Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access What Paraliminal will cure speaking like an idiot?

Well, I just had yet another annoying encounter on the telephone, because I am incompetent to speak and understand. I have to function in foreign languages. I just called a man who has a moving company where I live. I have to put many of my belongings in storage for some months. This man had come to my home a month or so ago to look at how much I had and estimate for me how much it will cost me per month to store my stuff. Additionally, he said he knew someone who might buy my piano.

Now I am ready to move, at the end of May. I had to contact this man again to ask him if I could come and measure the storage space, so that I could make sure all my stuff would fit in it. Moreover, I need to get a straight answer from him, if he knows someone who will buy my piano or not. I sent him an email in English asking about both of these things, as I knew he would not remember who I was if I called on the phone (I hate talking on the phone and I am especially flustered if I have to speak in a foreign language.) He answered my email and told me to call him.

Well, I put that phone call off for a week and just now I called him. The results were worse than what I expected. First, he didn't remember me. I started out speaking English and he was like "huh??" Then I switched to Finnish and tried to remind him who I was. I said my name and, like a fish flopping around out of water, I tried to say he had come to my home to look at my things. I didn't manage to express that. Then I mentioned the piano. He was speaking Finnish so fast, I couldn't understand. Often, after an oral interaction, I reflect on what happened and only THEN I realize what he was saying - and I think the reason I come to understand is partially understanding an essential word or two that he said, but the rest is intuition and not understanding words.

In the end, I think the man told me he will call me and come and look at my stuff - AGAIN! After I hung up and realized that and I was like "NOOOOOOO!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY COME HERE AND LOOKED AT MY STUFF." I was really frustrated and annoyed. I sent him a text message in Finnish instead, saying what I had really wanted to ask on the phone.

This sort of experience happens to me virtually EVERY time I have to speak with someone, at least in a foreign language, and the results depend on how bad I am in the language in question. And the results are infinitely worse if the conversation takes place on the phone!

I have the Ultimate You Library and Talking to Win. I need help with this thing, but I don't know which CD to use! I have been trying the Personal Genius one for improving my general skill in speaking. I know I know the words, the vocabulary (so I can WRITE what I want, but I can't say it when I need to), but my mind seems to go blank when I have something to express in the moment. This experience would suggest that the Personal Genius one is not working for me in the way I am using it.

Does anyone know how I can change this debilitating problem?

Talking to win seems like the obvious answer.

I agree with the Talking to Win recommendation.

Anxiety-Free would also be a powerful one. Conversations like those can be stressful -- having the conversation in a foreign language is much more so. The more relaxed you are about phone conversations, the more easily you can understand the other person and remember the words you know.

Here are some other ideas:

Self-esteem Supercharger

Positive Relationships / Instantaneous Personal Magnetism

Belief

New Behavior Generator

Thanks for sharing this issue with us. If you feel comfortable doing so, please let us know how things progress.

Best of luck!

Warmly,

Laura

Hi,

Thank you all for your replies.

decison2change: This problem existed long before I even knew other languages, but it has transferred to all my other foreign languages. It isn't related to my language abilities. I was always very shy and afraid to speak to people. I am much better now than I was, and I get better with every year. Now, even when I find myself floundering on the phone, I don't feel a lot of anxiety, but I don't get across what I want. I am nearly 100% sure I have all of the information and vocabulary I need in me somewhere, because I am able to write, but I don't think and process information fast enough in the moment, in any language. Naturally, though, the more confident and fluent I am in a language, the less this problem occurs.

Learning other languages and having this problem in those languages has really improved my ability to overcome this problem more and more in English (my native language), and also taken away a lot of my anxiety about spontaneous interactions with people.

daniel and laura: Since the booklet says you ought to have a specific upcoming event to apply with the CD, I was wondering how to use the Talking to Win CD for this general problem?

Rehearsing is a tool that you can use to learn effective communication. And one paraliminal that does this rather well is Sales Leap. Use this tool to go beyond. Work it with Talking to win and Self esteem super charger.

If you knew how to PhotoRead I'd suggest PhotoReading the translation dictionary and any Grammar books you can get a hold of daily for a month.

Memory Optimizer would be the Paraliminal I'd be using perhaps after reading a magazine in the language that you're trying to master. Make it one that interests you.

As for the telephone. Forget everything you learned about the art of conversations and asking open ended questions. When you call have written out what you want from the call.. e.g to come and look at storage size, Find out if they know a buyer for the piano.

Ask closed questions. Can I come and look at the Storage unit? If yes move to day and time if no. The question then to ask...Do you want my business? If no hang up. If yes... When can I look at a storage unit?

Being language challenged that becomes a necessary approach over the phone.. Get yes or no answers rather than do you think it would be possible to look at the storage unit so I can measure it ?

Best
Alex