Would love some guidance please. Have all the Paraliminal library and have been using Ideal weight. Side A is brilliant and motivates me, but side B does nothing for me - weird. Anyway, whenever I lose some weight, I have to sabotage this and eat everything in sight, especially rubbish (goodies/treats). I then gain back the weight and more - I am the proverbial yo yo dieter. I know this behaviour stems from issues in my childhood and unhappy marriage, Im turning him off by staying fat. I feel I should use New Hstory and New Behaviour generators as well, but guidance would be much appreciated, especially with the constant sabotage.

Hey guys, some would be appreciated here please!

I can't comment on which programs to use as I'm a newbie too but please make sure you are eating enough (no starvation diets) and good wholesome food at that. Too few calories and low quality food can trick your body into thinking it's in a famine and trigger food binges to compensate. That's the non-emotional part of the weight issue that nobody seems to know. In my experience, if I am eating well and enough (caloric needs during dieting/non-dieting obviously vary by person) most if not all overeating stops, cravings diminish and emotions (the I'm so fat, I can't stand it" and I'm a loser because I can't lose weight" ones) normalize to the extent that you can truly focus on what's "eating you" about your body and weight. Hope this helps in addition to the paraliminal support.

Thanks for that, you're right about me having to focus on the "what's eating me?" part, I think its the emotional reasons Ive got to get to grips with. I've been reading through alot of the old posts and other information on the web and it seems that my yo yo dieting is because I'm not getting to grips with the emotional aspects of what caused me to gain weight in the first place and why it isnt shifting. I think Im going to use Ideal weight to get through the mechanics of it ie the non emotional part and then Anxiety free, and new behaviour and history generators to deal with issues from past. Does anyone agree/disagree with me here?

For me it's always been some sort of perceived fear/danger that I'm going to experience in the future, so having food now is the ultimate way to medicate myself, so I don't have to think about it the anxiety.

But when I always have "something going on", some project that I really enjoy doing (like learning a web language or something that's simply fun for me), it gives me something to pleasing to think about and I don't have to use my favorite drug: junk food/fast food.

The way I've been able to resolve it myself is by reading a book called Diets Don't Work by David Schwartz. It kinds gave me my sanity back, but it's going to sound paradoxical.

When I began feeling like it's okay to eat *exactly* what I want, even junk - as long I follow his rules of how "naturally thin people" eat, then the bad food isn't such a "taboo" attractant to me ( and when there's any food that my belief system thinks is a "bad" food, it just makes me want more of it and makes me think about it more )

The book had me knowing I can eat what I want and be okay, but then I simply choose as a conscious being, good healthy foods, knowing I can treat myself to one cheat meal a week.

What also helped is listening to Eating For Health by thinkrightnow.com. That's just what worked for me.

I think you should go ahead and use Anxiety Free like you mentioned, to get rid of the need to use food as sort of a medication, if I may use that word.

What I liked about Diets Dont Work is it's mostly blank lines in the book and questions, for the reader to take a pen and write down in.. asking you to think back who you got your habits from, etc.

However Learning Strategies provides the high-tech way of rewriting behaviour/beliefs that we are still hanging on to ! So I think you should read the pamphlets of the behaviour CD's, both of them, to see how you could adapt it to your eating behaviours.

Best,
Steve

Another set of books to consider that go beyond "Diets Don't Work" is "Naturally Thin by Eating More" and "Breaking Out of Food Jail" by Jean Antonello. You'll get great information why diets don't work for most and how they can encourage weight gain (i.e. - undereating, low quality food and not eating on time all promote fat storage, overeating and exacerbate the emotional aspects of weight loss/gain). Most will choose not to follow the author's program as it requires one to bravely trust his/her body and allow perhaps some weight gain in the interest of breaking the diet cycle and becoming naturally thin down the road. However, at the very least, the information on why very few people seem able to keep weight off effortlessly and permanently through strict dieting is an eye opener and priceless.

New History Generator would be a good boost. I think people often overlook that their past went a long way to the development of who they are now and the whys. New History Generator is great for rediscovering other options to dealing with whatever reason the saboteur within you shows up. Ideal also is Break the Habit, and New Behaviour Generator along with Anxiety Free. Since everyone is unique we sometimes need more than one Paraliminal to get the foot off the breaks.

Alex

Thanks for all the wonderful tips Steve BCA, Nanina and Alex, I shall look into all the stuff mentioned. I actually own Eating for Health, but never got round to using it, also cos I share my bedroom, I couldnt have it playing in the background all night, but I will try to find time to listen to it. I am a teacher, what if I put in on and listen to it whilst I get through my marking, will that still produce results?

Also, I have been checking out EFT, lots of success stories on the website, if nothing else, I gained valuable insights into why I am holding onto my weight, I can use that information whilst listening to New History Generator.

I cant be a strict dieter, the child in me retaliates because I was deprived of sweets to some extent during my childhood, so I will just go off on a sweets binge instead and crave them constantly. Eating sensibly probably works best.

Its when I step on the scales and see some weight lost, that I just cant help myself, I have to gain it back and more, I dont even think about it, it just happens.

Pinksitara, some additional comments...

Consider stop weighing yourself (even throw out the scale if you have the courage) and go by the fit of your clothes. Living by the scale can be an emotional roller coaster for reasons I know I do not have to address. Just eat well and sensibly, work on your issues with the paraliminals and Eating for Health (I often listen to my TRN programs when I can during the day while doing other things and have noticed good effects), try to get on with your life and allow your body to do its thing with the weight.

