I am currently in a time/space that I find very frustrating. My mother (age 82 and bright as a button but not the woman she used to be) has recently come to live with us. If you were to meet her, you would envy me having such an alert, intelligent, active octogenarian as a mother.

However, I find I miss my 'space', my privacy, my independence. At the same time I know she needs to be near family (she will soon occupy the house opposite ours). This sets up a major conflict in me. I understand why she is here, yet I resent it.

As if by design, the part of the ES course which unfolded next was how to raise ones vibrations, leave negativity and put poor-grade emotions behind one (using the Sedona Method). I find I am not having much success. The reason for this is I find it difficult to 'let go' of the negativity (impatience, negativity, nagging, controling behaviour, and all things ugly) because I feel JUSTIFIED in having them. This is a bad position to be in. Lose-lose rather than the win-win scenario I want to generate.

Any ideas?
A pretty evil-tempered and frustrated French Claire

Greetings to those who read me! Thank you for your time and curiosity!

I have pulled out my Sedona Method (rather than use the mini-version supplied in ES). I spent an hour releasing negative emotions and limiting beliefs while listening to my Holosync. The first session was interesting as I lots of visual flashes and distant memories surfaced.

I didn't actually feel any different (post session) and I would have said I didn't have any wins. However when I actually encountered my mother I was far calmer, able to be kind, genuine and supportive (showing interest in her activities). That really did feel like a win, as in the last three weeks I have been tied in knots of negative emotions.

I did another hour of Sedona releasing simultaneously with Holosync today and was fascinated to find that each time I released an emotion or limiting belief, I immediately felt a body sensation, which I subsequently released too. Today I did feel better and, despite a major confrontation upon meeting my mother, I felt I dealt with it much less intensely than I would have previously. The confrontation came about due to her deciding to go for me, so it was inevitable. However I reckon this releasing will really change how I present myself and how I deal with things. If I change, then the 'target' changes too, and I am hopeful that I can get our previously great relationship back on an even keel.

My aim is to spend an hour per day now on releasing anything and everything. I can use my Holosync time to lose limitations, deal with negative stuff, and now I am happy to have an opportunity to ameliorate what appeared to be an intractable problem. It will be fascinating to see where this gentle process leads me.

The body sensations were most interesting. A touch on my collarbone, a tense feeling in my abdomen, a restriction around my lower belly as if I were wearing a corset, an ache in my heel..... each disappeared upon releasing. However it brings my focus back to my developing awareness that my real Self is non-verbal, visual yes, and now perceptual, but silent. I liked this.

Any feedback or thoughts, anyone?
Happy ES,
French Claire (again - hope I'm not broing you all!)

Maybe get your mother to do the Sedona program! If she releases, she will reduce having a go at you so often.

I think you release more effectively if you are in alpha or theta brainwaves. This is why Paraliminals have had Holosync technology for a while now.

Hi There
I like the Sedona Method too. Another method that I usually find always works for me when I'm feeling really negative and "victimized" in some way is to go to my gratefulness journal. For me, I've found that it is not possible to be in a negative mood when I'm in a place of feeling truly grateful for my life.
Love reading all your posts. I am going slowly through the course at this time.
Pansy

Dear Pansy and Uniquesoul,
Thank you for your personal and helpful reactions. People may wonder why I am so busy 'dumping my stuff' on these threads..... it is because it is highly recommended in ES to share the stuff with someone, and as I live in France and my French is not yet at a sufficient level to go into fine nuances.... well whoever is out there gets the spinoff of my inner explorations.

Pansy, great, you like Sedona.... do you want to do any one-to-one sharing on this? I know there is a way of connecting directly (and privately) with each other.

Uniquesoul, I agree with your alpha/theta comments. I find the combination of Sedona while Holosyncing greatly magnifies the Holosync experience. I am quite trancy at times and my mind is calm and focused.

I am a novice at Sedona but am now fully prepared to do what it takes to get to where I want to be (see my Breakthrough Goal on another thread). As I need to raise my vibrations and lose negativity (actually I would consider myself an upbeat, positive person, but I am doing the cleaning-out-the-[censored] exercises anyway), I am spending the next weeks RELEASING IT ALL.

