Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Jealousy is eating me alive

I have a big problem with jealousy. I have made conscious efforts to stop it. It doesn't stop what I feel though. It hurts deep into my soul. I have no idea how to grow beyond this, its a feeling. How can I change the way I feel. I get so jealous that I am afraid to talk to my mate, because it will hurt. God help me. it is making me crazy.

Quite easy to handle.. Play with it..

The problem with jalousy is, that it's a negative feeling. And therefore "What you wish for somebody else, you usually track back to yourself". So it's best to wish for the best of others.

If you can wish the best, feel that this person deserve this (he/she has maybe worked hard on this subject, to get this thingy, you are jalous about), or in any context can see and FEEL it (feeling it is the most important thing), then you'll attract that to yourself..

Everytime you get jalous at someone, wish the best for him/her (and yourself too). And you will attract it back to yourself...

The worst thing you can do against somebody else, is to wish for bad things against someone else's achivements, because that will stop prosperity in your life... Wish for the best of others...

It's probably hard the first times you try it, but continue.. It will only work over time (and it will over time gets automatic. Like a normal response. Not hard at all).

L.

The best book I've seen on jealousy is "Polyamory" by Dr. Deborah Anapol.

I'm not pushing a polyamorus lovestyle, and neither is the author. After reading the book, I decided polyamory isn't for me.

One thing to note about jealousy. Although I have no insight into your situation, I have noticed that my jealousy has never been groundless. It may have contributed to my relationships ending faster, but in retrospect that's for the best. Jealousy is what I feel when you love someone, yet I do not trust them. In every case, there was a valid reason for distrust, and following my instincts at an earlier state (initiating a breakup myself, rather than clinging to hope that my jealousy is unfounded and trying to "cope" with it) would have saved me a great deal of pain.

You didn't state what you're jealous of?

One assumption is that you're jealous of perceived amorous attention towards your mate by others or by your mate towards others. If you're jealous of amorous attentions, then Kaiden's advice to explore your intuition regarding your relationship could prove valuable. Just make sure that it's not your own insecurity rearing it's ugly head to prevent you from a possible great relationship with a great person. Easier said than done I know.

The key is to be able to feel fully free to be yourself and to foster an environment that allows them to feel fully free to be themself as well. The Relationship paraliminal can help you with this. Once you're secure with yourself you can be free to truly enjoy your relationship because you're not imposing expectations on the other person that, if met, would limit them to being a lesser person than you admired them for in the first place. Meeting expectations to cater to insecurities leads to resentment and ill feelings that could either lessen or even terminate a relationship.

People can be jealous of a great many things, and jealousy is indicative of a perceived lack in your life. Jealousy can drain energy from your ability to perform in other areas of life as well. When we see others enjoying the very things we desire, need, or just don't have and wish we did, lack looms large. Lack is a poverty mindset that I must admit I too am trying to push through. Paul Scheele states that paradoxically, trying to correct lack in whatever form it may take is the very thing that keeps us in lack. In the case of a relationship, you may not think she loves you. Whether it's true or not, it causes you to speak and act in such a way that only reinforces to her and yourself that she doesn't love you. So you end up causing the very effect you were wanting to avoid.

For other types of jealousy you might consider the Prosperity paraliminal. It helps you to focus on the resources that you do have rather than dwelling on what you don't. By constantly thinking about what you don't have, your mind is essentially bombarded with negative affirmations consistently saying, "I don't have, I don't have, I don't have", over and over again. The mind just loves to try to find solutions, so it says "Ok, I need to go to work to make sure that I don't have". So what happens is that it ends up becoming a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

To change your outcomes you need to change the messages you tell yourself. The Prosperity paraliminal helps you make a mindset change so your mind can go to work for you instead of against you by helping you to focus on the possibilities rather than the limitations.

Visit the paraliminals page and review the descriptions for the Relationship and Prosperity paraliminals. Either one of them would be valuable depending on the type of jealousy you're experiencing.

All the best,
Bob

[This message has been edited by Texas Bob (edited December 06, 2002).]