way. It seems like I used to be lively, funny, and interesting to be with. And now I don't have the strength to be like that anymore. Thing is, I know I had faults then too, like being annoying and saying things that weren't funny sometimes. I'd like to go back to being natural like I was then, without all of the faults I should've learnt from. It's getting me depressed. I don't want to repeat my mistakes from the past forever. All I want is to be a likeable, kind person, who doesn't always act weird and anxious or do annoying things. Does anyone have any advice? How can I use the tapes to get over this final hurdle? I would be so greatfeul for any help.
[This message has been edited by DAVIDAR (edited January 27, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by DAVIDAR (edited January 27, 2004).]