There are many here who have battled different problems, and some perhaps even heroin, although I cannot say that for certain. What I can say is that we are an accepting bunch, knowing that for each person that finds their light, the whole world then shines a bit brighter. Therefore, we each take a bit of responsibility to help everyone else that we feel able to - whether it's a kind word, a helpful instruction, or sometimes a new perspective on how to do things.
I have a friend on another forum who has been clean for 20 years now. She is a wonderful person who came through her own personal heroin hell and won - and therefore I know that you can do that too.
You have taken a good first step for yourself, in starting to learn SFQ, and as you go through the process, please know that there are many here who are willing and able to help you - and beyond that the support people at LSC are wonderful. Never feel embarrassed to ask for our help. Your heart and mind are definitely focused on your goal, and that is wonderful. You are a unique person with unique talents, and goodness only knows how many others you will be able to help as you work toward your own perfect healing.
Blessings to you,
Unis
I feel very sad for the little girl in you that is still feeling such pain and suffering from the abuse she suffered at such a young age. She needs to be released so please surrender your shame and self-hatred to the Universe - use the self-concentration meditation on CD6 - track 2 and turn all of the negative feelings in your body (name them specifically) into smoke and send them back to the universe. You weren't responsible and you can't change the fact that it happened to you. Be kind to yourself, love who you are, nurture and respect your very valuable body, and forgive the people that were responsible for your ongoing pain ( this part won't be easy - and I'm speaking from personal experience, but it is necessary).
I've heard a saying and I can't remember it exactly, but effectively it meant that we make a poison for our enemies and then we drink it ourselves- in other words they are free and we suffer the pain we intended for them. Let it be.
You can heal yourself and SFQ is the perfect tool - I look forward to watching your journey.
Love
Jetay
So to start, please feel assured that we do truly love you.
I'm not sure about the others, but I know that I don't always make the best choices. We each make choices and then it is past. What is important is Now, not the past. What choice are we going to make right now.
I know I need to show myself more kindness and love myself more, and especially forgive myself. What is done is done. My power is in my ability to form this moment. Will I use it well, or continue with habits that don't support me. Well, maybe I should just travel the path of good and better on the way to best.
I shouldn't judge myself if I find that right now I'm not best. It's just where I am. I believe that the path I'm travelling is for a purpose; even if I don't know what the purpose is I trust that it is for the best. Any judgement and lack of self-forgiveness moves me from where I am to a new place that is not better.
The problem is that every new Now offers to opportunity to travel a path that is not better. The great thing is that right after this moment passes we get another one, during which we can move along a better path, with the experience we gained along the other path.
As you open up to loving yourself and others, to forgiving yourself and others, you open yourself to an incredible power to be kind to yourself and others.
I picked love and forgiveness as the starting point, but kindness can be the starting point. They all open onto eachother.
I feel like I've started to ramble, but Scorpionsbabe I believe that you and your world can change in an instant. I warn myself and others, that looking for proof that it has happened restrict it from being. Live the life, don't waste your opportunity by spending your life looking for proof that is has changed. (Okay, now I know I'm going to far).
Scorpionsbabe, you are perfection.
Iam2
[This message has been edited by Iam2 (edited February 03, 2006).]
You have made the first step and believe me you will find support and love on this forum.
As a second step why not add your name to the weekly group healing session which you will find on this site.
We all have our problems and sometimes they seem so terrible and unsurmountable that you feel you can't do much - but that is only a perception.
You have come to SFQ for a reason and I am sure you will find your solution in its practice.
Very best wishes,
Love and light
Faune
My hair stood on end when I read your post, and I so admire your honesty and bravery.
Everyone will help you here, and in your immediate life. All you need is to open to the energy of the Universe and start to love, forgive and trust.
The path might be difficult - you might feel like you're taking one step forward and two back at times - but just keep going and you'll get there. Starting on this is a major step in the right direction.
Much love and light
Fruitbat
[This message has been edited by Fruitbat (edited February 05, 2006).]