My dear friend, and Brother,
As one who's learning did not come easy, I too, understand the hardships that this world can offer us. It can be a twisted, nightmare...yet there is always hope......
Within our Essence, beyond the various beliefs and labels we have of ourselves and one-another...beyond these layers, joined in Flawless Union--is an Indescribable, Infinite and Changeless Power. Within us, is the Power of God. God is Indescribable for words fall short of meaning here, Infinite--for with all minds, joined as One, the idea of limits is meaningless, as there is nothing that Everything has not accomplished, and Changeless--being Flawless Perfection, there is no need to change or evolve. Simply, "God is."
You who are my elder in the ways of the world, have witnessed much in your physical life-time that I have not yet seen, with mortal perception. But in your time spent here, surely you felt the deep calling of your Inner Voice--teaching you that you are much more than a mere mechanical figurine--and that there IS a better way, Always. This Inner Voice, is you, it is your Higher Self, the Holy Spirit, Collective Higher Consciousness, etc. (Even though separation is a hallucination, I use 'Higher Self' symbolically--which is Mind, rather than talking about the 'denser' ego self or it's domain, the physical body)
You may have had many mysterious visions and brief feelings of amazement, beyond the reach of any description. The content and form of these experiences probably changed based on your current understanding--at that particular time. Everybody has these experiences in their lives, no question about it. Why? Because in the Infinity of All Reality, Essence of the Eternal is calling for you to Awaken, and it IS with you Always. People 'read' each-others minds or know that the phone will ring and who it is that is calling them. These are synchronicity.
When you are in an truly open state, and ready to receive (usually 'not ready' in many cases) Spirit will show you a glimpse of Infinity. Even a glimpse of the Oneness of Totality and Perfect Certainty will allow you to see all of it. Of course, most conscious awareness is so unfocused from being able to retain a vast 'majority' (because the ego believes in levels) of that knowledge (and HOW would your brain record it anyways, where would the information be placed in terms of neurons?). Yet, all in all, you are left with a wonderful feeling of deep peace where the very idea of conflict simply does not exist.
Everyone has events or moments like this happen in their lives, ego cannot prevent it, but it can or may attempt to obscure, distort or cover it up...coincidences, etc. Also, whether or not the person chooses to pay attention to them or follow them joyfully, is another matter. For the most part, people will experience glimpses of Totality in dreams,--many times with symbolic imagery(angels, departed loved ones, etc) rather than a 'direct' "God has appeared" type experience--which is 'rare' --but meditation upon emptiness will eventually unravel and uncover something much more, within it, which is WHOLENESS.
My friend, you may be my elder in time, but we are Brothers in Eternity, equally timeless and imbued with the Limitless Power of God-which was given in our Perfect Creation, and thus we share with all in the Son-ship of God. With that in mind, or at least the idea being considered (leave it to Spirit to handle the rest)...let's take a look at how you are looking at your situation...
"I'm doing the best I can with the limited energy I have, and I have hope that healing will come in time."
This part of your second post really stood out(actually more so that the first post), symbolically as if this is how you are describing the entirety of your situation. Not bad. And actually, I'll show you a way you can use that to your advantage.
To me, (individually), that above quote/statement is pretty concrete, I can't argue with that, in fact, that's -probably- similar to how I'd use to 'label' the energy of such situations. But all 'beliefs' can be broken down, changed, or even fall away, when something more desirable 'comes your way'. Allow me to 'shine this up for you' I seem to have a way with words, and words are merely symbols, yet if our entire 'separated' experience of reality is symbolic, then it would be useful to utilize such power of symbols as we learn and teach each-other to transcend the need for symbols.
"I'm doing the best I can..."
Perfect, don't touch that. That's the energy setup to your reality filter, it is how you see and experience 'yourself'. (Do you notice how your mind resonates with the filter you've set up as you are reading this?)
"...with the limited energy I have,"
I can't argue with or against your belief. That would imply that I would try to limit or change it. I, or any healer using Qi or Spirit energies can 'bless it' healing it for you. But actually, when a healer 'heals' you, they are actually removing the blocks which prevent you from healing. You heal yourself. Yes, they can and do give you extra energy and their love, but you cannot heal unless you decided to. By making the decision to see a healer or even by learning an energy practice such as QiGong, you have already made the decision to heal.
