Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human My fiance suddenly doesn't want to marry me!

Hello,

About seven months ago I started working on attracting my absolutely perfect man into my life. I stated that he will become my husband, we would have children, be very wealthy...basically the fairly tale. A couple of weeks after I started working on this desire, I met him. He was my prince charming. Great values, wanted a family, loved dogs, wealthy, successful, smart, charming...everything. Within two months he asked me to marry him. I couldn't believe it. We planned to elope in Thailand and have a private, intimate Buddhist wedding. (Neither of us are Buddhist, we just thought it would it very culturally and spiritually interesting). We got eachother wedding bands and both started wearing them....he loved his wedding band...he refused to take it off! We purchased a new car and leased a gorgeous condo together by the ocean. We were just a little short on money at the time, and the wedding was an additional $15-20k. He said it was just too much for right now, and asked if it would be alright not to have the wedding. I was crushed...devastated, to tell you the truth...but I agreed. Then he started talking about male psychology and how he feels the male mind was not programmed to be with one person for the rest of his life. He says he's terrified of waking up one day and wanting to have a tacky affair with a receptionist or something because of his "human male urges". He said he's getting kind of bored and doesn't know what is going on with him, but I shouldn't be worried. Ummmm? Hmmm.... a man just breaks off marriage with me and I shouldn't be worried? Wow...

So we moved in the condo, got the perfect dog, and now what? He won't even touch me. He used to be a very sexual person and now I'm lucky if he drapes his arm on me during sleep. He is very stressed at work and works long hours (it's an internet start-up, and he's one of the head guys). Now let me just throw this out there...I am a young, attractive woman. Blond hair, green eyes, petite, curvy. No concerns there. But now I find him giving more affection to the puppy than to me! He comes home and goes straight to pet the puppy and give him a hug. I just stand there, say hello and he walks around me as if I'm contagious. The only time he says "I love you" is when he leaves for work...so not romantic. So I feel like I get rejected over and over again.

Here is what I have been doing with the paraliminals:
1) Belief side B

2) Positive Relationships side B

3) Prosperity (to draw physical, emotional and mental love from him)



Before I even started to draw this man into my life I removed all negative thoughts, feelings and fears from myself (including things that I deserve, etc.)



Any ideas???

Hello

Not sure but maybe there was still some abandonment issue in your subconscient that has created it.

Everything that we see outside of us, in our world is a perfect reflection of what is inside of us, consciously or unconsciously...

Do you know EFT ? this could help you with the help of paraliminals to removed what is in the subconscious mind.

what do you think ?

Good luck

Isabelle

Hello Pelmeni,

First of all, I would like to apologize because I had quite a chuckle reading your post. It is not funny – yet somehow it is to me. At first, my reaction was your man is playing games with you. Some men do that. They like the chase or the early bits. But, my opinion changed by the time I finished reading your post.

So here are a couple of suggestions made based on my assumption of you believing that you create your own reality.

1. What changed? If he was such a dream man and was so lovey dovey then what happened that makes you THINK that he no longer pays enough attention to you?

2. Believe it or not, your looks are not everything! Your blond hair and green eyes will not keep him with you (Look at Charles and Camilla!). What will keep him is your support, understanding and your efforts of keeping that, which attracted him to you in the first place. So again I ask, what has changed since you two moved in together?

3. When he says he is getting bored – how do you react? What is so boring to him? You? Work? Life? What?

4. Why do you think he loves the puppy more? Read my post, at my blog again – because I do talk about cats and dogs (and I swear, I did not read your post before writing mine. That one, just related to my situation but it is ironic how I feel it will help you put things into perspective).

5. And lastly, if you are the creator – then have you considered you are creating the situation by focusing on what is not working rather than focusing on what will make it work?

We tend to make things difficult for ourselves. I have learnt this the hard way but today, I know that there is no situation that I cannot turn around to my advantage. And when I do, I am happy. And when I am happy, everyone and everything around me vibrates with joy.

You know what to do!

Look at "Loving What Is : Four Questions that Can Change Your Life" By Byron Katie. Your one paragraph below is a perfect canidate to go through this process. Obviously, these are your beliefs and how can you see anything else through these filter.


