Help for a non-existent relationship - Forum for PhotoReading, Paraliminals, Spring Forest Qigong, and your quest for improvement

I'm new to paraliminals and am looking for something that will help with my situation.

There's a girl that I'm mad for. She has no idea of the affect she has on me. I mean, I now know why people say "If you would say yes, I'd be the happiest man on earth." Once in a while she appears to express interest, but the bottom line is that she won't even go out with me. I've asked so many times.

This has been going on for well over a year and it's hard to think about anything else. It's taken a real toll on whatever self-esteem I do have.

Once in a while she'll give hints that she might be interested. I either need to find a way to move the relationship forward or to coexist without her. I can't begin to tell you the emotional energy I've expended.

In another post someone said that something like Prosperity and Relationships "might" help, but that if you're consumed by a thought, your subconscious can't really do much for you.

Any thoughts, ideas or suggestions??? Help!

You might want to try the Relationship paraliminal.

Hi Glenwood,

I'd say listen to the Self-Esteem Supercharger. When people see that you like yourself, they'll be attracted to you. It can't hurt to listen to the Relationships paraliminal either. With the Paraliminals, even if your conscious mind is distracted, the positive messages will reach your other-than-conscious mind.

And remember that when you state your goal before listening, make sure that it is stated in the positive, and that it is something that is within your control. For example, to say, "I want this girl to like me" or "I want her to feel the same way I do" is not a well-formed goal. You cannot control whether or not people like you, no one can, but you can decide to become a more charismatic or outgoing or self-confident. Try to think about this when you state your purpose.

Good luck!

Having high self esteem means being able to fully accept and love yourself regardless of where you are at in your life. High self esteem is not dependant on circumstances outside of you. It is truly about having peace of mind.

Paraliminals are not going to force another person to embrace and accept your reality. These tools do not give you power to make someone else go against their will, making them loose the ability to make choices in their life. Paraliminals are designed to help the user change subconscious programs in their mind that have sabotaged and stopped them from attaining their goals.

In the case of a relationship, paraliminals may help you become more receptive to people that are ready to be in the kind of relationship that you are looking for. In other words you will develop the skill to recognize people that are about what you are about and to know when these opportunities have arrived. You cannot force a women who has no interest in you to start having an attraction towards you. How do you know that the women that you want so badly is even capable of being in a healthy and loving relationship? Things always look good on the outside, but do you know the inner workings of her mind. If you have asked her out many times and she has refused, maybe she is not attracted to you or likes playing games. If it is the latter than you are dealing with someone who has issues and it might be better that you find someone else. It is not about being so obsessed with one person and having a tunnel vision of wanting that specific woman, I personally think it is healthier to build up your self esteem so that you can attract someone who you are compatible with emotional, intellectually, spiritually and physically. By having true compatibility you are building a foundation that creates a long lasting stable relationship. Do not place limits on your mind, this defeats the purpose of the paraliminals. Suppose this women ends up giving in to your needs and then you find out she has a whole a lot of baggage and unresloved issues, are you willing to be in a toxic and unhealthy relationship just for the sake of getting this specific woman. Is it really worth it? My last word of advice is be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.

Personally, I've used Natural Brilliance for attraction, Relationships for cementing, and Personal Celebration for relentlessness. I met the love of my life on March 10th, and proposed to her yesterday night just before midnight. Personal Celebration and Natural Brilliance are awesome, because they force you to ask and answer the question, "what do I want out of life?"

I proposed because I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship, and in a person, and she was right next to me.

Since Natural Brilliance is on sale today, I would take advantage of the offer. Listen to the Natural Brilliance generator until you have a Paul Scheele in your head. You might be completely and utterly rejected, but you will not be afraid. And, if you are rejected, you will be no FURTHER from your goal than if you had never asked.

Coming back to this forum after the weekend, I must say I was IMPRESSED with the number of responses. Thank you!

