I am having difficulty discerning if something is a situation I have to accept or if it is one I can change. Sometimes choosing to change the situation feels empowering and possible but often, it feels like I am controlling, and I am afraid I am just forcing and resisting the flow. However, I am also having difficulty discerning between genuine flow and inertia -- I am afraid that going with the flow is just complacency in disguise. I am feeling confused in both directions. Do you have any advice on what can help with this discernment and trusting myself and what I am perceiving?

Hi Zarska!

I would suggest welcoming the situation as it is. When you're not resisting something, you release your focus on it and can see the infinite possibilities that surround it. From this open space, you are more readily able to discern what would be most effective and appropriate.

I understand your quandary, because I used to connect acceptance with condoning, but I find that is generally not the case at all. Accepting things as they are stops the constant second guessing and allows you to release the barbs that are keeping you stuck. This, in turn, creates clarity about what is actually going on and what would be the most effective and purposeful response. The shift from reactive to purposefully, clearly and positively proactive is huge!

All the best to you!
Wendy Greer

Thank you, Wendy! That simple reminder already helped to shift my perspective and get my mind out of the constant loop. I've been doing the practice of welcoming with my emotions but I somehow didn't quite make the connection to trying it with the situations themselves...