Hi Rob
You wrote:
"I have a child that really pushes my buttons and I snap quite often. This is something I need to stop. Patience is the best alternative in my opinion."
I have a 9 year old girl who loves to push buttons too (mine and other peoples). I wanted to share with you some things that worked for me.
I learned to spot the times when she was pushing my buttons and I would tell myself that
1. it is her job to try to push my buttons
2. she was giving me an opportunity to grow by pushing my buttons
3. it is my job to find a way to side step her pushing my buttons
I found that once I could itentify that she was pushing my buttons and then percieve it as an opportunity to grow I could treat it like a game we were playing together. Once I treated it like a "game" it took the emotional charge off of it for me and the whole process became kind of fun to see if I could win the game. For me "winning" meant that I could consciously choose my responses to her rather than always be reacting.
Funny thing that happened for me was that as I got better in doing this with her I found I could do it at work and in other places with other people who were trying to push buttons too.
The other thing that happened is that over time as I got better at not getting my buttons pushed...she seemed to enjoy the process less and appeared to stop pushing my buttons as much.
When I read your post I was reminded of myself as a parent and I just wanted to share my experience with you.
Nickie