I'm aware that you can't make someone do something against their will, but I'm hoping to at least be able to make a more positive impression. It's like I really don't know how to act around her anymore. We went through a period where we both sort of had this "understanding" that we wouldn't talk to each other. It's been difficult, but she's recently started speaking to me again and I don't want to blow it.

In some ways I think she might be scared of me. I know that I've probably appeared too desparate. I hear that women have radar about that sort of thing. Someone once said that when you don't "need" someone, suddenly your more free to actually love them. Meaning you can more easily extend yourself instead of trying to "perform" for them so they'll like you.

I particularly noticed it over the weekend when I was able to express a sincere interest in someone. As the day progressed, she was definitely interested. This wasn't a date, just someone that went with some friends and me. When I saw "the one" again, I froze.

bHenry: It's not that I don't really know her. We've had those phone calls that last like 4 hours and we have a great deal in common - very similar goals and outlook on life. There's just something in the way - almost like there's a wall between us. just know we'd be great together if we could just GET together. To quote Val Kilmer, "my sun rises and sets with her." I really want it to happen, but if it's not going to, I wish I could get over her.

quote:
Originally posted by bhenry:
High self esteem is not dependant on circumstances outside of you. It is truly about having peace of mind...
It is not about being so obsessed with one person and having a tunnel vision of wanting that specific woman... I personally think it is healthier to build up your self esteem so that you can attract someone who you are compatible with emotional, intellectually, spiritually and physically.

I read your post again and had to laugh. It's DEFINITELY been a case of tunnel vision. We have the compatibility... everything except for the emotional.

quote:
Originally posted by Sandy Millies:
Hi Glenwood,

And remember that when you state your goal before listening, make sure that it is stated in the positive, and that it is something that is within your control. For example, to say, "I want this girl to like me" or "I want her to feel the same way I do" is not a well-formed goal. You cannot control whether or not people like you, no one can, but you can decide to become a more charismatic or outgoing or self-confident.

Thanks, Sandy. I'd probably buy all the paraliminals if I could afford them. I just needed a place to start. Your response poses an interesting question. I was thinking about Natural Brilliance, because this definitely has the symptoms of a stuck state. Wouldn't it be difficult to state a goal in the positive when you don't even know where the real problem is?

quote:
Originally posted by Kaiden:
[B]I met the love of my life on March 10th, and proposed to her yesterday night just before midnight. Personal Celebration and Natural Brilliance are awesome, because they force you to ask and answer the question, "what do I want out of life?"
B]

CONGRATULATIONS Kaiden! You met her and proposed to her all within less than a month?All I can say is wow!

I'm actually excited for you. Not an easy thing when it depresses me to see any of those so called romantic comedies - They always end with the guy getting the girl. I'm excited because it seems that the paraliminals have made a definite improvement for you. There may be hope yet.

I was wondering how long you've been using the paraliminals you mentioned and when you first started noticing a difference. I don't know much about Personal Celebration, but there appears to be a lot of good feedback about Natural Brilliance. I didn't know it was on sale. It sounds like a great buy!

quote:
Originally posted by Glenwood:
Wouldn't it be difficult to state a goal in the positive when you don't even know where the real problem is?

Try to think of it this way, if you say, "Do not think about the glass on the counter," what do you think your mind will focus on? Right, you'll think about the glass. In the same way, if you have a purpose stated in the negative, your mind will hear that as a command. If you state that you know what the problem is, you begin to focus on that problem being a problem, instead of stating where you can go, what you can accomplish.

If I say, "I will not be shy around other people," most likely I'll be so focused on that as my problem, since I have just established it as one, that I will probably just clam up when I'm with other people. On the other hand, if I say, "I will be more assertive and confident when I am in a social situation," I can focus on that as my goal. A positive one. Focusing on the possibilities. Sometimes it's not necessary to know where the problem came from in order to make positive changes.

Thanks, Glenwood.

