I agree with you Margaret Ida, go for "giving up" Stevers, which ever interpretation suits. I liked how you both explored the different slants on giving up.

Funny, Margaret Ida, that you talk about quitting ES. Well the possiblity of quitting, even raising that spectre makes me feel uneasy.

So I think the aspect of Giving Up that I would like to work on is giving up doubt. It is a secret let-off clause I use: it keeps me at arm's length (a safety net for me) from true commitment. From time to time I indulge in doubts. Will ES work? What happens if it really does? What happens if it doesn't? You can see from the previous questions that doubt really leads to nothing but circular arguments.

The flipside of the doubt coin is TRUST or FAITH. Trust is easier for me to contemplate as I don't really have a religious or spiritual focus. So I have opted to examine what it means to have faith.

I looked up faith in the web-dictionary and it means:
1) allegiance to duty or a person;
2) fidelity to one's promises;
3) sincerity of intentions:
4) belief, trust in and loyalty to ...X...;
5) firm belief in something for which there is no proof;
6) complete trust
7) something that is believed with especially strong conviction.

You know I feel a bit like a closet alcoholic when I read what faith actually means. I try on ES, flatter myself, play with it, but when the going gets challenging, I revert to the old tried-and-trusted routines (that don't work!). Complete trust seems to be elusive. Sincerity of intentions: likewise, how sincere can I be when I go all luke-warm on ES when I should be deepening my relationship to it? My scientific background also expects proof. Proof makes ES valid. I don't want magic or dreams. No, I want ES to be a science. Not much scope for unquestioning faith and complete trust there, is there?

By way of wonderful synchronicity, one of my visiting nieces is a fundamentalist Baptist ( - so extreme in her religious beliefs). Though I do not agree with her religious convictions, she has 100% faith. She trusts God will deliver on his/her promises. You know, whether I like to admit it or not, this young woman lives full-time in the present. She doesn't worry herself with questions, God is there and will stand by her and deliver her to eternal life. So what is there to worry about? She takes everything in her stride. What is, is. She accepts it. She is very balanced and disciplined. I believe this ability to have faith, to know without doubt that God (or ES in my case) will keep his word, is a key ingredient to both serenity and adopting an appropriate stance to ES.

I would like to learn to trust. To have faith. To have absolute faith in myself. It is myself that I don't wholly trust - yet!
Adieu,
French Claire