He won't even touch me.

He used to be a very sexual person and now I'm lucky if he drapes his arm on me during sleep.

He is very stressed at work and works long hours (it's an internet start-up, and he's one of the head guys).

Now let me just throw this out there...I am a young, attractive woman.

Blond hair, green eyes, petite, curvy. No concerns there.

But now I find him giving more affection to the puppy than to me!

He comes home and goes straight to pet the puppy and give him a hug.

I just stand there, say hello and he walks around me as if I'm contagious.

The only time he says "I love you" is when he leaves for work...so not romantic.

So I feel like I get rejected over and over again.

I think that you should look at some of Debbie Ford's material. Do a search on the interenet and find her site. Also Amazon.com has her books and CD's. She has some wonderful material!

Quote from previous post "Everything that we see outside of us, in our world is a perfect reflection of what is inside of us, consciously or unconsciously..."

No truer statement has ever been spoken! I always trace my struggles back to this statement, but not after trying to find an outside source to blame. If the whole world realized this statement, there wouldn't be all the problems going on now!

I would suggest you have a look at Rori Raye's material and books too. She has helped me enormously. Her website is http://havetherelationshipyouwant.com/

By the sounds of your description of yourself, I think I may have found the solution for you:

Unless you are severely opposed to 6 months of sub zero temperatures.... I think you oughtta buy a good Winter jacket, move up here to Canada and we'll get married in an Igloo ... now that's romance ...

If you are a nice looking petite blonde with green eyes and your "prince charming" talks about his "natural male urges" yet doesn't want to be romantic with a beauty like yourself - he must NOT have natural male urges!!!

: - )

I don't necessarily believe you should use a Paraliminal in attempts to draw out love from your beau ... try using them to be happy with yourself no matter what happens in your current relationship. You deserve to be loved by someone who is a perfect fit for you, and although it's difficult to see at times.... everything really does work out in the end ... just relax and let it happen for you.

I don't know if you have any particular spiritual beliefs or not but "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale has changed my life in the last 3 days more than any other single self improvement method/book/cd/tape I've ever used. and there's been hundreds or thousands of dollars spent on those

It's writings are Christian but as the author puts it "practical, scientific spiritual techniques" or something like that. It's turned me in a 180 from some of the personal issues I was having....

Have a great day hon and I wish you all the best in California.

P.S. it's minus 35 degrees celsius in Winnipeg, Canada today ... brrrr!


Dave

Dave you are funny... I realise I have the perfect winter coat and I'm moving up there immediately! Move over refrigerator! LOL!

Just kidding...

To everyone who has replied to my post-

Thank you so much for your suggestions and warm thoughts. I am broadening my horizons, and you guys are a big part in that. I really appreciate all your input!

In the past week I have realized that absolutely everything I am now experiencing is the direct outcome of my previous actions and thoughts. It seems wherever I turn (radio, TV, people, internet, etc...) something jumps out at me and I have an "Aha!" moment. It is absolutely incredible how the universe works... My outlook on life has changed dramatically and I feel as though as I glowing. The relationship with my significant other is slowly changing for the better...it's the little things, but it's definitely getting there. It's difficult maintaining the glow and the positive thoughts when the other person sends out so much negativity (not to mention absolutely no sexual contact for nearly a month...), but I'm trying... I know the old loving, compassionate and affectionate person is still in there.

Before I forget to mention this, once my positive energy started flowing all sorts of miraculous things have started happening to me. It is truly a ripple effect! A few months ago I came incredibly close to landing the "perfect-for-me" job, buts somehow things fell apart. I was still optimistic and sent them a Thank You e-mail for taking their time to talk to me about the opportunity. Then a couple of days ago that job suddenly flew through my mind....absolutely out of nowhere. Guess what happened? Yesterday they called me out of nowhere, said they're ready to move forward with me, and I am meeting the owner of the business in just a couple of hours today. Wish me luck!!!


If you have any more input you would like to share, I would LOVE to hear it!


Thanks again for all your help!