Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access ("Jante-law, Denmark" vs. "The American Dream, USA") compared to paraliminals and PR

Hello from Denmark!

(If you're from Denmark too, then you are more than welcome to hit the reply . Interested in connections?)

I have used allmost all the paramiliminals, Photoreading, Brilliance etc. from here for more than 5 years now, to accomplish my goals. Have got some of my goals, but there is one problem, that always comes into focus:

Here ind Denmark, people are unfortunately not so positive against each other. Maybe because we have the "Jante-law", if you know what that is? It's something like: "Don't think you are more worth than everybody else". Here people often put and keep each other down. Especially when somebody tells another person about his/her success, then people very often get really really envy and jalous, instead of praising that person. People here often take this person down bacause of envy and jalousi. To put people down, is also a way of getting success! Feeling better about oneself. And after this person is down, you can focus on your own success.

I have often noticed people getting so envy about somebody's success, that they could not sleep at night, being totally angry at that person, calls this person bad things.. Incredible!! And after they have taken this person down, they start to build their own success. And people often use other people here to do that.

But why is the "janta-law" so much of infuence here in Denmark? Maybe because everybody pays so much in taxes, about 50% of your earnings! Often more. The more more you earn, the more you have to pay in taxes here.. Some even pay 65%! And even more. It's quite difficult to get rich here in Denmark because of the taxes. People here are often equal. Just take a "party night" in a danish town. And you look at people, and then ask yourself: Who is rich here?? Ehhmm nobody seem to be really rich.. All really alike.

What really is power here in Denmark is: How good you are socially! If you want an education, then you have to be really good socially. Know how to get good friends, know how to handle personal and interpersonal problems, know how to handle people, use people (else you will be used for their purpose), know how to handle your enemies (=jalouse people), take friends from others, so you get what you want etc.

And believe me. The people who has power in Denmark are really strong on social strategies. The ones, who are strong on social strategies can easily take an education (=handle other peoples problems, getting friends, avoid beeing put down), get money, house, car, get a beautiful girlfriend, having lot of friends, social status is the biggest power in Denmark. Not so much how good you are at something. They will often get put down, if they only can do that. And I have seen a lot, who got that!

So the money, if you live in Denmark, comes not only and alone from, how good you remember things, how good you remember facts, grades in school, how fast you read, how good you learn things, but more on how you handle other people as well. Else you will not survive.

*** So my question is: Are there any really good books, infos or personal learning courses on "Social Strategies". Because using paraliminals, photoreading, Decisive Action etc. are not so much on social stuff.

I have used the paraliminal tape "Relationships", and it,s really good. BUT it only tries to get along with people if problems arises in a relationship, and to be open and attract others..

In denmark you need more choises: You can be 1. friends/talking to each other/getting along --- 2. don´t care about them, accepting that they are in the same room as you, but you don't like them/do nothing to them --- 3. Fight them, play them out, want them out of your life, the matter what.

These 3 stages are all in here in Denmark. And some people just only want maybe let's say nr. 2 or nr. 3 (above), the matter how much you try to talk to them, making them feel good in your presense, trying to solve their knee-jerks. He or she just don't like/accept you, and because the Social status has so much influence in Denmark, then it has to be handle right. And then you can't ONLY use the tape "Relationships" or to solve things with, if they don't want to, the matter what.. Or the "Instantanous Personal Magnetism". Good at creating a good presence, but some maybe get envy or jalous. **** them...

To play others out, can be done (very commen in Denmark) by talking to your enemy's friends. The one's that are close to that person. That will make him/her frustrated as hell. He/she will think: Ok, who do I trust right here. Or you could make fun of this person to others.. Also very commen in Denmark, called "mobning" (-in danish). Or a thousand other things can be done...

So anybody knows about a personal learning course, good books on Social Strategies? Wan´t to be a master on that field here...

It's incredible how much I have got out of that now. Before I felt like (didn't actually really knew i felt that way, but found out) i was a "victim" infront of others, on social issues. But now i feel like "I'm in control, I'm making the move here, geting what I want". And so I got. I have a really good job, lot's of good colleagues, a leader, and a lot of beautiful women . Buut still have some social things I would like to be more in control of.

Ok, I believe, if you get a Ph.D student, then the social part plays a lot less, because there will not be som many people here. But if you want an education, then you will not survive only focusing on how easily you learn etc.

The world is beautiful, if you have the selfesteem to handle it.

LivingHigh.

'Jante-Law, Envious, Jelousy' whatever you call it, it is the same all over the world, even here in America.
The people who achieve the "American Dream",
who is a minority in the U.S., just do not pay attention to the critics.

Yes, I agree. The only way I see it is that to get yourself ahead by screwing other people over is not right. It happens everywhere, I would never do that. If you have a group of friends and you all have each others back, everything always works out, and it usually works better than if you try to use people. Many times, people you know and your friends have contacts and its not like if I do this then you do this, no one keeps track its just if you need something I'll help you out if they need something you help them out. Like I said, if you all have each others back you will be fine.

Here in Australia they call it the Tall Poppies Syndrome.

As you pointed out you want self esteem. I think you want to get to a place, within yourself, where you are at peace with yourself. A person who exhibits a sense of serenity and calm no matter what is going on around them who isn't frayed by the opinions of others finds themselves socially accepted by others.

People like to be near someone who is at ease, non judgemental (even if they do it themselves)and helps the ones who've taken a fall to get up again.

