it seems like whenever i get into this self-improvement stuff, it gets really distracting... I always want to learn that new thing or get better at something. I want to relax and be happy at the same time as knowing a great deal... I have a craving for the ability of the correct use of 185,000 words in the dictionary. And I am wondering if I could develop a richer vocabulary if i use the dictionary as a reference or reading all the words so that if a word pops up i have some sense of familiarity so i can pick up on words quicker... I feel a need to know everything and be exceptional like a rain man and it seems to keep me off focus from my school work... I want to be focused on what matters.... it seems these little goals clog up my head and i get lots of anxiety for not completing these goals yet and it makes me feel not smart enough and lowers confidence. I use to think all this knowing should increase confidence because i know more... but i've found knowing more and stuff gives me more to worry about, but yet my desire just doesn't go away.
what should i do? i want to remain active! I go to the gym every day and run and do weight lifting and feel i am not doing enough.... I procrastinate too because of all this and causes me not to do so much work in my coursesbecause i am constantly thinking of so many things!
I found when i read less and did less i'd get higher marks.. should i not care anymore or what?
