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Most days people wouldn't have time for more than 3. You got to have time for other things as well. As an occasional event 5 Paraliminals would be fine.

Remember it's okay to experiement. It's okay to take the playful approach. However don't think you have to listen to 5 Paraliminals to have great results.

Even 3 Paraliminals in a day need only be an occasional event. Be playful and avoid the the shoulds and must rules. Paraliminals are not like subliminals where you need to listen for 30 days to get results. When you listen with an intent you can notice results within 24 hours.

Alex

Thanks, Alex. And yes, this was an just an experiment -- who does have time for more than one or two a day?

By the way, I tried Part A of the lucid dreaming recording for the first time and got the best night's sleep I've had in ages! Talk about an immediate result. Unfortunately, I didn't remember anything -- guess Part B is for helping with that.

Any thoughts on a paraliminal to deal with undirected anger?

Thanks.

Undirected anger? I think the term is a bit abstract. Undirected to me implies that you are angry but you're attacking everything but what you are angry about.

However you seem to be asking about unexplained anger. Anger without a knowing why you are angry.

What may be happening is some part of the Paraliminal is trigging a bottled memory. On one hand you're ready to face it on the other you are not... hence the tension that causes anger.

Try the New History Generator with an intention of releasing the tension of the past frustration in the sense of letting it go. You probably don't need to know or deal with it consciously anymore so ask your nonconscious mind to sort it out so you don't need to feel angry about it.

If it isn't from some bottled source then look out for the ah-ha.

Remember you ain't broken and you don't need fixin'. What you want is to do some things differently so it's easier on yourself.

Alex

Alex,

Yes, you're right about it being "unexplained", so that my feeling is confused, angry frustration, and my response scattershot. I’ll try New History Generator in the manner you describe. I have a lot of childhood amnesia and the paraliminals may indeed be tapping into a bottled memory. Or not. ("Ah-ha" moments are welcome; even when they're painful at first, they’re rewarding in the end.)

Either way, I'll bear in mind that I ain't broke! Like a lot of people, I’ve labored under the false belief that gremlins within are out to get me. Thanks for reminding me and everyone who reads this that the unconscious mind is on the side of the angels.

Danielle

Hi Alex,

Just a brief note to say thanks for your help in my approaching this unexplained anger of mine. I tried the New History Generator using your tip and, while it didn't uncover the source of the anger (I didn't think it would), it unlocked feelings underneath it, mostly of grief. Now I just have to come up with the courage to face the grief and whatever else comes up!

Come to think of it, can you recommend any paraliminal(s) to help me with that, as well as particular approaches? That seems to be a gift of yours.

Thanks,
Danielle

My thoughts were Self-Esteem Supercharger, Anxiety Free and Positive Relationships would each help with grief.

In your situation you moved from anger to grief. So my intuition says Positive Relationship would be the the one to use.

Why? You don't know the reason and I did suggest it may not be necessary to know the reason to move on. Anger, often means you want to fend something off, grief is a personal hurt often a result of a loss. It may indicate that you did not have an ideal relationship with someone close, lacked support in a time of crisis. To heal that wound you would need to be able to support yourself. Be there for yourself because in the past the support wasn't there (it may be even you who goofed and you haven't forgiven yourself for that mistake). Remembered or forgotten your younger self was wounded and is still feeling the wound. Your current self needs to allow the wounded self to know it's okay, what ever happened in the past can stay in the past. Whatever wrong you or someone else did you have learned from and nothing needs to be made right, whatever you lost you managed okay anyway and there is no need to blame anyone because it just is as it is.

Support yourself as you would a child who did something silly, got hurt as a consequence and is laid up until the wound is healed. Be relieved because whatever it was, you survived.

After the Positive Relationship Session B, 1 to maybe 3 times, use the Self-Esteem Supercharger Paraliminal.

Alex

Hi Alex,

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I'll give your suggestions a try and let you know what happens.

I've tried Self-Esteem Supercharger and Anxiety-Free in the past, and both prompted that pesky pop-up anger, but I've shied away from the Positive Relationships paraliminal, probably because I knew intuitively that it would bring up even more stuff from the distant past that I haven't wanted to deal with -- which is funny, since that reluctance is always the best indicator that something needs to be faced!

