Thank you for all the suggestions. I think I definitely need to be more positive in my self talk. The problem is, I expect to be hurt, upset and rejected. Should I use belief for this, even though it's hard to date when this belief took root. Also, sometimes I feel I don't want to be Happy, because when I am I feel so insecure and sure something will go wrong and knock it all down again and make me feel stupid for thinking that it could go right for me. And I can get support from the whole "grungey" and gothic kind of image of being rejected and in pain. Would automatic pilot be best for this.
