I believe there's no better way of sorting something out than gaining some more profound understanding of what it is to begin with.
Use Natural Brilliance's four-viewpoint model to look at what's happening to you from all angles.
- Your viewpoint
(Are you looking through here at all? You might be worried more about how other people see you, than how you see other people)
- The viewpoint of the people interacting with you
(What do you think these people think of you? Are you making assumptions, or did you ever ask someone to tell you what they really think of you - honestly?)
- Viewing the whole situation from above: You and the others interacting
(Being the intelligent person that you obviously are, if you could see a video tape of yourself talking, and people responding, what would you say about you? About the others? What would you say your "problem" was? Just like really trying to see what's going on, because you want to help someone else see something about themselves that they're not seeing...)
- Viewing the situation "from above", with intent:
(Given what you saw of what's going on, as an impartial observer, what would be your best advice to Davidar? Once you let him be himself, try so hard to be liked, fumble his words, without judging him, when you get to have some time alone with him, what would you say to him, kindly, and with love, so as to help him relax and enjoy himself and others more?)
Might help...
[This message has been edited by turtle (edited March 30, 2004).]
