loverofcats1948
Please don't feel dismayed, because you are not alone. Almost every other person on the face of this earth has created an extraordinary amount of difficulties for themselves, in some fashion or another. You and I just happened to be one of those many people. But guess what? We no longer fit that profile! This is because once you know the truth about it, and you put that truth into action by faith, you are free.
Have you listened to the "Self-Esteem Supercharger" and "Anxiety-Free" Paraliminals? These two tapes can be used for practically any challenge, because wherever there is despair and great difficulty, you will find fear and uncertainty. The self-esteem tape brings out reasons for, and promotes confidence, or certainty in yourself. The anxiety tape serves to guide you onto the right track of thinking, by helping you to find your strengths and "anchoring" them for future use, so that fear can no longer lay claim over you. And by all means, make sure you get "Personal Genius"! This will open up your abilities in ways that you never realized would exist.
And it's never too late for change! A negative outcome is never written in stone as the final result, because as human beings, we can alter that outcome by simply re-adjusting the way we think, behave, and believe. This miraculous transformation can happen, even at the last moment of life, as it alters the course of one's fate, and renews their lease on life. Life is a never-ending cycle of change, so where there is life, there lies the ability for change. The only time it's too late, is when a person is already gone.
The word "believe" seems to be somewhat vague, so I prefer to call it instead, as a child would see it... as MAKING BELIEVE. Remember how we used to do that? When we "make believe", we are "acting as if" things are a certain way, or that we are a certain way. The odd thing about it is, when you do this with strong expectancy, and you take definite steps of action to demonstrate your faith in that expectation, such as PREPARING for it, then you are "making" what you "believe" manifest into the physical realm; hence, you are making believe.
I remember listening to a girl being interviewed on a television program, about her very interesting experience. She desired so very much to be married. But she wanted it to be "right", and wouldn't settle for just anyone, simply out of loneliness. So as a demonstration of faith, she went to the store and bought a pair of men's shoes. She took them home and placed them at the foot of her bed, and then asked God to send her the right man into her life, who would be perfect for her... someone to "fill" those shoes. Well, it was less than a year, I think, that she met someone who was "right", and they became happily married. But it was interesting to note that HE WORE THAT SAME EXACT SHOE SIZE that she had selected to put at the foot of her bed!
You and I have a few things in common. I could never have children, and at the age of 30 I had to have a hysterectomy. However, I discovered, loverofcats1948, that life has a way of bringing to you, that which you are lacking, so that there is really no such thing as loss. For instance, since I don't have children, my niece and I have become close, and she sees me as her second mother. And I see her as the daughter I never had. Since I no longer have older family members (like grandparents, father, etc.), life has given me friendships that serve as surrogates in those areas. I haven't run across anyone to replace my mother, so I take that as a message that I am to be my own mother, until someone comes along to fit the bill.
At this point in time, I have 4 good, close friends (1 local, 3 long-distance), although probably only one of them would honor the true meaning of what love entails. Still, I take this in stride, and allow them into my heart, and I see them as my new, re-constructed family. Fair-weather and abusive relatives abound, but blessed are we who can accept others into our lives, as we tailor our own family to suit our needs and wishes. This is what I have done. I should state that this is more than what I had, before I started learning how to really change my life, and so I know my life will improve even more, as I continue to bring out the power, love, and sound thinking which resides within me.
I have also learned how to become a whole person, without the crutch of a love-match attachment. Most people don't realize it, but if you want to attract a fulfilled, well-adjusted mate, you will have to be fulfilled and well-adjusted, yourself. Society makes the mistake of believing that one's "other half" is out there somewhere, and they can't become complete or whole, until they've united with them. I bought into that typical view as well, and even though I dated some great guys (along with some not-so-great ones), and even married, none of those relationships survived. Like most everyone else, I made the mistake of seeing romantic love as a means of filling or solving the missing pieces of my life... something to "complete" me (as if God didn't do a good enough job). Not only is this reasoning irrational, those expectations are unreasonable and unfair to the other person, and it sets you up for perpetual failure in those relationships. When a half person attracts another half person, you do not have two whole persons but only 2 half persons! Do the math, and you'll see what I mean: 1/2 + 1/2 = 1, but 1 + 1 = 2 (which equal 2 WHOLE people).
Even though "opposites attract" in the area of personality, like attracts like, in the area of CONDITION. Whatever condition you are in, that is what you will attract. We should be using this law to our advantage, instead of to our disadvantage. Rather than seeing ourselves as incomplete without a mate, if we make believe that we are lovable, desirable winners, and whole in every way, we can then cause ourselves to accept the notion, and act accordingly, with less strain and effort. "Acting as if" includes making believe with your posture, your facial expressions, they way you move, how you speak, how you dress, and how you tend to your appearance. This also means doing and participating in those things which a whole, happy, well-adjusted person would take part. Making believe, means that in your imagination and heart, and in every fiber of your being, you become it. It is your reality. As you faithfuly practice this, life will soon respond in kind, and proceed to pick up this "message" of wholeness, fill the order, and send it back to you in the form of people and occurrences which match your new reality.
In addition to those Paraliminals I mentioned in the second paragraph, locate and order the book, "The Luck Factor: Changing Your Luck, Changing Your Life - The Four Essential Principles" by Richard Wiseman. This is a joy to read, and a real eye-opener. If you follow his instructions, you will start changing "bad luck" into good luck. Get a 3-ring binder, fill it with notebook paper, and use it to do your assignments he provides for you. Get colored highlighters to mark in the book and on your notes, to make it fun. Large colored paper clips make great bookmarks, and they don't fall out. I've already read The Luck Factor once, and I liked it so much that I'm going to read it again.
Also, please get the paperback, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. This thing is a lifesaver, and you won't be able to put it down.
Next, be sure to get, and start listening to right away, the tape by Zig Ziglar, entitled, "Success and the Self-Image". Follow every single step, and you will be transformed.
One more book, I have to add, is "Psycho Cybernetics" by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. He goes into detail about the results from studies done on the process of "acting as if". He wasn't too up on what we know now, as "the other than conscious mind", so you'll have to forgive him on that part, but everything else is vitally important and very useful. He was a remarkable man, with remarkable insight and knowledge of what makes a person "tick", and ways to improve your performance. Even though it's an old book, it's still a fascinating and useful read.
The Paraliminals are essential, because they get your mind thinking in the right sequence of patterns, so that other sources can be of help. Without the Learning Strategies' products, those other things will effect limited results. Yet re-programming and educating the mind by way of Paraliminals is only the start, and should not be taken as the end-all, because you need to take hands-on, real-life ACTION STEPS, too. ("Faith without works is dead.")
So shake a leg and get out there, and do those things that are required, and have fun by making believe!
AND PLEASE EMAIL ME! Click on the little red glasses at the top of my post, and you'll see my email address.
[This message has been edited by SHEANIMA (edited September 21, 2004).]