I couldn't suggest one book that you could read that will help you get the social skills you are after. However using the Self Esteem Supercharger with the goal of becoming a serene socially accepted person might help.

The Sedona Method course might also help. It teaches letting go of the need to control and paradoxly you get to control what you can. It also helps you release on relationships and money. Helping you to recogines what you can control and letting go of what you can't. The course helps you to become at ease with your life. Socially it helps you to let go wanting to control social situations and ultimately be in social situations. Genuinely enjoying them and the company of other people for what they are. People like your company when you genuinely like theirs.

Alex

LivingHigh

In my opinion you should be able to use most
of LS products to increase your social skills. eg. PR to read books about social skills, GC to copy social skills from experts in this fields, NB to overcome blocks which might hinder you right now in
social arena. And of course Paraliminals
which will greatly imnprove your social potential.

You mentioned the problem of envy or jealousness in Danemark. Well you will find
it some degree most likely in any country.
The problem is that there is a cause and effect relationship. Many victims of envy or
jealousnes or being put down by others are
at cause. They often trigger this reaction
thru bragging, approval seeking, trying to show of how good they are (and meaning how bad are the others)etc.

And who wants to be around such a person???

On the other hand I can understand your problem that there is a kind of collectiv
thinking and behaviour in your society.
I am origanlly from Germany but now live in
New Zealand.
I certainly would not like to live in Europe
again. I have been back for a family visit
many times and I too noticed what you are saying in Germany as well.

There is certainly a big difference between
countries like USA, Canda, Australia, New Zealand and perhaps others and the old world. In most of these newer countries there is not so much envy against success, wealth and achievements.

Cheers,

LivingHigh,

I just went throught the book, How to Stay Cool Calm and Collected When the Pressure is on. A stress control plan for usiness People by John Newman Copyright 1992 ISBN 0-8144-7765-8

Since I thought of your post after going through it, I think this book might help you with your endeavours of dealing with people who try to pull you down. I think chapters 10, Choose to be Mentally Tough, Emotionally in Control, and Action Oriented. Chapter 11 Choose to Communicate in a Positive, Productive, Low Stress Manner and Chapter 12 Choose to Be Spiritually Strong, Resilient, and Joyful Every Day, might be particularly interesting to you.

Chapters 1 to 5 (part one and two) help you to figure out where you are at, what your values are and what is important to you. Empowering you to make choices.

Part 3 Chapters 6 - 13 give you pointers how to apply choice in various areas of your life, the 3 chapters mentioned as well as problem solving, thinking under pressure, being full of energy, being relaxed

Part 4 Taking Action chapters 14 - 15 consists of using choices and applying them in your life.

Alex

[This message has been edited by AlexK (edited October 15, 2002).]

Fordo02--
Both High Life and you say its different in Europe than in the "new world", how? I have meet people, many my own family, that was envious or jealous of others for no reason.
Please Answer.

[This message has been edited by jonah (edited October 15, 2002).]

Hello LivingHigh, I live in Belgium.
If you talk about high taxes, well welcome to the club : as far as I know, Belgium has the highest taxes in the world (must be very close to the taxrate in Denmark).
Nevertheless, it does not keep Belgians from becoming rich. Ok, the top 100 rich people in Belgium will never become as rich as for example the top 100 American riches, which all pay far less taxes, but the overall bruto national income per person in Belgium is higher than that in the US.
As far as I know, also Denmark scores better than the US.
It means, the money is better spreaded between people.
Some people forget that there is also an enormous amount of poverty in the US. For a lot of people, the American Dream turns out to be an American Nightmare.
I don't want to say that one system is better than the other, I only want to point out that both have there advantages and disadvantages.

I also noticed that in Belgium, there was a lot of envy for people who "succeeded" in live. People were even laughing when someone started a company and the company broke down.
But in my feeling, it changed a lot in Belgium the last 10 years. People are more and more encouraged by others to start new businesses. A lot of small new high tech companies start, people who have build a succesfull company appear in the media and Belgians are more and more proud about these companies. I think it is due to the new generation of young people. Young Belgians are much more confident that they can achieve something in the world.
There is still a lot of envy and there will always be, like in all countries.
Although a lot could be better in my country, I really like the live overhere.

What I would like to say is, that whatever culture or country you live in, the most important is to focus on your own mission and let other people think whatever they think.
It's none of your business.
Focus on becoming a better person, don't focus on the fact that other people should change : that is their mission, not yours.
If you want to change your country, start with yourself by walking your talk. Your example will inspire other people or maybe your children. That's how nations change. It starts with very small changes, but the further the snowball rolls down the hill, the bigger it becomes.

By the way, I will be in Denmark (Kopenhagen) for one week in November, my first time. I'm curious about your country.

Greetings,

Patrick

jonah

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that
there is no envy on successful people in
the "New World".
There is however a lot more admiration for
successful individuals. In Europe the kids are told in school that one can achieve great success only as a group. The time where the individual self-made man made big
fortunes are over.

So there is more focussing on protection what one has and collectivist ideas.
The reason for the difference in attitude
has probably many causes and I think the main cause is a different philosophical base.

Please read Patricks response and you will
find some answers to your question as well.

Cheers,

Thanks.
About taxes: High life and Patrick both say taxes are high in their respective countries.
I thought the EU countries had a flat tax on all member countries (eg. 10 % for all nations)