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I got the Instant Personal Magnetism a few days back and have used it four or five times so far. It seems to be pretty effective. I have used a model that has the characteristics I want to develope, but I don't think that I can do it. Even if I could copy the behavior itself, it would still look completely different. I have no idea how to obtain the qualities since they are the opposite of where I am at right now. I have always been very nervous and insecure and my model is strong and assertive. I also got the Self_Esteem Supercharger, but it is not enough. I am trying develope both the behavior and especially the qualities behind the behaviors. Ten different people could have the exact same behaviors and each one might come across completely different. Most of those 'qualities' are subconcious and I don't know how to copy them because they are completely out of my experience. My question is, if I stick with the tape, will I eventually be able to develope the qualities I am aiming for? How long does it take to begin seeing results?

With IPM, take things one bite at a time. Think of the blockages you can easily shore up, like maybe picking your nose in public or something banal like that. As you build up a history of success, you can shore up more esoteric blockages.

IPM is more of a "take away." It sounds like you want to "add." For that, I'd recommend New Behavior Generator. Although it's common in NLP to say "don't think about what you DON'T want," sometimes it helps. Just subtract the energy leaks until the powerful, magnetic person at the core of your being shines forth strongly.

One thing you might want to do is consider changing your frame of mind. If your library has it, there is a wonderful book called "The Introvert Advantage." Remember, Ras Tafari was a very demure man. He just had very few blockages, and the ability to plan very far ahead. Although it has been theorized through Y-chromosone research that one out of every 200 men is decended from Ghengis Khan, it doesn't mean that you have to act like him.

Thanks for the advice. My problem is that All the changes I want to make are esoteric in nature. I am not really trying to 'add' any specific behavior, just the quality behind the behavior and some aspects of my personality. I am definitely not trying to be like Genghis Khan, just trying to make some changes that I need to make. The energy leaks I have are nothing specific but everything in general, if that makes any sense.
I have tried The New Behavior Generator, but the IPM has appeared to be more helpful to me. If I continue to use the IPM, will these qualities eventually come through? How long does it generally take to see some results? Again, thanks for the advice.

I see it right away. With the IPM, the question is how does taking away a leak effect the remaining behavior? That's why you have a modle. For example, when I took away jealousy using Doctor Hannibal Lecter, I became sexually agressive and very passionate.

Now, leaks can come back. Unless the behavior is reinforced and rewarded, the IPM is a "Bandler-Aide," to make a pun of it.

I dunno. When I think "esoteric," I think of BIG things like Centrepoint. I hate to say "maybe you're not throwing enough money at it," but I'm not sure what "it" is. It sound like your not happy with who you are. That's very hard to change. You can either do what Tony Robbins did and do a complete overhaul of yourself, or you can find ways to become comfortable with who you are. The question is where the discomfort lies. If it is with your actions, your behaviors or your situation, that's one thing. If it's with your core, that's another.

I'd definately recommend a thought-structuring-program, like "Natural Brilliance." If your budget only allows for individual paraliminals, "Personal Genius" is wonderful. It combines the "beginners mind" approach to problem solving with a healthy dose of inner confidence in your mental prowress. I've watched movies immediately after listening to Natural Brilliance, and immediately followed by Memory Supercharger. It's a very profound effect.

I have always struggled with a strong social phobia. I have made a lot of progress in the past year and it continues to subside. The problem is that it has had a tremendous effect on my behaviors and personality. I guess the fear was with me for so lon that it had a permanent effect on me. The problem is that I am conquering the social fears, but the behaviors that go with it are another story. Anybody can stand tall, but everybody would look slightly different doing it. My body language and personality (at times) are still very stiff and weak. I have spent thousands of dollars trying to help myself, including Centerpointe. I can't afford to spend anymore, so I will make due with the Paraliminals that I have. The only thing that has helped me is the Paraliminals, along with positive mental imagery. People reveal themselves through their body language, speech and behavior, mostly without even being aware of it. That's what I mean by 'esoteric' and I reckon that changing that would be a pretty big change. If IPM cannot change the 'esoteric' stuff, then I don't see what good it is to anybody. I thought that's what it is supposed to do. I am using the model so that I take on the esoteric qualities like assertiveness, not just to 'take away' weak and insecure qualities.

I cannot simply accept it and leave it at that. It has a terrible impact on careers and relationships. I have had very little success on the job and most women are not exactly attracted to a man whose behavior looks insecure. I am not living up to my potential in any area of my life. I think that people see me as very unsure of myself and so they don't have confidence in me. I know that my behavior looks insecure and fearful and that DOES make me insecure. If I could change the 'esoteric' qualities, I could make some real progress.

