Question about faith and false hope - 06/30/07 10:00 PM
Dear Forum
I am feeling somewhat despondent in relation to my health and my practice of SFQ, so thought I would write to ask for some guidance or suggestions. Forgive me if this is a long story.
I have studied/practised Tai Chi and Chi Kung for many years (over 20), and been doing SFQ Level 1 for almost 3 years. About 7 years ago I started developing the early symptoms of MS - tingling in hands & feet, strange nerve sensations, etc. One day I got out of a hot bath and collapsed (my legs gave way), and the nerve sensations in my right hand became more set in. After going to the doctor I was sent for an MRI scan which showed a single sclerosis on the spinal chord (MS is multiple sclerosis). My mother had MS (and died from it), so I have seen the possible implications close up. Plus, her experience has given me (strengthened by current medical belief) a strong 'imprint' that a sclerosis does not get better, and that the condition is degenerative.
Although I was not diagnosed as having MS, the doctors were not ruling out the possibility of it developing into multiple occurrences. My symptoms remained fairly stable for a couple of years after the scan, then got significantly worse about 3 1/2 years ago. The main things affected are balance and muscle fatigue - now, I can't stand up for any length of time, can't walk very far without my legs giving way, and my lower back mostly feels very collapsed. Any activity involving a level of physical strength (moving furniture, DIY etc) causes me to be wiped out for a day. This worsening prompted me to try SFQ. I practised quite steadily for about 3 months, and noticed some stabilising of my condition - and certainly an improvement emotionally.
Since then, I have maintained some level of practice, although not quite as regular - especially when I don't feel like it's going to make any difference. My condition has steadily got slightly worse. Last year I had many phone sessions from Master Lin, and also had periods of intensified help in the form of acupuncture, cranial osteopathy, shamanic healing, reiki and body harmony. All of these therapies/healings have helped for a few days, mostly emotionally - they lift my spirits, which does have a positive effect on my energy. However, I can't say that there has been any overall change in the degenerative direction the condition seems to be going.
Currently I do my SFQ practice about 2-3 times a week, and am only holding onto this by a thread of hope. I find very little motivation when there has been so little result. I have ordered the 2 new Paraliminals which appear to promise an answer to my dwindling faith.
The question I am trying to lead to here, is about false hope. All the symptoms I have experienced seem to be telling me that things will only get worse, no matter whether I practice SFQ or not. I realise that this is not a useful belief to have... but equally, I don't think it's useful to hold onto false hope and deny or be blinkered to the reality of what is occurring. I want to believe that my condition can improve (or at least not worsen), but don't want to spend my time and money 'chasing rainbows'.
Thank you for listening - and any comments, suggestions will be most welcome.
With love,
Mick
I am feeling somewhat despondent in relation to my health and my practice of SFQ, so thought I would write to ask for some guidance or suggestions. Forgive me if this is a long story.
I have studied/practised Tai Chi and Chi Kung for many years (over 20), and been doing SFQ Level 1 for almost 3 years. About 7 years ago I started developing the early symptoms of MS - tingling in hands & feet, strange nerve sensations, etc. One day I got out of a hot bath and collapsed (my legs gave way), and the nerve sensations in my right hand became more set in. After going to the doctor I was sent for an MRI scan which showed a single sclerosis on the spinal chord (MS is multiple sclerosis). My mother had MS (and died from it), so I have seen the possible implications close up. Plus, her experience has given me (strengthened by current medical belief) a strong 'imprint' that a sclerosis does not get better, and that the condition is degenerative.
Although I was not diagnosed as having MS, the doctors were not ruling out the possibility of it developing into multiple occurrences. My symptoms remained fairly stable for a couple of years after the scan, then got significantly worse about 3 1/2 years ago. The main things affected are balance and muscle fatigue - now, I can't stand up for any length of time, can't walk very far without my legs giving way, and my lower back mostly feels very collapsed. Any activity involving a level of physical strength (moving furniture, DIY etc) causes me to be wiped out for a day. This worsening prompted me to try SFQ. I practised quite steadily for about 3 months, and noticed some stabilising of my condition - and certainly an improvement emotionally.
Since then, I have maintained some level of practice, although not quite as regular - especially when I don't feel like it's going to make any difference. My condition has steadily got slightly worse. Last year I had many phone sessions from Master Lin, and also had periods of intensified help in the form of acupuncture, cranial osteopathy, shamanic healing, reiki and body harmony. All of these therapies/healings have helped for a few days, mostly emotionally - they lift my spirits, which does have a positive effect on my energy. However, I can't say that there has been any overall change in the degenerative direction the condition seems to be going.
Currently I do my SFQ practice about 2-3 times a week, and am only holding onto this by a thread of hope. I find very little motivation when there has been so little result. I have ordered the 2 new Paraliminals which appear to promise an answer to my dwindling faith.
The question I am trying to lead to here, is about false hope. All the symptoms I have experienced seem to be telling me that things will only get worse, no matter whether I practice SFQ or not. I realise that this is not a useful belief to have... but equally, I don't think it's useful to hold onto false hope and deny or be blinkered to the reality of what is occurring. I want to believe that my condition can improve (or at least not worsen), but don't want to spend my time and money 'chasing rainbows'.
Thank you for listening - and any comments, suggestions will be most welcome.
With love,
Mick