Out of everything, I would recommend Natural Brilliance the most, as it is an extremely effective modle for "relationship procurement and development." You release, so that you're not totally floored by the Ideal Woman (you will be floored, but it will not be total), then you notice what's going on, both in the environment external to you, and also all her verbal and non-verbal communication. Because you're not floored, and you're actively paying attention, you can respond in a powerful manner, and then witness how your response moves you towards your goals.

quote:
Originally posted by Sandy Millies:
Try to think of it this way, if you say, "Do not think about the glass on the counter," what do you think your mind will focus on? Right, you'll think about the glass.

Great explanation Sandy. It really helped clarify the positive statements you mentioned. I wonder if I need to come up with some statements so I can think of something else when I'm around her. She's almost all I can think about whenever she's around. Come to think of it, I think about her alot when she's not around too. I've got it bad....

quote:
Originally posted by Kaiden:
Thanks, Glenwood.
Out of everything, I would recommend Natural Brilliance the most, as it is an extremely effective modle for "relationship procurement and development."

Last night I ordered Prosperity, Relationships, and Self-Esteem Supercharger. I definitely want to get Natural Brilliance - even more so with the description you gave.

I am floored. I notice EVERYTHING, both verbal and non-verbal to the point of analyzing it to death. Where I'd see the most benefit would probably be in the area of response. Even though I may think I'm being calm and collected, there's no telling how I really come across.

Let me know how the paraliminals effect you. Be careful with the Relationships one. In addition to developing what I can only term "psychic powers," I also have improved my relationship with the Divine, to the point where she converses with me.

With the relationships tape, the only limits are your own ability to accept the surreal.

I've listened to Self-Esteem Supercharger and Relationships. My mind seems to argue with some of the things being stated on the tape. Instead of coming out of the session energized and positive, sometimes I've found myself saying, "yeah, right."

I'm trying to give myself an extra boost to bring myself to a more positive state after the sesion.

I do have a positive report. She seemed alot friendlier to me today than she's been in the past. This is a good thing! Hopefully it's only the beginning and it will get even better.

Kaiden, I saw in another post regarding Natural Brilliance that you have to be willing to be confused for a while. I was wondering if you could expound on that?

quote:
Kaiden, I saw in another post regarding Natural Brilliance that you have to be willing to be confused for a while. I was wondering if you could expound on that?

Simply put, in this series Paul Scheele is often saying two things at once. Now, with some NLP techniques, this is a subtle form of lying. For example, almost the totality of Speed Seduction is based on saying one thing but meaning another.

With Natural Brilliance, many of the things you'll be told, especially in the Natural Brilliance Generator, have two meanings which are BOTH intended and BOTH true. And there's no time to pause and digest the meanings before another ambiguity is thrown at you. It's wonderful, because it takes NLP and turns it from a tool of harmful lying into a tool of profound truth.

Hi Glenwood!

I have been using these tapes for almost the same purpose over a few years. To be the perfect boyfriend.

AND the most important thing I found out is actually your Self Esteem! I felt the same as you when I first used this tape, was that I felt like "yes yes.. I'm a superhuman being. yeah yaah..". I didn't feel like that at all!!.. Soo.... What did I do? I kept listening to the tape. Sometimes even twice a day! I have noticed, that if you listen to the tape, you probably feel a little like groggy afterwards, but after 20 minutes you quite feel very good about yourself...

And after just 2 months, I totally felt like have so a powerfull tool, that I was really special. I can do things, nobody, or rather almost nobody can do. Nobody are like me. I have this and that. I can do this and that.

Try to look yourself in the mirror. This really great when you ALSO creat the feeling of it! Try to see whats really beautiful about you. Your hair (maybe looked from this or this angle point of view), your eyes, your smile.. Feeel it. Embrase it.. Notice it. Notice how you look.. uhmm.. Try and see what would be best. After some time then everytime you go to the mirror, you know you look good. And soon it will come quite automatic that you will look at yourself like that in the mirror. Try and see what will happen i your world. Because the way you think of you, others will probably see you like that! So it's best to look at your self (and FEEL it) that you deserve the best because you look so great....

By the way.. This will come quite automatic when you listen to the Self-Esteem Supercharger. So use it very often!!

