Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Why is change difficult?

Here is my 2 cents:

Oxygen and Norbert seem to be in agreement with me. I am much more interested in what can be done, than "why it is difficult" The topic seems to be counterproductive- potentialy feuling negative beliefs and self fulfilling prophesies.

All of the arts and technologies that make the paraliminals great: NLP, Eriksonian techniques, etc, are built on positive assumptions- ie: solution oriented, goal focussed, generative thinking, finding/developing resources, etc.

Whatever you focus on is what is created- personaly, I want to create easy effective and lasting change.

vitaman

I have been called Gentle Giant for several years because of my disposition and my size.

Thanks for your kind words. I am new here and looking forward to getting to know everyone.

Concept,

I wasn't thrilled with the way "The Secret" showed up either. I thought a much better film and one that deals with the topic from the scientific viewpoint, and yet is very fun, is "What the Bleep Do We Know?". If you haven't seen it, I think it will appeal to your analytical mind.

I am excited about the way science and Spirit are coming together. Dr. John Hagelin, one of the pre-eminent physicists of our time has mathematically proven the Unified Field theory. He says "The unified field is aware of its own existence; it responds dynamically to its own presence. So what do we have? We have a field of concentrated, infinitely dynamic, self-aware intelligence. And that, my friends, is consciousness". So the unified field is really a scientific term for God. Very cool.

How concentrated is it? Dr. Hagelin says "There is by far more energy in a cubic centimeter of empty space than in the entire manifest universe with its trillions of galaxies, each with hundreds of billions of suns".

It is this energy that makes up our thoughts and our emotions (and all that is). That's why they are sooooo powerful. And why we need to do a better job of monitoring them. Thoughts combined with emotion have more power...think of it as turning up the volume on the radio. The extra power that emotions bring to the equation are geometric. That's why repeating "affirmations" over and over again, even for years, works, but verrry slooowly. Believe me, I know. Adding emotion makes things happen, for good or ill, more quickly.

If you are sad, blue, grieving, depressed, etc, you literally feel low, meaning the frequency at which you are "being" is low. You can think a sad thought like "damn, my team lost again". But it is fleeting, and when you get away from the game, the sadness quickly goes away, because you haven't invested much feeling into it. But if a death of a close one occurs, the grieving emotions combined with the sad thoughts, take you lower and keep you there longer. How low and how long depends on how much emotion you have invested. Some people never come out of a grief situation.

The same is true when feeling happy or joyful. Using the game analogy, your team won and your are happy. But it only lasts for a while. The secret is to learn to develop good feelings all the time. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says "I want to feel good". Unfortunately, in our societal consciousness, we usually feel bad more often and for longer than we feel good. But we can learn to generate feelings of gratitude, peace, acceptance, love, joy, blessedness, etc., if we work at it, and then learn to wrap those emotions around our thoughts, so positive things begin to happen for us.

That's why the paraliminals are so powerful. Don't you usually feel very good after using one? During the para process you are thinking positive thoughts and feeling good at the same time, so they are much more powerful.

To address the concerns of Oxygen, Norbert & vita-man:

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I myself would be also interested how to make change happen, not only why is it so-and-so. In my life I have noticed knowing why does not always imply change.

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It would also be interesting to consider what can be done to make change easy and fun!

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I am much more interested in what can be done, than "why it is difficult"... I want to create easy effective and lasting change.

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For me, personally, knowing why something is so, gives me the motivation to do what it takes. Telling me to do something without telling me why sort of brings out the rebellious streak in me. I want to figure out why. That being said, it is action that leads to change, and patience is key.

Here is a way to effect change. There are an infinite number of ways to the infinite. If what I say resonates with you, great. If not, discard it and find another way.

Go within! "If you don't go within, you go without" according to the "God" character in Neale Donald Walsh's Conversations With God. The spirit life cannot be a part-time endeavor and effect change, because what we put our attention on is what we are attracting, whether you go by ancient masters or modern quantum physicists. You are ALWAYS putting your attention on something, therefore you are always attracting (or creating, or manifesting) something. What is it you choose to attract?

For most of us, thoughts are racing through our minds at the rate of many thoughts per second, unless we are really focused on something that requires our full attention or something we are really enjoying. The key is to slow down that thought process, so we can monitor it and guide it, rather than letting it guide us. Doesn't it seem like you are your thoughts?

Try this: Close your eyes and watch for your next thought. How long before it comes? How long can you go without a thought? For most of us not long. But what this exercise shows is that "you" are not your thoughts. "You" can watch your thoughts. This is part of what is meant by going within. The observer in you is the real you. The part of us that normally is in charge of our thoughts is our ego (edging god out). According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, this is what the ego thinks: "I am what I do. I am what I have. I am separate from God. I am what others think of me. I am separate from everyone else. I am separate from what is missing in my life." If that is what you believe, fine. You won't get much from this post. If you believe in the inherent "oneness" of all that is, as Quantum Mechanics and ancient masters suggest, then maybe you want something different.

