Hi all,
I dug up this old post because I have found out some answers to the last question.
To make a long story short, I found an internal voice right beside my right ear explaining me in a very pleasant and patient voice, how "it cannot be doen, you have to understand how things are, that's how life is" etc. That was the answer to my wanting anything in life, especially wanting to feel good in my life. "It cannot be don". yikes!
As you can see, it took me 13 months to find the answer. Somehow this belief had squirmed it's way into one of my core beliefs. Of course, as soon as I found it, I ran the voice and my reactions backwards to get rid of it.
Life seems very different now. I have been waiting long for this moment, not only 13 months, but 12 years, since I started my self-development.
It'äs funny how that belief made the persons dearest to me act sometimes very rudely to me. I was just wondering how it was possible. Apparently I had an unconscious want to avoid pleasant voices and my family and best friends reacted to my unconscious want.
Also this belief led me to find more and more unpleasant memories of things that had never happened to me. last night I dreamed of atom ombs exploding, and finally decided this is too much!
As I said in the message above, I have had the habit of "collecting" unpleasant feelings or strategies from other people. No more of that now.
What did it take to finally come to htis? Well, as far as I know, the best course that helped me is Boundless renewal. And to be specific, I started drawing after that course and it has been the best help to me. All the other cources sort of bounced back from my belief, including natural brilliance, even SFQ was much too ineffective. As you can see from the beginning of this thread, I was not much impressed by Boundless renewal and Bernie Saunders at first, but I did not give up either.
[He].2s2.2p4