If I keep using the IPM every day will it eventually take hold? I can see some small changes after only five sessions, but so far nothing radical.

What modles are you using? I'm thinking for realism you'd want to use someone who has overcome social phobia themselves, either in real life or fictionally.

I do see what you mean about esoteric nature. The complex mass of learned behavior is complicating your life, even if you no longer have the phobia itself. All I can think of recommending at this point is daily listening. Maybe you'll find the capstone that makes it all fit into place.

Hiya Hoss!

I've had most use of the SelfEsteem-tape when it comes to social insecurities. If I feel anxious in a situation I will very quickly show it with my face. I try to keep a smile but that's hard in such a situation. What does work is Natural Brilliance. You let go of the feelings for the moment and then you change. Your posture gets different and your field of vision opens up. Pretty much like SelfEsteem. If you don't want to spend any more I'd go with SelfEsteem. I also use it mostly every day. When I start to feel to much insecure with new people or situations I get the tape out. Anyway, Natural Brilliance is nice cos' you get conscious techniques to work with.

Just wanted to say that reading your last post makes me think that you do have success in one area of your life. Determination. You really know what you want and it seems like nothings going to stop you from getting it.

Relax, you will get your desired results, one way or the other.

Have a nice day!

Thanks for all the good advice. I have tried the Self-Esteem Generator and I agree that it is very helpful. I don't really know anyone that has had social phobia, either real or fictional. Right now, I am just using a model who has the same kind of personal power I want to develope. I will continue to listen and hopefully the results will come. Again, thanks for all the help.

People suffering from social Phobia or a paranoia desease, have some beliefs they have created. Very often it's about that other people want to hurt them, and that they feel they don't know why. They think: Other people just want to do that...

The antidosis I have found for it (I have suffered from it too. Got a mental desease and got threatment at a mental hospital, so I know a lot about it. The funny thing is, that my psycologist was amazed about how quickly I have recovered after we found out what it was. I just installed some new great beliefs and changed my frames. That's all! Was recovered in a few months only) is beliefs about that other people want you to do well. That you're loved by other people. If you have deeprooted beliefs about that then you don't have any fobia for other people (if your fobia is that) and you are not afraid of getting rejected. You just feel loved.. Like good social people does uncousciosly. They love to communicate..

The frames a person has who has some phobia of other people or paranioa feelings are negative frames about, that other people want to hurt one, in some way or another. You are afraid of that they will do something to you. And the anti-frame for that is that other people love you, that other people want the best for you. I think these beliefs can cure anybody suffering from a mental illness in this context to a healthy social individual who is devoloping a good personality structure.

And a lot of people has this problem. Many have generated some situations in the past, and then created a phobia or some automatic frames about this and this situation, which makes you feel unloved and that other people can be cruel.. And the more often that happend, the more people generate this into negative patterns. And that pattern has to break. And create some other patterns. This is quite easy with new beliefs.

So the new frames get you into automatic thinking that people want the best for you. feel loved by others, and feel "anti-fobia-problem", because a person who feel that will get one with unlimited powers on self-developing. Everything gets great. A need is that people are social, and people gets mental illnesses if they are not!! It's why we have so many mental hospitals. It's not things that makes other poeple mental ill, it's people who makes other people mental ill. It's a need to have the right social beliefs. And the one who has that don't need confidence when facing other people. Why should you? You feel loved anyway then. It's so deeprooted beliefs that it seperate healthy people with people who are not.

Another really importent thing is that most people who gets a mental desease of this kind, are often loosing their motivation for establishing good rapport. If you don't know how to make rapport or that it is very difficult, that could later make the basis for schizophrenia. If you're good at it, you automatic also has the belief that other people want you the best.

Establishing good rapport will make more aasy for a person to be themselves togehter with any other person. Good rapport with many people over time makes beliefs over time that you are loved. You will get loved or better "welcomed" feelings from others. That you can use for your own personal benefits. When you have established rapport, you can easily get more into being yourself, because they then are totally into positivity stuff with you..

I think the course Resiliency contains a lot of stuff on how to establish good rapport with other people (I have learned it through other sources). Establishing good rapport will heal your connections with everybody much faster, will help you establish the right beliefs much faster.

Get a person who loves to communicate, be oneself with others, love the reaction from other people (it's what communication is about), maybe manipulate if that is fun. Develop personality structure...

If anybody want help on this, I would be glad to assist you with more information and help.

Murof.

[This message has been edited by Murof (edited June 27, 2003).]

I want some help! I've climbed a few steps but are still some to go.

this is my email: storjorden@yahoo.com

so that you don't have to show yours. I'd be happy to hear more of what you have to say. After this weekend perhaps?

Cya!

Tore