Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Beliefs CD - Alex ... help!

Hi Alex, I really ... really ... really hope you can help me out here.

I have been struggling lately with my behaviour. I have tried to change it and it works for a while and then I revert to my old self.

I was then listening to Tony Robbins tapes and in one of his sessions; he mentions that we revert back to our old self because we need to change our "identity" and not just our behaviour. He further explains we have to change our beliefs about ourselves to form a new identity.

So I have been struggling with how to change my beliefs to the extent of adopting a new identiy? LS Beliefs comes to mind however I am not sure if this CD will help me change my identity.

Will it? Will it help me change my beliefs about myself (as in, I don't want to simply have a "can do" belief as the booklet states). Interesting, the booklet does mention about "direct self fulfilling prophecies by changing self limiting beliefs" so I think this one will do the trick but I really need A LOT OF HELP in using this tape. I don't want to simply listen by having an intention before hand.

For example - let me just tell you (why not eh?!). I want to change my identity. Right now, people think of me as "fun", "chatty", "nice to have for a friend", "dispensable", "expendable", "intelligent when they want me to be" "stupid when they want me to be" etc .

I believe this is so because in some part, that is my impression of myself. I wanted to change it so that people simply say "she is nice" - I don't care if they don't have anything good to say about me as long as they don't have anything bad to say about me either.

I am getting "desperate" now because I missed out on a potential relationship because people painted a picture of me that I know is not me - at least, not when I am alone at home or surrounded by my family. But when I am with colleagues or friends, I just turn into a people pleaser. I try too hard to get accepted and to some extent even say things just for the shock value. I hate myself after that, I come home and listen to all the paraliminals and feel better the next day. Then I am back exactly where I started.

So ... how do I change my beliefs so that I can change my identity? I need clear steps as the booklet is not giving me what I am looking for. Thank you for reading this long post and for answering of course!

Hi D2C,

I myself am dealing with change at the identity level, and, yes it's not easy!

I can't help noticing that you are missing something... What do you really think of other people? What for do you want to please them? What for is it important people don't have anything bad to say about you? Will you fall into peaces if they do say? ;-)

People usually say something bad about everybody. It' human! Why not learn some ways to deal with it. That would make it a whole lot easier to live iside your head.

Iknow it took a whole lot of courage to write your message. I can see the signs. At the same time you want something desperately and are afraid of the results of your wants. What if someone answers and writes something "bad" about you ;-) ;-) :P ? Then you would be in a pickle! But if you knew how to deal with it.

Hmmm... after writing all this... How about New Behaviour Generator and learnng ways to deal with negative responses?

My 2 €cents

[He].2s2.2p4

I wouldn't be using the Belief Paraliminal for that I'd be using Instantaneous Personal Magnetism. You've identified how you want to be percieved and that is what Instantaneous Personal Magnetism is for. It's not so much your belief you need to change but your behaviour so that it matches the identity that you want to have in 'social' situation/

As for the fact that people revert to old behaviours and patterns. Paraliminals will help you create new neural networks that give you new choices like the belief that you are a non smoker having quit smoking some 3 or more years ago. Suddenly you experience a life challenging or alarming event and you find yourself smoking again. People mistakenly believe that they have fallen off the wagon where in fact they grab the most reliable security blanket available to them in that experience. The neural pathways for dealing with such an episode was stronger for the smoker persona than the non smoker.

Research found that the old pathways don't cease to exist and die down. They just don't get as much attention as the new one and the option is always available. So don't feel badly when you seem to slip back into the old way. It means something in your environment triggered that as a better option and you have the choice if you choose to recognise that new identity that you want to have hasn't got the coping mechanisms yet and you just need to check out what triggered the leap to use the old pattern and work on that with another Paraliminal.

The belief Paraliminal is better suited to beliefs like I'm bad at organising my work, I can't learn new things, I have a terrible memory.

Reading your post I see that you are not so much trying to fix your belief but want to change other people's belief about you. You'll get further with Instantaneous Personal Magnetism for that.

Alex

IPM - really? I would have never thought of using that for what I am experiencing. Then again you both have underlined my fear of what others think of me more than my unhappiness with who I am really.

I will give it a try. I know first hand that IPM worked with me when I had gone for a job interview - maybe it is time to listen to it again.

I have also started to read "Feeling Good" by David Burns. A friend recommended it. Together, I should see some results soon.

Thank you! Oxygen and Alex!
)

Um, excuse me, but a person cannot change another's opinion of them! Alex, I think that's bad advice. The Personal Magnetism CD may help, but other people's opinion of us changes only if we change. Sure, everyone wants to be liked and nobody wants to know that others are speaking badly about us. But the most important thing IS how we feel about ourselves and how we see ourselves. I was a people pleaser for years. I don't really know exactly how or when it stopped. I worked on my own self esteem. I made written lists: my good qualities, my accomplishments. Today I like myself. Though I don't want to hear that someone else is badmouthing me, it really doesn't bother me. That's their opinion, and actually, it's none of my business. Nobody likes everybody. That's life.