As the bible says: "A man is what he thinks of all day long". So it's best to look at yourself as a great human being. And that you will become. Feel it...

To increase your Instantanous Personal Magnetism (=tape), then try to get a role model. One you know, who really got chicks . Try to copy some this behaviour with this tape. The way this person smiles, what's really special about the persons present. His magnetism. This will help you.. And also remember to use the Self-Esteem Superchager tape. I think this combination is really great.

I have also found out, that woman don't take men who looks desperate. Let's put it from another kind of view. Let's say you are a great guy. Woman REEEALLY look up to you. Then you see a woman, who looks like she is really desparate, she wants you and she has low selfesteem. She tries for a long period of time to get you by changing the way she is. Are you attracted to that? I hope not..

Women want a man who has selfesteem, and know what he wants. A man who can relax, have fun. Be himself together with her. Open. I think the right love don't come to someone who hard tries to be something different from what he really is, when she can feel it! A woman probably want a man who has his own standingpoints and knows what he thinks, his opinion etc. The right love to you should come from someone who really accept the way you are. This and only this can be true love.. Because then you get loved by someone who really likes YOU! The way you really are. Then it's true love...

That doesn't mean you can't change! And change yourself to what you want to be.

So state your purpose before listening to the tapes, like who do you want to become, what do you want etc. AFTERWARDS then just BE YOURSELF!!!

So when you are together with her then: What do you want to do together with her? What do you think of things? Also ask her, what she think of things etc.

A tip when you date is "asking what attitudes she has to several subjects (friends, love, sex etc.), instead of asking and talking about material ideas like cars, tennis, shoes etc.". Then if you find out you really have some commen interests then why not talk about that? Play with it, to get her interested in you. To get a girl is game. Only a game, and both should think it's fun. Again woman quite like to play hard to get. Not sleeping with a quy the first night. Play with it. Even if it gets hard. Still play with it. Keep on keeping on....

But how is she really???????

Try to put up the good things against the bad things. How is she? Is she playing with you? I mean you have almost tried to get her over a year now.

So promise yourself ONE thing from now on: Keep your selfesteem this time!! Be what you really want to be. Be yourself!! Because it's so essential to what you want get in life. Actually, if you get up on the social pyramid. Then really really beautiful woman, who is really beautiful both on the inside and on the outside, who really looks for a MAN with a big M (psycologically). This man is a man who has his selfesteem. He knows what he wants. And sometimes he even don't care about what the woman thinks . And it turns her on . Why?*s*

But anyway, to have selfesteem is essential. A man with high selfesteem is more relaxed, happy, has peace, higher willpower (turns women on ), more positive, psycological stronger, more in charge of the situation..

Just go for it...*g*
Just some ideas here. Hope some of them can help you. Have a million more. Just go for it!... And play with it.

Also, use Instantaneous Magnetism and model yourself after...CHARLTON HESTON!!! Who is more the man than Mr. Heston? Just remember that scene in the "Ten Commandments" when all the women see him and they scream, "Oh WOW! It's a man!!!" Imagine that being YOU!!!!

[This message has been edited by Paul Watts (edited April 18, 2002).]

quote:
Originally posted by InTheFlow:
Let's say you are a great guy. Woman REEEALLY look up to you. Then you see a woman, who looks like she is really desparate, she wants you and she has low selfesteem. She tries for a long period of time to get you by changing the way she is. Are you attracted to that?

I had to chuckle when I read this part of your post. I've been doing this repeatedly for some time. I go to GREAT lengths. I've changed my wardrobe, vascillate over what to wear when I think I'll see her. Lost over 65 pounds to get her attention (didn't work, but I've kept the weight off), and work on my tan.

All this, then she doesn't even show up! I think she would like me if she would just allow herself to enter my circle and get to know the real me. For instance, there was a group picnic this weekend and as usual I went through all the rituals I mentioned earlier. A picnic would have been a great way for her to see me as I am. I was actually the one who planned the picnic, cooked for everyone, and played with the children. Her daughter is the most important person in her life, so I think that interacting with children could have made an impact. I even "rescued" a little girl who was too afraid to come down after climbing too high.