Also, please make sure you are trimming down truly for YOURSELF and not to make somebody else happy.

To your success.

One think I wanted to mention, and I'm not sure why I didn't because this is more relevant to your situation, I'd think, than that semi long novel I posted earlier.

Clearly you are conscious and aware of a specific behaviour. When you lose the weight, you notice yourself eating to make sure you gain it back.

I had the same problem. What I did was finally force myself to sit down in a comfortable chair with a notepad and pen and ask myself - and really feel the response thoroughly:

"What would happen if I settled on a great weight and easily stayed at this weight." ( and really, the intention behind this question was: what *bad* thing would happen?)

I let the answer come and when it did, I found it hard to not get up and distract myself, because there feelings of discomfort.
This is the first time I had ever let myself ponder over it.

The Belief I uncovered: I would be unsafe. I pictured myself being in that "attractive class" of guys and having women look my way, away from their boyfriend, or even single women choosing me over someone else in a social situation.

The specific belief was: attractive body = getting into physical fights

As ridiculous as that sounds, arriving at that belief resounded with a solidity that I couldn't deny. I felt physically unsafe. When I was in elementary school, I would avoid fights however way I could, even take crap from other people, becuase I knew my mother would kick the crap out of me if she had to go out of her way to pick me up from the principal's office. Sounds funny, but very real for me back then.

Those hidden payoffs can be more powerful than we think. ( which is why I'm sure Paul asks in the Beliefs CD if every part of you is willing to accept the new belief.)

Try just really getting deep into yourself by asking yourself what would happen, and let it come out on paper, or just listen to the thoughts, while really imagining that you actually permanently found yourself at that perfect weight, and just let the answer come.

hth
Steve

Thank you so much again for all this wonderful advise!

Nanina, Im going to break the habit of stepping onto the scales every morning, because I realise that it is such a destructive habit for me and controls my life so much. I am asking a friend to keep them for me for a long while. Also, I will be listening to my TRN's while I mark.

I am setting my alarm half an hour early now in the mornings and listening to one of the paraliminals, as well as in the evenings, so all that will have started to kick in as well.

SteveBCA, you are absolutely correct, part of my issue is also about unwanted attention from men. As a teenager, I got alot of attention and enjoyed it, but because of my cultural background, and mostly my parent's attitude, I couldnt do much with this attention - I knew my parents wanted to arrange my marriage, and they did. My marriage was to someone from another country, lots of cultural differences there, and it got so bad that we are now separated but he keeps wanting me back, we have a child together as well. I know that my weight issues are to do with keeping him away from me ( being fat = unattractive) as I somehow cant stand up to him. This inability to stand up for myself stems from my childhood - controlling parents who still to this day treat me and my brothers as small children.

There, I've said it, my main core issues. I am listening to Belief and considering these. One thing I know is that I have got to get to grips with these emotional issues before I can successfully lose and keep the weight off. Using the paraliminals and the sound advise I have received, I am hoping that this is the last time I have to lose such a great amount.

Here begins my great journey!

Hi Pink!!!

Well can't resist adding to your thread... dieting is something I have learned a lot about in the last year especially. Each time I tried again I realized something that would help improve my sticking to it.... until I figured it out. My advise to you is... Only eat healthy food and that means natural food. Eat as much as you like until you naturally eat less. Don't force it. Also listen to your body, some days you may need to eat more and do it. Also they say exercise is key because many sources these days are saying diets don't work. Just start with doing a little more exercising than you are doing now and find something you enjoy. I am doing my 20 minute pilates routine. Before I was walking quite a bit but it was too much for my body right now.

Anyhow, just keep trying till you finally find your place in this. It's a lifestyle of eating right that you are wanting to achieve more than anything... And you will also find you prefer eating the good stuff! what could be better!

Hope this helps and looks like you are already going good!
scooter~*

Hey Scooter, thanks!

Its true, its the healthy foods that are nutrient dense which are better for you. I have been studying food diets, and Weight Watchers have one where you can cook what you want from a list of mainly natural ingredients, then eat as much as you want in any one sitting, there being 3 sittings a day with 2 snacks from a list between them. This is directly the same principle what you are saying, natural healthy foods eaten as much as your body needs will help your body to get back to it's natural weight.

What I think is happening in western society these days, is that due to stress, lonliness, keeping up with the neighbours etc, we use food for comfort eating too much and especially to compensate for feelings or memories we would rather not face. At these times its the rubbish foods that we prefer, the ones with empty calories.

That's been my issue, I know what I should be eating, but when I dont want to face a certain feeling, I will stuff up with rubbish food so I think about the uncomfortable feeling in my distended stomach rather than the actual feeling, and then of course, the original feeling has gone by the time my stomach has digested the food... But I am working on it now, and a week after listening to Ideal Weight and New Behaviour Generator, I can feel that my dress is just that slightly bit looser - not as tight as it had become. Of course what has helped is that my car broke down and has been in the garage all week and so I decided to walk to work and back instead, that's 1 hour altogether every day.

Point being, that any diet must be complemented by an exercise routine as well. Again, I have been doing alot of research on this and it seems that every day a new barage of information becomes available. Seems that interval training is the way to go, rather than long durations of aerobic activity. Pilates and similar routines are good for lengethining muscles, but, I must say I have become apple shaped - a rather large waist line, not too good for the old ticker. The work I did with EFT showed me it was about all the feelings I have been "stuffing" inside me rather than expressing. Any suggestions out there for me on the best way to reduce this? It has always been my dream to have an hourglass figure.....