D2C, my opinion is you work on liking yourself, loving yourself. You do need to change your self beliefs before you can permanently change your behavior. "Your self-perception determines your behavior," Marianne Williamson.
You mentioned all the ways you thought other people felt about you, and you're right when you say that's probably because that's how you view yourself. People will view us the way we project ourselves, the way we act. Which comes from how we feel! YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS AND YOUR BEHAVIOR!!!! Don't give up. It takes time. Try the CD, but I think you'll still need to put in some effort. Just deciding that you want to change is a huge step. Keep going. If you falter, learn from it and start again. Keep the focus on YOU, not on others. Trying to change other people is a game you can never win. As you change, others' perception of you will change. Let me know how it goes.

Instantaneous Personal Magnetism will change how one acts and that changes how other people respond. That's the idea of that Paraliminal.

I agree that you cannot change another persons belief that's why I recommended the Instantaneous Personal Magnetism Paraliminal because one needs to change themselves they cannot change other peoples believe.

I think you misunderstood the reason why I suggested using Instantaneous Personal Magnetism and not the Belief one. And I did identify that decision2change was trying to change other peoples beliefs. That you cannot do but you can change how they react to you and how you perceive their reaction by changing yourself.

Alex

Alex, you are so right about IPM. Even a change in one's posture (just something as simple as that) can change how others react to you. No, I'm not saying that IPM is about posture, just saying that sometimes the smallest little things you do can influence how others will react to you. Listening to that CD can bring about some of those changes. I've noticed it in myself, and I've lent it to friends and noticed the changes in them. It's one of the very best paras LSC makes (along with Euphoria, the one by Paul).

D2C,

Me and everybody else can only give you our own thoughts, what we think. It's up to you choose which advice you take. Though you dont' have much to loose when trying if some Paraliminal worked for your situation.

If I were you, I would think it through, what for I wanted to change my identity, or what for I want that nobody says anythin bad about me. These two may well be the same thing, but I wouldn't know before I think it through. What's more important than the thing you want?

My 2 €cents

Hi Oxygen. That was my whole point for writing the post. I “needed” Alex’s suggestion and thoughts. But, I got a bonus from everyone else who posted and shared their thoughts. I am grateful. Thank you!

In the end, the decision is ALWAYS mine. What I had been doing before the post was not working for me so I needed the help - you see.

I am however quite baffled about how so many of you ended up thinking that I am “bothered” with other people’s opinion of me. My statement about being “chatty” and how I would not care about what people say about me is not the essence of my feelings. My reaction is.

It is, what “I do” which makes them comment. It is my “reaction” to their comments that I would like to change. I can’t change people or their thoughts. I am well aware of that (especially since December 2006). So my purpose for writing was to seek guidance on what it is that I need to do, to react differently.

I thought, I would have to change my behaviour – but Tony Robbins pointed out that behaviour is temporary – I would have to change beliefs to nail a permanent solution. Hence the belief paraliminal.

My life has improved tremendously since December 2006. I was thinking of hurting myself seriously because of the way I was being treated at work. Through LS and BS, I have my sanity back and am actually enjoying life. I have started to expect more from myself and life. It gives me hope – that is why I wanted to prepare myself to stop behaving like “Bridget Jones” for the lack of a better explanation.

I need a partner. I am told my Bridget Jones personality is what is keeping me from getting what I want. Hence, the change in behaviour/personality/beliefs and identity.

Trust me, I am doing nothing else but thinking about it. I honestly don’t care what people say about me – but when they say it to someone else (i.e. potential boyfriend) then that is a problem!

And oh by the way – I got bored with “Feeling Good” by David Burns. It is a great book, I am sure – but I can’t be bothered doing all those exercises. (another shortfall I have to work on!)

I do appreciate your post - thank you muchly!

Hi Alex – thanks for the explanation on the benefits of IPM. I did not realize that it actually helps change my behaviour which in return invites favourable reception.

I have started to use it – have not seen a change but do believe in it so will continue. I particularly like the explanation given on the website …

“Instantaneous Personal Magnetism is also great to curb nervous behaviors, habits, traits, or thoughts.” This is exactly what I need to do. I think I behave Bridget Jones like because of nervous energy. I am quite ‘normal’ when I am with people I am comfortable with – it’s only when I am trying too hard to fit in or get accepted do I muddle things up.

You are so right! I need to listen to IPM. Thank you again – muchly!

Update: ALEX, I was just reading the post with title "Natural Brilliance"
http://www.learningstrategies.com/forum/...age=0#Post59687

Is this something I should look into as well? Would this help me get "unstuck" in my ways and create new associations?

Quote:

---

Instantaneous Personal Magnetism will change how one acts and that changes how other people respond. That's the idea of that Paraliminal.

I agree that you cannot change another persons belief that's why I recommended the Instantaneous Personal Magnetism Paraliminal because one needs to change themselves they cannot change other peoples believe.

I think you misunderstood the reason why I suggested using Instantaneous Personal Magnetism and not the Belief one. And I did identify that decision2change was trying to change other peoples beliefs. That you cannot do but you can change how they react to you and how you perceive their reaction by changing yourself.

Alex

---