By spending time in meditation, of which paraliminals are a form, you can get to the point where you can slow your thoughts so you can monitor them and "censor" the thoughts that aren't taking you where you want to go...you literally have a second thought. I don't know if it is easy, but it is simple...and fun is what you make it. Paraliminals and the Holosync meditations from Centerpointe Research are two pieces of technology that allow you to short cut this process.

There is another part to going within. There is a physical point in you that connects to the infinite and eternal, or as physicists would say, the unified field. That point is approximately where your heart is, behind the sternum (your heart chakra). The next time you have a good feeling (gratitude, joy, peacefulness, etc), try to observe where it is coming from, where it originates. You will find that it originates from this area. Bad feelings (sadness, fear, grief) emanate from the gut, lower in your body (corresponding to the lower frequency of those feelings). That is why if you have a "gut feeling" you should always pay attention. Stay away or don't do what you were contemplating doing. On the other hand, if you have a "heart" feeling, you feel buoyed up, and your vibrations are literally rising (you are on a high), be sure to do whatever it is that your are contemplating. Neale Donald Walsh says "feelings are the language of the soul". They are your barometer of whether you are going in the direction you want, or not.

As you go through your day, try this experiment. Whenever you feel impatient, say in rush hour traffic, put your attention to your "heart" area. You will find that the impatience immediately fades. Whenever you feel like you are not appreciated, put your attention there. The feeling will disappear. Whenever you see yourself judging someone, put your attention there. The judgement immediately turns to acceptance. If you are feeling sad, put your attention there. The sadness will dissipate. As you progress, try to keep your attention focused on this point all the time. Then you are within. Then you are one with all that is. It takes practice. It takes patience. But you gotta do the work to reap the benefits. The alternative is to keep going through life as your are. You have been creating it by putting your attention where it has been. It's your choice.

I will continue this later. Gotta get to work!

Sorry for taking so long to get back but I have been quite busy the last couple of days.

A lot of people are very anxious to "hear" the rest of this. I noticed one blog in particular that seemed perplexed as to why I would "focus on the negative". This has nothing to do with being negative or positive it is about change and significant change IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING IN LIFE TO TRULY ACCOMPLISH. That is what this is about. Frankly this is one of the most positive subjects to truly discuss and research because EVERYONE deals with this at some point and most of us don't realize why it is difficult so we give up.

So let's get back to WHY CHANGE IS SO DIFFICULT. Change in itself is not difficult but massive changes often are. Sometimes they are not and it is important to understand why this happens.

The core of the issue here, as I mentioned in the first blog, is this thing called "Homeostasis". To give the definition again it is "an innate drive to stay the same". It is not a desire or wish, it is a DRIVE. It is a natural thing and exists with every living thing.

Contrary to popular belief, the purpose of life is not to procreate it is to survive. This is very important and if you don't believe this than please take it for just a moment and let me run with this. Than if you don't believe it than you can throw it away. The reason why I say the purpose of life is to survive is because how do you explain a person or creature who is not able to procreate still fights to survive? There are many reasons to live. We all have a purpose that may not be fullfilled. We are not just here to pop out babies. This is exactly what is happeing with homeostasis. It believes it is fighting to survive.

To put it another way, a belief or habit is actually a living thing. It does not want to die and will fight tooth and nail to protect itself.

I will try not to go too deep but oddly enough we are not one living thing. In our body there are many living things all combined to create us, one individual. This is important to understand because this is the true root with homeostasis. It is not all about the mind. If it was then hypnosis would work every single time and work quickly. So if there are many living things in our body to create one person how does that change things? Because remember EVERY living thing experiences homeostasis.

So if what you want to change is a lifelong habit than change can be very difficult because homeostasis will rear it's ugly head and do everything possible to keep things the same. You see if a habit is a long standing habit then EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY is programmed with this habit. If a cell is programmed carrying this habit or belief and you try to change that habit or belief, it is not just the mind that rebels and kicks homeostasis into overdrive, but every cell in your body is protecting itself. You see in a very long standing habit or belief every cell in your body is programmed and every cell in your body protects this as if though it was protecting it's own life. So every cell takes ownership of this.

Now I know some people will think this is absolute hog wash but this has been scientifically proven. Now here is the whole basis with this blog and why I brought it up in the first place. I am really happy with Paraliminals and feel strongly that they are incredibly effective, however they don't always work but they do on a lot of people. NLP is very effective but it doesn't always have a quick effect on every person. Tony Robbins (using his form of NLP) is very effective but not with every person. Bob Proctor, a wonderful mentor, is very effective but is not effective with every person. So why do some people experience "quick" and major changes with one thing but another person comes along and uses the same exact method, CD, mentor, etc but not have the same immediate and major change?

