GödelEscherBach,
Thanks for your input. I think I have done a pretty good job of identifying my stop signs with regard to this issue, but it’s kind of backwards. Instead of having something that I want to do but keep not doing, I have something that I don’t want to do but keep doing. Still, the oscillation is obvious. Also, I have identified visual images and internal conversations that push me to eat, but I have also identified an uncomfortable physical sensation that comes with an unspoken promise that if I eat, it will go away. And it does go away if I eat, but it is replaced by such lovely emotions as shame, self-hatred, and frustration. On the other hand, if I don’t eat, these uncomfortable feeling get stronger and stronger. So, yes I have identified my stop signs, yes I am still oscillating on this issue, and no I have not uprooted these stop signs yet.
I decided to repeat the course, but to do so more slowly, giving myself a few days to learn and practice each step. I also decided to focus just on improving my eating habits, rather than the whole weight issue. (There are advantages to improving how I eat other than just weight loss.) I listened to CD 1 and reread the intro material in the manual again, listened to CD 2 up to the paraliminal part again, read step 1 in the manual again, and then did the worksheet. I listened to the step 1 paraliminal the next morning. I little later that morning it occurred to me that I could change my perception about the situation so that, instead of perceiving the NB course as a way to change my eating habits, I could use my eating habits as a way to play with the NB model.
