Several years ago, I have received several counts of head trauma. Which of course, had a cyclic and re-occurring theme to it.
A "friend" punched me in the back of the head/neck area one night because I "looked at him wrong". Yeah nice guy. I know if he hit my any lower it would've been fatal.
Another occasion, a girl got REALLY pissed and threw rocks at my head because I 'turned her down.' She was only 16, I was 21 at the time. That's outta my league.
Another occasion I blacked out in a fast food establishment and apparently banged my chin on the counter, and the back of my head when I hit the floor. (those are two REALLY nasty spots to get blocked)
I'm pretty sure there was a tumor somewhere as well.
I have long since forgiven 'my friend' for the mishap and the girl for releasing her fury upon me. The other one was my fault, I walked through a black top parking lot on a 100 degree day in the summer and was slightly dehydrated. The shock of going in with the AC, threw my body out of balance.
However, since that time, my teeth took a turn for the worst. We have real soft teeth in my family on my mothers side, and my father doesn't have the best either. I don't currently have a job or any way to receive dental assistance (have been applying everywhere, I hope I can get my old manufacturing job back. I'm just waiting for the call, I already talked to the supervisor.)
I guess out of mere stupidity, I've not done anything about this. I've had a couple of my molars capped a few years ago, but nothing since. I probably need 10 or 15 grand to fix all of them. I'm terrible when it comes to asking others for help, perhaps sub-consciously I thought if ignored it, it couldn't bother me. Once it got bad after a couple years, I tried to 'use my energy' to win the lotto, guess I should've payed more attention to the part in Level1 where you don't ask the universe for money.
Most of my teeth have been completely destroyed, when this first happened, I could actually feel energy go through the jaw and arc downwards. I partly attribute this to the fact that some of my molars had the old-style metal fillings which probably helped with the conduction, along with the distorted flow from the deep-seated pain.
I used to be so optimistic but this has waned over the past few years. Realizing fate may catch up to me sooner than I thought, I started diffusing as much long term and past repressed energies as I can--so that I might have less to work through in 'future' life-times. The more I try to overcome, the more "Ego" appears to stand in my way and fill my mind with malignant and self-destructive thoughts. I know these are illusory, but still their vile nature is quite surprising.
I have acquired much understanding about the nature of reality during my meditations. Not out Ego, but I'll say I can do things with my energy that people have not even dreamed of. I have begun to heal the illusion of separation,
I've dissolved the cycle that kept causing me to get head-injuries. But this concept still remains. I'm not afraid of what could/might happen if I can't get this 'problem' fixed soon.
I try to open the head channels and to little avail, the pain might go away for a while, but it usually returns days or weeks later. I haven't been working with my physical energy as much as I've been working with mental.
Any advice would be great.
Endless love, even if it doesn't appear that way...
-Z