All this to say... she wasn't there. That seems to be the way it always goes.

[This message has been edited by Glenwood (edited April 22, 2002).]

Who's the real you? Are you easy to find? Have you found him yet?

Hmmm, I'm all about self-change. However, I go from Archetype to type.

This is going to get a little occult, so please forgive me for stepping on anyone's beliefs. When I discovered that astrology could give accurate character analysis, I fell in love. I knew I wanted to love, and to be loved by, a Capricorn woman. (Now is the time where every Capricorn woman reading this goes "why?"). So, I spent a great deal of time trying to make myself attractive to the archetype. (Although not enough time, in my opinion).

The problem with the whole "real you" thing is that a person is a verb, not a noun. An individual is defined more by his actions and his memories than by his atoms. After all, our cells are completely replaced every seven years or so. Manifest your highest good. In my case, I know my highest good is to be the ideal husband - it is a genuine Spiritual Calling.

On one hand, I am trying to tell you to [b]keep on Becoming[/b}. Your process-of-becoming (Xeper) is what makes you the "real you." On the other hand, your Xepher might be misspent at this particular woman. I do not know, and I refuse to even hazard a judgement.

I agree. Know your calling. Manifest highest good. Live on purpose. Then no need to worry about real self or if a particular person will find you. The right person(s) will be attracted to you and find you.

Release, Notice, Respond, Witness.

Hmm... there could maybe be many explanations to why she was not at you're picnic. Had she said why? Why not go ask her?? Make some action.. find out something. Cut right into the bone! I would have done that to find out how a person was (and also be aware of not hurting her by doing that).

Find out how she is. Also check her selfesteem.

If she is closed, and just says "don't know", then I would not trust that woman, because she is not as open, as you. (Also for your own protection). And there might be a reason for this. Maybe she is afraid of commitment, get hurt (be open), because some other guy in her past really really hurt her.

For many women one very important thing is, that they have to feel good about being together with a man (a tip here: Be open). And a man should really fascinate a woman in some way. So if a man is like a famous tennisplayer, actor, or something different, like not "normal", then you have quite good chances of choosing the woman you want. Men like that are men, who knows what they want. They have self-esteem, knowing what they want. Dooing goood ..

So what's special about you? What about you can fascinate a woman do you think? And most important of ALL is: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Like sex, same interests, anything you think is important. Maybe it's special in sex! Or in love somehow. Like an open relaionship.. Know what you REALLY REALLY want in a relationship. What things must be in a relationship before you want one.

What about your girl, who you really want. What is it about her that fascinates you, since you want her so much. Try to put some words on that. Is it the way she is, her qualities on life, her money*g*, that she wants commitment in life, attractions (like sex, eyescolour)? Find the main top 3 things you think it's why you fall for her.

This is my opinion now: If you don't get to kissed by a girl before 3 months have passed, then dump her. Hehe.. Then it's getting too difficult I think, and love should not come after such a long time. Some people actually get married, pragnant and moving in to the same house before the first 3 weeks have passed*g*..

So instead of keeping getting that girl, release.. and notice in what other ways you can get a girl like that, who has these top 3 qualities, which are important to you in a ralationship. Go on dating!! Have some fun, and on the same time, self-esteem . Not ignore the girl you are in love with, still try to get her to know better. What she thinks of you etc., how she is.

Beaware of women with low selfesteem!! They can be a pain in the ass! I talk from experience!! . They psycologically drain you from energies. And that's on an unconscious level also. They really want men who are careful to her. (Because they don't get so much love from them selves - they have low self esteem). So they often lie about how they are in the first place, like sex, how happy they are etc. (because they don't think, they are so much worth). Some good questions to ask her is: "What do you think about yourself? Do you really like yourself?". Find out if she has high self esteem on most areas of her life..

What about being atracted to each other? There people really differs I think. Some women like fat men, others like slim men, others greeneyed men etc. The chemistry also have to be there I think..