If Lester Levinson can lose all his fatal ailments, change his personality type, and become magnetically, majestically happy just through RELEASING, then, logically, so can I. I guess with a fatal-coronary pending his motivation may have been greater than mine.... however, I feel this is the right thing for me at this time.

Today was day three. I released in tune to Holosync for 90 minutes. This morning I didn't have any particular negativity flowing around that I could locate, so I worked for 30 mins. on physical/health aspects that I would like to improve (= losing limitations). I want to lose the kink in my neck and rounded shoulders and stop walking around looking at the ground (causes: bad posture, family habit, and lack of attention to dealing with it). After a while I had loads and loads of varying sensations of weights on my chest. One by one I released them. Sadness, being alone, lost, chest infections, childhood, sitting on an ant's nest, being abandoned, being left out..... all sorts of distant memories and sensations came to mind. I released all of them.

I also got a strong message to do body-building exercises for my upper body to make those muscles strong and my contours perfect.... easy to do as we have all the equipment here in the house.

That's all for now folks.
Next installment tomorrow.
(This feels a bit like reality TV - ghastly, my apologies to all for inflicting my stuff. I hope it benefits someone somewhere.)
All the very best from French Claire, who is walking a bit taller today and has released 90 minutes worth of negative gunk.

Ahh.... and a special bonus for me. Found a loving note on the kitchen table this morning from Mum. See, if I change, so does she. It's working and just after three sessions.

Good that your Mum has also shifted. It's interesting you got the hint about doing physical exercise. It could also help to release.

Day 4 of Losing my Shadows.
I released using the Sedona Method while piping 90 mins of Holosync into each ear. This makes my Holosync experience much stronger and I wish I had thought of doing work on myself while I Holosync a lot earlier. Much more time efficient.

Released any negativity I could locate around my mother. I am coming to appreciate that I have difficulty allowing her to lose her mental powers, her loss of memory irritates me, her child-like behaviours, etc. Now I understand my negativity is based in my not wanting her to regress. She is not the person she used to be. In the past four days (since start of Releasing) our relationship has become more gentle and there is little friction. So, French Claire, accept the process works as easily and as fast as that!

I then worked on my own processes. I released anything and everything that came to mind that limited my success. Lots of mild beliefs came up like "I shouldn't have it", "I can't have it". I don't feel that these are actually my own beliefs but are inherited from my environment - e.g. the input of others. They were easy to let go. I notice I am more skilled at releasing now. I can hone in on the feeling (or body sensation), isolate it, fully experience it, and then use the three remaining steps to release it. Today most beliefs or limitations were linked to (followed by) emotions (rather than to physical sensations as yesterday). I released the emotions too - mostly sadness, twice tearfulness, once feeling alone.

Hale Dwoskin's promise that "What you release is gone for good" reverberates around my being, and I feel I am creating change within. Sedona (for me) is subtle, gentle. However it feels like the right step at this time.

I am surprised that there is this core of sadness in me. I am upbeat and positive in my daily life, yet this sadness recurs during Sedona releasing. So I accept it is there. It is a part of me though I don't yet understand why.

Who knows where this adventure will bring me?
French Claire

Day 5 - and yet more change and deeper understanding.
I noticed yesterday that my mouth was curved down in a scowl (this is definitely not me as I am an upbeat happy person). So realised that what I focus on is what I get. I have been focusing on pretty down-beat stuff and my face and emotions reflect that. Time to ease up on the pain-induced-by-losing-mother-to-old-age stuff.

Today I worked on Chapter 11 of Sedona book, that is Cleaning Up. I no longer want to spend 90 mins. releasing on Mum and my issues around her, more like a quick daily release of accumulated anger, irritation, intolerance, judgement and then on to more ES orientated things.

The Clean Up was just perfect. I found a huge well of genuine grief. I accept that the strong, vibrant woman is gone. What currently replaces my mother is a frail 82 year old who is losing all her powers, the ability to concentrate, the ability to remember, the ability to write (she is still a journalist), the ability to walk, the ability to physically work in her garden.

I tried successfully to complete most of the steps in the Clean Up process. Gained thereby considerable insights. Didn't like what I saw and found some aspects difficult to accept in the now. However I realise I am not a monster. I am behaving like this because I am resisting the negative spiral I see in her. I also accept that it is pointless to resist - this is the cause of my pain and my being rough on her. I was unable to let go (release) everything, but feel this is OK. Such a major loss as losing one's beloved and respected mother is not achieved in one brief session.