So, looking at that part of your affirmation, ...and, let's say, Spirit has a slightly, better Vision of your statement. Not that your statement is wrong, but it could be improved.
now it's "...with the Limitless creative power of Spirit."
then:
"and I have hope that healing will come in time"
to:
"and I am so happy and grateful for the healing that has come. May it shine outwards to All that Is. Everything."
What do you have as your new outlook:
(something like)
"I'm doing the best I can with the Limitless creative power of Spirit and I am so happy and grateful for the healing that has come. May it shine outwards to All that Is. Everything."
(Feel wonderful, knowing you are One with Spirit and can never lose that state. You feel a deep peace as you blend with the Universe)
What's going on with this? First off, you feel great and happily state your new affirmation. 'I am so happy and grateful' puts you in a positive energy state, your current emotion at any given 'time' has a TREMENDOUS affect (for good or for ill) on the entire Universe.
By being positive, you send a ripple outwards, and the rest of the Universe encodes that energy to manifest. "I'm doing the best I can with the Limitless creative power of Spirit" before that, implies you aren't worried about 'past' worry or it's effects, Spirit will simply collapse the old-belief and it's reality stream for you by being aware of it in your intentions.
"for the healing that has come." This implies that it has already been accomplished. Time is unreal an Spirit is Eternal.
God's accomplishments are instantaneous and complete. By choosing healing is already done, causes it to manifest faster--because you are aligning your energy with your natural energy(which IS timeless).
"May it shine outwards to All that Is. Everything."
By also willing that healing goes outwards to everything, for all purposes, as needed--you synchronize with the One Mind that has overcome all division. Everything on the energy 'level' is interconnected and One. What you send outwards, you give to yourself, vice versa. (no, don't fear negativity or worry--give that energy to Spirit and it will collapse the reality-stream that is no longer needed)
By realigning, your statement, and choosing to feel connected and wonderful--you will surpass the errors and symbolic effects that have been afflicted unto you. Let the 'outdated' victim mentality of being at the effect of outside sources (such as polio or it's seeming lasting effects) and choose to re-align with the mentality of what you really ARE; a limitless Spirit, who is all knowledge, who knows boundless joy--where death and sickness can never touch. I assure you that anytime you remind yourself of this...any changeable beliefs that are no longer useful to your reality will fall away as unreal and cease to be.
There you have it. As for the remainder, it should be effortless since you are working with Spirit--not on the level of form, but rather Essence-Beyond-Form.("emptiness") So, let's take a look at the effects you seem to have...
"...muscles in the legs are already feeling weak"
and in your first post
"Over the years I've had nerve damage, pain and an increase in muscle difficulties and feel very weak."
Aside from the normal SFQ exercises... right off the bat I would say generally any 'low energy' of the body would be party connected with the kidney system--Level 1 (and countless other sources) mentions that our life-force is connected to it.
You mention the legs and some difficulty standing, the legs are where most of the kidney points are.
The good news is, any energy problem is reliability easy to correct once you know what it is. (every is pure energy)
Remove the label from concepts such as, 'low energy' or 'weak energy' and you simply have 'energy'. Like I mentioned before in this post, symbols are inter-woven into practically everything perceptible. Labels of energy are symbols. Time is also a symbol. Don't even worry about 'how long' this will take, Spirit(beyond the symbolic) is your guide here.
Excess fear and worry can decrease the capacity of the kidney energy. Worrying about your perceived state of low energy could perpetuate(unnecessarily cycle it exponentially)
Love and good feelings restore what was 'lost' from the kidney energy and rebalanced it.
Spend some extra time in your meditation working on the kidneys.
Work on the heart too. They go together.
Invite and Visualize the Essence of Spirit enters your heart shining brighter than the galaxies, it feels so peaceful and amazing and fills the whole Universe...that all problems 'shine' away. Shine this energy to your kidneys as well.
For nerve endings, shine to your mind, illuminating everything. Shining away with love, anything that comes up for you. Shine into your brain, every cell, every nerve ending. Visualize that your nerves are being re-encoded with Light. Soothed and healed at every 'level', being reconnected and revitalized, you feel wonderful and refreshed. The energy labeled as 'damaged nerves' is corrected in the Light of Spirit and transformed to an optimal state.
Don't forget to do the closing exercise afterwards. Visualizing that your energy compacts into your energy centers, and the 'quantum data' is stored.
I surely hope this, is to your greatest benefit.
~Z