Anyway... Many people say, real love is something you not should search for, because real love will come to you. And others say, if you want something, you have to search for it, pray for it etc.. And quite many get really happy on a lifetime when finding each others on dates..

Well.. play with it .

I saw her again tonight and told her that I wish she could have been at the picnic last week. She just said "thank you." I've been using the Self-Esteem Supercharger and Relationship tapes, but it's at a point where just seeing her depresses me.

IN THE FLOW: Top 3 things?

1) We have similar life goals and we both enjoy music. She's sooooo talented. I've compared her to Christina Aguilara.
2) She's just so darned sweet.
3) She has that intangible "certain something" that sets her apart from all the others... and yes I'm definitely physically attracted to her. She might not win any beauty contests or make it in the pages of Playboy, but she's a winner in my book.
4) She's a great mom. She takes good care of her daughter and takes care of herself, by standing up to life's struggles.

You have a lot of good suggestions. I wish I could get to the point where I could just let it go as you suggest. That's been the sticking point. I would like to either be able to move to the next level or just get to the point where I can forget about her. So far, both have been elusive for me. You mentioned Release, so I'm sure you're referring to Natural Brilliance. I just ordered it, so maybe it will help.

KAIDEN: You seem to have been really focused on your goals. Both knowing what you wanted and how to get there. Now that I've ordered Natural Brilliance, I was wondering what statements you used since you said that NB was good for "relationship procurement and development". Additionally, if Xeper is the process of becoming, what is Xepher?

HEL: Socrates said "know thyself". I know who I am, but getting others to know is what I'm after.

Well...you might also try pheromones with
those paraliminals...combination effect might be significant...

A good place to buy pheromes: http://www.love-scent.com

Ps. I'd recommend Scent of Eros

woohoo a fellow phero user

hey jan do you post on the love-scent forum?
xeu

I've tried everything I know to do, and yes that includes pheremones and Scent of Eros. I've noticed that some people are friendlier with SOE, but no luck with any of the others I've tried. It doesn't seem to have any effect on the intended recipient.

www.pickupguide.com/layguide nlp techniqes... there was a free site for the info.

You really got to ask yourself... isn't it about time you freed yourself and found someone equally special as her but wanting you. If you come across in person 1/2 as desperate as you seem here it's no wonder she keeps you at arms lenght. You also stated that she likes the same things as you etc... well maybe shes looking for contrast... not an echo of herself. I only think you should look at the above site to see what you are doing that might be turning her off so you can at least stop doing that. If you win her by manipulation you'll pay for it... what goes around comes around.

I can only say if she causes you so much pain now... thats nothing to what she can do if she became your lover do you really want to give your power over?.

Alex

[quote]Additionally, if Xeper is the process of becoming, what is Xepher?[quote]

Unfortunately, a typo. I believe both are valid transliterations of the Egyptian term. The X is an almost-but-not-quite "K" and the P or PH is an almost-but-not-quite "Really Hard F" sound.

Hey, if you ever need serious mojo here, then try "The Secret Science at Work" by Max Freedom Long. The upside is that you'll be bypassing the normal chanels of communication and doing Theurgy ("Miracle Working"). The downside is that you'll be making a decision for someone else, and that may be counter productive to your own relationship values. Book's about $16, but you might be able to get it at the library. It's been in print since the early 30's or so.

Kaiden Theurgy? Did you use anything like this in your relationship? I read the sample pages on Amazon.com and it sounds like a dark spiritual path. Entering into the domain of the spiritual realm as the sample pages suggest is something I prefer not to approach.

quote:
Originally posted by AlexK:
isn't it about time you freed yourself and found someone equally special as her but wanting you.

I agree with you 100 percent! I'd LOVE to free myself. One way or another I'm looking for relief. Finding that relief is what brought me to paraliminals and this forum.

I'm actually pretty careful around her and if anything I try to appear casual - not really talking about anything major. I guess it's possible that by trying to appear casual, I'm really sending signals to the contrary. I hope not.

