Danielle
Some questions I often ask myself when I realize I am angry:
1. What do I want that I am not getting?
2. Am I standing up for myself enough?
3. What feeling is under the anger?
The third question about what feeling is under the anger is because I have found that anger often masks hurt. It is much easier for some people to feel anger than to feel hurt. For other people it is easier to feel hurt than anger. I have also found that anger is more active than hurt in that is can explode and move the energy...with hurt I often feel more contracted and it doesn't move outward it tends to implode inward for me. And sometimes I would rather be angry than hurt because it feels like the energy is moving more. You will have to figure out how you manage those emotions. As I have said...I have found answering those questions helpful to me.
Alex has given you some fantastic information. In my time reading this board she is usually right on target and has a gentle way of intuiting what folks are really asking and what they are needing.
I was in a 9 year relationship that ended in early June and I used (and at times still use) the Positive Relationship paraliminal. I have to say this breakup was the easiest I have ever had in my life and I believe a lot of it has to do with that paraliminal. Whenever I would feel crazy about the breakup I would use the paraliminal. I would feel so much better after listening.
Also, for me, the break up triggered all kinds of loss issues...my cat dying 2 years ago, my grandmother's death 18 years ago...both events had unresolved grief around them that got triggered in the grieving of the end of the relationship. The Postive Relationship paraliminal helped with those feelings too.
Good luck to you. My hope for you is that you will practice love and compassion for yourself as you move through this process.
Blessings
Nickie