Thanks again --
Danielle

Danielle

Some questions I often ask myself when I realize I am angry:

1. What do I want that I am not getting?

2. Am I standing up for myself enough?

3. What feeling is under the anger?

The third question about what feeling is under the anger is because I have found that anger often masks hurt. It is much easier for some people to feel anger than to feel hurt. For other people it is easier to feel hurt than anger. I have also found that anger is more active than hurt in that is can explode and move the energy...with hurt I often feel more contracted and it doesn't move outward it tends to implode inward for me. And sometimes I would rather be angry than hurt because it feels like the energy is moving more. You will have to figure out how you manage those emotions. As I have said...I have found answering those questions helpful to me.

Alex has given you some fantastic information. In my time reading this board she is usually right on target and has a gentle way of intuiting what folks are really asking and what they are needing.

I was in a 9 year relationship that ended in early June and I used (and at times still use) the Positive Relationship paraliminal. I have to say this breakup was the easiest I have ever had in my life and I believe a lot of it has to do with that paraliminal. Whenever I would feel crazy about the breakup I would use the paraliminal. I would feel so much better after listening.

Also, for me, the break up triggered all kinds of loss issues...my cat dying 2 years ago, my grandmother's death 18 years ago...both events had unresolved grief around them that got triggered in the grieving of the end of the relationship. The Postive Relationship paraliminal helped with those feelings too.

Good luck to you. My hope for you is that you will practice love and compassion for yourself as you move through this process.
Blessings
Nickie

Hi Nickie,

Thanks for your time, suggestions and especially for sharing. I wish you the best in dealing with your breakup and the other difficult feelings it has brought up. Losing a relationship after such a long time as nine years is very hard, and I'm glad to hear that the paraliminals are helpful. Good luck!

You spoke about feeling hurt as feeling "contracted" and "it tends to implode inward for me". For me, hurt doesn't implode, which implies a sort of hollowing; is that what you mean? Hurt permeates me, if I let it. It weighs on me and exhausts me, leaving me feeling anything from mildly pouty to ineffectual to worthless. Anger, on the other hand, is as you say, "like the energy is moving more." I've preferred that feeling of energy and power my whole life to the other, but just as locking oneself into any emotion will, it locks out everything else. Knowing this, I've approached anger from various angles over the years, including variations on your three questions. Oh, how I wish there weren't such difficult consequences to answering them!

Mostly those consequences boil down to one thing: How much of myself am I willing to face right now? Alex's responses have so far been, as you say, right on target and very helpful. Now your response adds another dimension, and I thank you both (not to mention Paul and company for the paraliminals!). It's far easier to face difficult matters knowing that all one really has to do is be kind to oneself through the hard parts, accept them, and then let them go. (That is, Kubler-Ross's five steps of grieving pretty much cover it.)

I think what we're all saying is that, ultimately, anyone who feels unexplained anger, or any emotion inappropriate to its setting, has to stop responding reflexively and explore the underlying emotions. If we don't explore our feelings, life will be shallow, boring, unsatisfying, and certainly not much fun. Who wants that!? Not me, and obviously not you.

Good luck and God bless,
Danielle

Hi Alex,

I wanted to let you know how your advice helped me and to thank you very much indeed!

As you suggested, I tried the New History Generator with the idea of getting under the grief without putting the onus on myself to identify specifics, and I did just that. The second time (of two), I especially remembered your idea of being a good parent to my young self who goofed and hurt herself, etc., and had a breakthrough. No memories came back to explain anything. The day after both sessions, however, I realized major things about general attitudes I and others held in my early life and how that affected me then. More important, and truly astonishing, I realized with felt-thought that I can indeed rewrite my history, using my present self as a kindly good parent and guide, so that things that used to bother me terribly may still bother me somewhat, but now I can effectively deal with them. Just this morning, for example, I did a mental "trial run" of a conversation I know is going to come up (I know this person very well), and instead of getting upset, I imagined myself calmly countering the patronization and then mockery I'm going to hear. By the way, I've done these rehearsals in the past and they've always worked well, so I have no reason to believe this will be any different.

I didn't do Self-Esteem Supercharger because all this made me feel so great about myself it seemed unnecessary. I did listen to Ideal Weight last night and not one angry or sad feeling came up. I really feel back on track. This is so great!! THANK YOU!!!

I hope your life is going well for you too!
Best wishes and God bless,
Danielle