I've heard of the website you mentioned. Maybe it's time to look into it.

I had a similar difficulty a long time ago. Basically the remedy was out of sight, out of mind.

Maybe "Calm and Cool" isn't the way to go. I look for passion in a person, and I'm not talking about lust.

Figure out what she wants in a man, and if you can be that sort of person without comprimising yourself, then you've got everything you need.

[QUOTE]Theurgy? Did you use anything like this in your relationship?[\QUOTE]

Both my s/o and myself are practicing Theurgists. Well, technically I'm practicing, and she's already performing. Due to her degree of ability, I've used all the discresionary power at my disposal to nominate her as co-director (along with myself) of the Temple of Lylyth.

[This message has been edited by Kaiden (edited May 03, 2002).]

Yeah, I am stuck in the same situation as Glen. I have tunnel vision for my X. It is so true is she causes you pain right now when everything is just a wish, when you actually do get your wish the pain she will cause can throw you into a deep depression. Speaking from experience. Love must be free. All the techniques to woo her in your direction are just at the surface. What happens when they change or their gone. What do I mean? What if you get into an accident and end up with scars on your face or something, or what if you gained weight. Would she stay with you for you or would she bail being that what turned her on is changed. When you spend a great deal of your time cattering to someone else, trying to win her over, you'll spend the rest of your life convincing her that you are what she wants. Let her find her own path, if it is you then great. It is much better when a women can freely love you and you don't have to always try to be her spotlight.

One thing that I want to know is attracting new partners through paraliminals, for example prosperity. If I wanted to attract a new partner through prosperity would I study things I like in other women and think about that during my listening. Be it beauty, resevedness, confidence. What if I look at a playboy and focus on the abundance of beautiful inteligent women there are? Just searching for some answers to a technique that will work to get me out of my tunnel vision.

quote:
Originally posted by namrekca7:
When you spend a great deal of your time cattering to someone else, trying to win her over, you'll spend the rest of your life convincing her that you are what she wants.

As true as that is, I believe there is something to be said for Art and Strategy. It may mean picking up a handful of Mars & Venus books, or it may mean looking towards Mars and Venus for astrological advice.

Your example of Playboy is unrealistic, because people don't actually look like that. Also, although it is useful to define physical charactistics when searching for one's ideal mate, a focus on these to the exclusion of the other qualities of the person, and more importantly the values of the relationship is to invite sorrow.

Upon a recent session with Self-Esteem Supercharger within minutes I was back to self-loathing. Nothing seems to be working except that I haven't seen her in about 3 weeks. During that time I continued to think about her and go about my routine with eternal hope, but since she wasn't around to reject me, the intensity was correspondingly minimized.

After reading the "Wannabe", "How Do You Attract New Love", and "Alone Alone Alone" posts, and considering my own saga, it would appear that we need a new paraliminal - Relationships: What to do when they don't want you.

[This message has been edited by Glenwood (edited May 19, 2002).]

Wow. I needed to see this post.

I'm in a similar situation with a friend of mine.I know that my feelings of "not being his type" are ruining this for me.

I also get absolutely tongue-tied as well, even though that is something that has never happened to me.

I really appreciate all the suggestions, I'm going to start working more serious with my Natural Brilliance as well as the paraliminals suggested.

It's interesting, someone mentioned using Personal Magnetism on someone that you'd like to be like, and this guy is what I'd like to be. I'm not sure what that says, but his traits are awesome and I'd love to be able to incorporate them into my life. To what end, I do not know. I just know that the way he is, is how I am not. He is confident, assured, aware and full of life. I want those things in my life .. I just worry about using something like Personal Magnetism on the person I actually want to be with.

Thanks for being so honest and willing to share, it is really appreciated.