I am sad. That is human. Better to release slowly and appreciate what is left of her and be at her side in compassion and supportively. Make the most of the now - that is the lesson.

I subsequently turned my attention to the six daily disciplines to achieve Effortless Success. There is so much information in one brief interview - Jack outlines the six disciplines FAST - so I decided to use my iPod and write the extract down. Now I have a written blueprint for how to shape, live and review my success-journey-days.

This may be the last installment in this thread. Did it benefit anyone or is it pure egotistical meandering that is better done in a private journal?

PS I accompanied my dad on his road to death. Left my great and superbly paid job and Germany to spend a year at his bedside in Ireland, post stroke. It is awful/amazing to realise that my mother has sold her house in Ireland and come to live here (in France), so I can accompany her on her final journey. It feels like a burden and very sad. The time is here. It is now. How will I cope yet again? The key is to stay in the now, I think.

Dear French Claire,
I hear so much of what you are saying about dealing with a declining mother. My sister has been dealing with many of the same issues over the last two and a half years in which she has been being care-taker for our now 88-year-old mother. It has been my opportunity to be one of her sounding boards and supports. Much of what you said in your posts has brought more understanding and clarity to the things I have been sensing in her.
At various times I have spent some time working with the declining elderly both as a Nurse's Aide and as an RN and I find I can see my mother sometimes simply as a frail old lady in need of the same kind of support as many other frail old ladies. Because I know more of where she has come from, perhaps I can offer more individualized support to her than I have to others, though. My sister, however, still sees our mother first as the person she used to be - even as the mother she was in our childhood - and responds on a level that does not bring her effectively into the present relationship.
If I may offer an observation and a suggestion -?
Observation: What a compliment your mother has offered to you that she has turned to you in her need for support in her last days! How she must trust you - presumably from having seen you offer the necessary support to your father in his time of need!
Suggestion - You have been focusing for a while now on 'releasing negativity' relating to your (remembered vs. present) relationship with your mother - and with considerable success. Since we are working with the Law of Attraction, perhaps the next step might be to turn your focus towards 'attracting positivity' with regard to your (current and projected future) relationship with your mother?
From what you have said, I have confidence that you will have a wonderful and successful experience as you manage this stage of both of your lives.
May you create a lovely day!
Margaret Ida

Dear Margaret Ida,
I didn't reply until now because I needed time to absorb your comments re my mother. You are absolutely right. 100% correct. Until a few days ago I viewed my mother as she was (alert, a mother, dynamic, intelligent, determined, someone I totally admired).

When I started releasing (via Sedona method), I felt overcome by waves of sadness. I started to understand that what I was feeling was GRIEF. Grief, why grief? Thanks to more releasing and to a significant extent due to your message, I have finally understood that I have actually lost my mother. The person that was simply no longer exists. Only people very close to her can sense the difference in her - others perceive her as unchanged - I however, know and now accept that that person has departed.

For me, the good news is I can now begin to relate to her as a new and different person. Suddenly those traits that irritated the hell out of me (vagueness, falling asleep while I talk to her, living in the moment)feel OK as I relate to a different person (the one she has become). I find new levels of patience and a new ability to communicate.

Share this with your sister. I can tell you that this has been a fiercely painful path. I wholly understand how physically and mentally painful RESISTANCE can be. It hurts like hell. I am grateful to you and to the Sedona Method for assisting me in letting go that which I no longer have anyway. I made room for someone new and that feels more like what I can handle.
Warmest greetings,
Frernch Claire

I believe all people around us change with time, particularly our kids, if we have any. So I believe the same procedure of release can be applied to any person around us as they change through life.

