Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Dating & relationships...

First, define "attractive" Chances are, when you take a look at your values, there it will be. Not neccesarily good looking- though that is important for some people.

I meet wonderfuly attractive people all the time- not usualy the "actress/model/hollywood beauty pretty" atributes, but genuinely attractive- smart funny spiritual altruistic etc. Sure, I notice brown eyed brunettes more often, but beyond that, the other stuff has to be there for me. That is the stuff that will likely still be there when the brown hair turns grey and the brown eyes are hiding behind thick lenses...

Next, let go of any outcomes. As long as you are attached to some outcome, invested in some way, there is possibly the chance to be afraid of rejection. No outcome to be attached to? No possibility to fear rejection! - and it is easy to just be you, natural.

Also remember that everyone is looking for the same things at the core- and everyone is afraid too. If someone does not respond to your flirtation, it might not even be about you....

And to add to Alex excellent list- Belief (that you can have a relationship, that you are worthwhile, etc) and Prosperity- (of opportunities to meet people, of opportunities to notice women noticing you, etc)

vitaman

Also when you have no outcome you get whatever drifts your way because you didn't decide.

Its like saying, "God, give me a wife" and you get your wife but she is everything you dispise as a person. Dishonest, unfaithful, abusive, etc. hey, no complaints right? After all, you had not outcome. But wait!! Wanting a relationship is an outcome!!! So you can't want that either. So is wanting to be happy or spiritual or anything else you can think of. You had better lock yourself up right away to avoid any outcomes. just sit in your basement and wait to see what god will bring you. Then, after you are dead you can ask why he didn't feed you to keep you alive.

The power is in your own hands. We are co-creators and there is no difference to god whether you get a fat bucktoothed woman who will spend all your money or the girl of your dreams. Both are out there and both can be had. Everything is energy and exchange of energy. Don't limit yourself out of fear. Go after what you really want without wondering anything. if you can imagine it, its out there somewhere. Draw it towards you through the Force.

Lord Shandor, I dont think I communicated what I intended- and I also think you ran with it in a very exagerated way.

Of course, we have outcomes in mind- but if you approach a woman with an attachment to that outcome, all kinds of stuff is automaticaly in the way, i.e. fear, projection, etc.

Yes, ask God for the good stuff- and notice your values, your preferences, etc. Those are your filters. I have never suggested that you "settle" for something that does not fit! Make sure it fits YOUR values- not someone elses. If you like chuby girls, great, if you have a thing for buck teeth, wonderful. If those things dont matter but sweetness does, go for it.

Yes, we are co-creators. We have a tremendous ability to proact and create. BUT I also believe that a certain amount of surrender is needed, especialy in spirituality and relationships.

vitaman

I encourage you to try to please God through your prayers, prayers with good & honest intentions will please God.

Forgive me for sounding so pious.

Pray for what you want and need and if it is good it will be answered.

I tested my internal experience when there was a possibility to approach a very attractive woman today...

Note: I've never slept around so I don't take that part flippantly, but I was testing my internal experience for improvement, for the sake of all involved.

My internal experience was that I was trying to match conditions and rules I had in my mind. So even if the lady looked at me favourably, and she was 'perfect' I had conditions and rules within myself, about me being right for her. This goes back to the post on if you mean no harm then why fear rejection.

The self-development I have to do now would either be cancelling out the conditions and rules of how I have to be, and settling for lesser conditions of how I have to be. Or it would be meeting the conditions and rules by developing my self to the point of satisfaction enough for me to feel confident to approach.

I've never wanted to have one-night stands, my conditions and rules are to me kinder to all involved.

Friendship based relationships are realistic because I can't give more than that at the moment. There are too many risks otherwise, and you know what Paul Scheele says with the Anxiety Free Paraliminal ie, to make plans to cover the conditions, or risks, which is what I'm doing.

So I think many of us have risk on the mind, not just risk to us, but risk to the woman, which in the end if we have that covered would increase our integrity.

Sorry about the shared examples, I was just trying to illustrate my internal experience of rules, conditions, and risks.

I'm assuming you're a man. It wasn't specified.

If you are, go read the following:
+ The Game by Neil Strauss
+ The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
+ Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers

Then go out and talk to a few hundred women with some cool, single guy friends until you are no longer afraid.

Also define exactly what you want in a partner, and what standards you have in relationship.

And dress sexy and smell good.

If you're still freaked out, do some internet research on "seduction"--but be careful to not make it the end all be all.

Do the above and you can make your chances of meeting an attractive woman who holds your values 100%.

I can't agree more with that.

Provided you have this mindset of unconditional love for every woman you meet- regardless of her bust size or sparkling blue eyes, you will be more attractive to everyone.

Radiate love and you get love back in return.

I think the advice on getting out there and meeting women and learning stuff about attraction "science" is pretty good.

The more chances you create for yourself to meet women the more chances you'll have of meeting someone with whom you connect.

I know people talking about praying, visualizing, and wishing mean well, but you can fantasize your whole life, wish and pray, and it will get you nothing. You just have to bite the bullet and get out there over and over.

Err on the side of doing rather than praying.

My personal bias.