Tracey~

To Glenwood and Tracey; I would strongly suggest reading Are you the one for me, Knowing who's right & avoiding who is wrong by Barbara De Anglelis. This book has been a complete epiphany for me. I was in a similar situation as the two of you. I got my wish, and she walked all over me. I lost my sense of self. I compromised alot in order to make it work. When all it was overblown infatuation, for the both of us. If you can avoid wasting energy and time in a relationship that is going to go nowhere, or hurt you in the end then do it, because it is so hard to pick up the pieces and remain tougher than leather, because while your skin becomes like jello your heart becomes callous like leather from allowing yourself to fall into a fantacy and be so decieved.

When I was a kid, a friend of mine had a dog that just had some puppies and he said I could have one. I played with it all day and took it home with me. When my dad found out about it, he said that I couldn't have it and that I would have to take it back. I wanted that dog so bad. Heck I had even made up my mind that it was my dog already. I had a name for him and everything! I cried and threw a tantrum, but to no avail. My puppy still had to go back. Once he was gone, all I did was mope around the house all week long. I wanted that dog so bad.

Then one day, my dad brought home a Golden Retriever puppy just for me. I was ecstatic! He became my best friend in the world. I'd come home from school and he'd be there waiting for me at the door with his tail wagging and ready to do anything I wanted. All the other kids in the neighborhood liked him too. He kind of became the "neighborhood dog". He loved to play frisbee and would tag along with us on bike rides. It seemed like he was always there right by my side.

I never had a better friend than that first dog of mine. He was my constant companion for so many years. Looking back, I asked my dad why he wouldn't let me have the dog I brought home that day but then turned right around and brought home another dog the very next week? He said "I never wanted to keep you from having a dog, son. I wanted you to be happy. You may not have known it then but you see, the dog you brought home was a Pit Bull."

It's kind of funny how once I got another dog, I completely forgot about the one I thought I wanted.

[This message has been edited by Texas Bob (edited May 23, 2002).]

I can't say enough how much I appreciate the support on this forum. I'm equally glad to see that others are getting help from this post as well. You guys are great!

Well, she's far from being a "Pit Bull", but finding another that would make me forget all about her would be great! I know I've been emotionally unavailable for anyone else because I've been so wrapped up in her.

Lately I've been spending just about ALL of my free time with the paraliminals: Self-Esteem Supercharger, Personal Magnetism, and Relationships. I've added Silva and have attempted "subjective communication" as well. As InTheFLow suggested I continue to listen to Self-Esteem supercharger daily. For now it continues to be a struggle.

Since she just hasn't been around as much, I'm beginning to get a little more clarity.
I'm still trying to work through this, and wonder if adding something like the Sedona method or even Centerpointe to the arsenal would help. I heard that it's supposed to be good for getting control of emotions.

Hi Glenwood,

I've felt similar emotions to you Glenwood. It's almost like a crazy desperation and that desperation is very painful. One way out of this desperation is to realize the abundance available to you, and that you do have what you need to satisfy your soul. Your mind is in contrast with your soul and telling you, you live in a circumstance of lack. This is very painful for your soul. As you strive for what you need it runs, because your soul has other plans. Your other than conscious mind knows how to connect with your soul and your true values, this is where tapes like Prosperity come in. Create an abundance of your true values in your mind and you will find complete satisfaction. Focus on what your soul needs and create more of it in your life. Connect with God and you will be far less desperate. You can use the Paraliminal tapes to draw you nearer to your true-self, when you have your true-self you have everything you need. Relationships that you draw to yourself will then be out of desire for expansion and not need. Try to focus on your highest spiritual values, spiritual forces can be good too. Use the Paraliminals for your highest good, focus on creating love within yourself, so that you function out of abundance. Love is endless, fear is very limiting.

All the best for your spiritual journey.
Godspeed!

Dear Glenwood,

I would highly recommend you read - How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard Halpern. What I find amazing about your original post is, she's made it pretty clear she's not interested in you, but still you said - "I have to decide if I should move this relationship forward or coexist without her." You have no relationship to move forward. Also, you would not be coexisting without her - co - still means together. Listen, I don't mean to be harsh - I've certainly been addicted to people as well, but it's important to see your situation for what it is - an addiction, not a real relationship.