To Angelina and Self discovery,
I realise that what you are both going through is quite unpleasant. To be in that state is not a joke. These are just some tips that I can give from being in a similar position some time ago:
1. Think in terms of projects, not one big purpose. You can choose projects you like and work on them, no matter how small. Coaxing yourself into little projects helps a lot.
2. Use pen & paper or your computer a lot to jot down your desires, something is probably giving you an inner nagging, try find out what it is.
3. Draw mindmaps to brainstorm what you want in life, develop little seeds of plans for each one, maybe 3-5 steps for each one, expand on the plans you like. See if they suit you.
4. Nurture your desires, the one that is nagging you wants expression, don't ignore it. Sometimes we stop in life because there is something that is important to us, it could be quite obvious.
5. Ask yourself questions (the absolute worst and the absolute best) to find the edges of your stuck states like:
-If I had all the money in the world what would I do?
-What's the most naughtiest evil rotten scoundrel thing I want to do? (remember these are just questions to try to wake you up, and shouldn't be acted upon, something good could be hidden along with the bad!)
-What do I fear the most about doing the worst?
-What's the most saintly noble generous and charitable thing I want to do?
-What do I fear the most about doing ...?
-How much fun can I have in one day? What would I do?
-If I really applied myself what is the best I could do?
-How can I be totally selfish?
-How can I be totally unselfish?
-How can I be a silly idiot?
-How can I be good?
-How can I be bad?
-What's the most expensive thing I could possibly want?
-What's the worst that would happen if I didn't achieve...?
-
Find out what is at the end of your extremes by asking questions like this. Your questions may be very different to the ones I've listed.
Thinking in terms of one big purpose is so limiting, and this is probably what you are both screaming at, because the real you wants a lot more than to be nailed down.
Angelina, it seems you have the tendency to want to do it all on one hand and a tendency to think very narrowly in terms of one path on the other hand, your answer is outside of those two options.
Try New Option Generator.
Something like this:
In one hand you hold:
Wanting to do it all / a lot.
Fearing not having a main purpose.
In the other hand you hold:
Wanting to have one purpose and meaning in life.
Fearing being limited.
The times you are both going through will probably make you your own best friend.