There is not one answer on this. Now please read the rest of this because I know some will get discouraged by the last sentence and give up. Don't, because understanding this one thing can help you break through the change barrier known as homeostasis.

Be patient AND persistent to change what you would like to change. The reason is because homeostasis is like a safe. It has a certain combination and you must find that combination if you want major change. You see the person who purchased a Paraliminal CD and had “instant” change may have been working on the problem for a long time and tried many things and wham, they listened to the CD once and next week the change finally happened. Maybe it was the last twist on the jar lid that finally broke and allowed it to be twisted off.

Maybe it was the first time they focused on that issue and the person responded perfectly to the voice on the recording or the words that were said and that did it. Or maybe homeostasis was just taking a nap at that moment and couldn't stop the change from happening. Who knows the reason why it happened. Just be happy it did and move on to the next thing you want to change.

I listened to an interview of Peter Frampton (famous musician from the 70's who wrote and recorded the two classics "Baby, I love your way" and "Show me the way") and Frampton wrote both those songs in one night. He wrote both those songs in just a few minutes, lyrics and music. He said he has tried to recreate that night again so he could write more hit songs but they just haven't come.

You can try using the same thing that seemingly broke through your resistance to change on one issue but it won't work on another so you might get discouraged and give up for some time. This is the worst thing to do because MOMENTUM is the key to breaking through homeostasis.

Patience is the key to change as is momentum (constant persistence). Remember "success is not a destination, it is a journey." Now you understand the basics of homeostasis and change have fun with this. Understand what is happening and keep working on the same thing until you break through it and experience change.

I hope this little article helps others and helps them to keep up the work on experiencing change. It is a great feeling when it happens and you have that "aha" moment and look at the difference in your life.

May your journey be prosperous,

Alexander J. Everhart
ForexPreneur

Now that most of you have a basic knowledge of change and the often potential hurdles the next thing is how to have fun with it.

Knowing that changing a habit or belief is like finding the right combination to a lock, and knowing that success is a journey NOT a destination than have fun with the journey.

Tony Robbins uses the term CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) which is based upon the Japense code of Keizen which was actually invented by an American (confused yet ), well if you do something everyday to grow your mind, then it is like a rubber band; once stretched it never goes back to it's original size.

So taking the philosophy that you are on a journey changes your shift just slightly but the results are drastically improved. You see if you KNOW you are on a journey then you don't put the weight of the world on the thing you are trying to change. You instead are looking enthusiastically at a way to find the "right combination" to unlock the lock to make the thing you want to change actually change, disappear, etc.

Have fun in the searching instead of focusing strictly on the outcome. You still need to focus on the outcome to a large degree because you need a direction to move towards, but don't focus ALL of you attention on the end result. I guess the easier way to put it is to not put all of your hopes and dreams and a particular goal with a dead-set time frame. This is setting up for failure.

Many will disagree with me on this because they misunderstand things that they learned. I know this from personal experience and from studying people who have incredible success. Bob Proctor says it the best (it is actually a Universal Law) "Force Negates".

If you try and force something (either to get it done within a strict time frame, or for it to be done a certain way) you are going about it wrong. You have to "let it happen". You essentially ask it and encourage it instead of insisting.

The Universe is almost like a child, albeit a very wise child. Try to force a child to do something and unless they are absolutely in fear they will resist big time. However if you encourage them, nurture them to do something without putting restraints on them they will astound you with the ease at which they do things. As soon as they feel they are being taken advantage of or forced, game over they won't do it even if they wanted to. If you give them freedom to do what they want when they want, and how they want they will have fun in the process.

That is how you must view change. Obsticals are neither fun nor a chore, it is how we view the obstical and the energy we give it hence it is your choice how you look upon it.

It's like the old story about rain. It starts to rain and the painter curses the rain because it "destroys" the painting he is working on outside. However on the other side of the valley a farmer is rejoicing at the "blessings" of the rain because it makes up for the draught. Same incident, it is neither negative or positive except for how it is looked upon.

So sense you have a choice on how to look at change, allow the process to be fun and exciting and within time, and everyday working on personal growth, in a period of time you will have an "aha" moment and realize how easy and fluid life has become.

May your journey be prosperous,

Alexander J. Everhart
ForexPreneur

Nice, Alexander! Your posts are very interesting and helpful. As a 51 year old professional storyteller and rabbi struggling with AD(H)D and other issues and most especially with change, this hlpes a lot.

Thank you for taking the time to write these.

You didn't fail to impress with your replies. Just thought I'd post and show my appreciation. Thanks for the great lesson!