Hello Wendy,

Sorry to take up so much time on this forum, and I greatly appreciate having the opportunity to receive guidance this way. I hope that something in these posts is helpful to others studying this material.

I was able to shift medit. 1 through guidance from another teacher. I am now on medit #2. I know this may seem a strange question, but how do I know if I am actually achieving focused consciousness on awareness?

I dont feel this is a case of overthinking or wanting to "get it right" in the manic sort of form, but more that I am experiencing a couple of different states while int he meditation, and I am not getting a clear sense of achieving the desired state. From this perspective, I do not want to be "exercising the wrong muscles", i.e. developing a practice that is not in alignment with awareness.

In the meditation, I experience a couple of different states:
one is an experience of extreme spaciousness, with only my sense of self, what I would have described in the past as my awareness, I guess this is my consciousness? As if I am floating in a void, with no sense of my outside world, body, etc.

The other state is more of a sense of being suspended in a column of energy down the center or my body, where there is more awareness of being embodied and sort of a focused mental concentration, yet pretty clear of distracting thoughts, and a clear energetic sensation of my energy body being pulled in one direction or the other, right or left of me, in response to thoughts of the past (left) or future (right).

Can you provide guidance on these states and in which direction I should move?

Thank you!

Hi WaterBird!

Sorry for the tardy response. I’ve been out of the office for a few days!

Your question is an interesting one, but I don’t think I can give a precise answer, because we are not dealing with objective results that would be the same for everyone. Both of the states you describe sound as if they have aspects of being consciously aware. In the end, this is about trusting that whatever presents is just fine and that as you continue to work with Jeddah’s materials you will become more and more aligned with conscious awareness on a regular basis. Just observe what is happening and keep expanding around and through it.

My experience is that it’s a combination of the two states you describe, although a huge piece of it for me is a sense of total connection to everything that is. Also, I don’t feel as if I’m being pulled in any way - I’m absolutely okay with being still and surrendering to the state I’m in, with no need to modulate or tweak it.

Remember that this is about being consciously aware rather than achieving or doing anything. As you continue to work with the new meditations and revisit the earlier ones, you will notice an incredible unfolding as your consciousness more and more frequently taps into the Sea of Awareness.

Sparkle on!

With love,
Wendy