ColinM, I understand your situation exactly. It is as if there is some terrible form of self distruction going on. Or as my wife used to put it, "just tell me which direction you are trading and I will go the opposite".
As far as I can tell there is no magic bullet. There is no intuition pill or anything else beyond the bounds of ordinary logic.
However, ther are a number of ordinary things that you can do.
1. If you are depending on trading for income then stop trading. Get a job and then trade. The pressure is much to great.
2. If your ego is invested in trading positively then stop trading. The markets do not care about you. You will just be eaten up.
3. If you have a system them when you want to trade ask someone for "permission" based on the solid logic of your sytem and how it applies to the specific trade.
Something you may find helpful is the newly advertised ebook called Personal Power. I liked it alot.
Good Luck
Arnold