Dear French Claire,
I just read this subject and have been emotionally touched. I lost my Mother this year, on March 23rd. She had full blown Alzheimers and I was angry. I found it difficult to call her and finally stopped when the nurse said she was talking to someone else. I could hear her. This still hurts. I didn't handle this issue well at all. I had flown to California the year before in February to visit her before she could no longer live with my sister. She had begged me to come live with me. I had to tell her I was not able to help her like my sister could. Unfortunately this was true at the time, even now. My growth is phenomenol right now, but time heals. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I am not even sure I will actually send it. I have felt such guilt, such anger, such sadness, and such grief. I still resent that I could not talk to my Mother. I could always make her laugh and she had been a tremendous support to me in the last 16 years or so. I miss her love and encouragement. I missed being able to encourage her, to cause her to laugh, and yes, to be a confidante when she was angry or felt neglected by my sister. By support I mean emotional and spiritual support. I have had no one else until now. I am having a full-blown sobbing experience. I have you as a partner now and this forum as support. This ES Program is fabulous for me.
I believe what I am trying to share here is that all these emotions, as horrible as they are, are common. You have taken on that which I couldn't. I do not want to be around any Alzheimer or whatever names they called it on the way there. It is a heart breaking experience and I applaud you for sharing it so bravely. When Mom passed on I thought I would just celebrate her release. Instead I have had extreme grief and sadness, which totally surprised me as I thought I had already worked through these during the past year. I believe you are farther along than I was at that time. Everyone I knew thought I should just let it go. There wasn't any understanding and I sure did need some then.
I have done a lot of releasing while writing this. There is still a lot of sadness and hurt I'm finding right now that have been hidden. I miss my Mom now that she is gone, but I missed her more when she was here, yet I couldn't communicate with her. I support you, Claire, in this situation. May you find yourself surrounded with love and held up by your natural self; and the help of this forum, and of course my support.

Hi there Successful,
This is a difficult subject for anyone who experiences the decline of a parent. In the more recent past I have witnessed friends of mine struggling to come to terms with losing a parent, and it seems to be a long process.

In my case I seem to have ongoing difficulties recognising the changes that are taking place within my mother. I somehow seem to have a fixed picture of her (as she was in her prime). When evidence of age appears, I go into denial (that is I get irritated with her behaviour and I try to get her to alter it), or I treat her as she used to be (fully functional) and am unable to accept she behaves differently, or I suddenly get a glimpse of her as she is (getting more and more forgetful, startle reflexes like a baby with arms spread wide and huge fright, or irrational claims like she's never seen/eaten such-and-such even though we had it the day before). Just yesterday I suddenly realised that her hearing has deteriorated.... perhaps that is why she often asks the same thing a few times over.... maybe she doesn't hear us? Even her facial expression has changed. As a result I don't recognise the person that was.

I kind and loving friend that I have here in France went through the same thing six years ago. Her advice has been invaluable. She says that the person my mother was has gone. That one of the most difficult for any adult to do is to parent their own parents (and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I baulk and twist and turn and deny and avoid.... anything not to have to do her thinking for her!). She advised me to be endlessly kind and patient because mother's time is short, and when the parent has died, the shame, guilt and regrets set in. Only for it to be too late to make any changes. With all this advice ringing around in my head, I try to parent her, not to criticise her, to support and to be loving. However I find this almost impossible. Inside I often feel revulsion at her inability to concentrate, to complete tasks, to focus, the endless repetition of stories tries my patience. All at a time when my soul cries out to focus on the positive.

The only tool I know of that actually helps is releasing via Sedona Method. I find I can just let it float away and dissolve. This makes me kinder and feel better in myself. However the effect is short term, so I have to keep releasing.

And then she tells me how happy she is to be with us, how she loves living in France (she speaks no French), how much better she feels..... and I feel little short of a monster. Why can't I just adapt to the deterioration and enjoy what I have of her?

She is/was an outstanding person. At age 82 she still works as a journalist.

Every blessing
French Claire

Dear French Claire,

I can't thank you enough for sharing your exact feelings with me. I didn't realize how much healing I still have to do. I too, did much releasing according to Lester. It seems that this mind-boggling situation isn't in any of the books. I applaud what you are doing. I personally think that there are consistently so many different things assaulting your conscious mind, that this calls for constant releasing. Funny, I never thought of that while I was in the midst of it.
I have read that this type of situation is growing; and that people don't know how to deal with it. I know I tried to get in a club, but the times didn't coincide with my work schedule. It does change your whole life perspective. I am grappling with my own emotions as I write this. I hope it makes some sense. Have to get ready for work.
I am here for you at any time, such as it may be. I don't feel like I'm much of a support here. This subject needs to come out in the open and be explored, so we can handle it as best as possible. Thanks for writing. You are wonderful!