Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Loneliness

I have come to learn that I have a deep seeded loneliness...as I've posted in the past no matter what goal I've wanted to accomplish of area that I want to improve in I cant seem to get past a certain stage. Now there are possibly more issues than just loneliness that I'm not aware of yet. However thru some professional help I've come to learn that this is at least a good base and place to start.

I've listened to N.History A as a starting point. Any other suggestions?

Dan

Hi Dan,

You might want to join my thread at Beyond Human. I think we could have a good discussion on this topic. I am relating to you for sure. Anyhow, I have found that I am lacking in 'close' relationships and that is what is blocking me... Unfortunately, when I am aware of this it pulls me deeper into it... So if you want to join me I have a suggestion that is different from PL's... I have to apply it myself cause I need action!

take care,... Scooter~

I used to have very deep loneliness and I guess I could say that residues are still there, but what helped me the most was "loving kindness" meditation and then later "higher self" meditation. It helped to open my heart and love, even to my loneliness and to let myself heal.

I can certainly relate to you because I have practically no family left, am single and have never been married. I am in bitter and protracted dispute with my place of employment, so you can get the picture.

One aspect, which almost everybody has, is a number of grievances generate in the past. I believe that Fred Luskin in his book "Forgive for Good" is an excellent start to understand grievances and how overcome it.

I think the New History Generator is a good start. You can also get benefits from Anxiety Free, New Option Generator, etc

Look at Happy for No Reason to be used with the book of the same name. If you are happy, you can't feel lonely since you accept what life offers you and be content with it.

The best loneliness (and depression) fighter I know is give to others. You cannot receive what you cannot give. Every time I've been in that spot, the only way I got out of it was by volunteering in some way--I've worked in soup kitchens, helped out with relief agencies, and just helped out where I could. Most newspapers list agencies that need volunteers, and usually they are so glad to have ANY help that they'll be very flexible with your schedule no matter what it is.

Think you're too tired at the end of your day to do more? Think again. Here's another bonus--I always have lots more energy when I do this!

There is nothing more rewarding, and there is nothing in the entire universe that can make you more aware of your many blessings than to work with those lots less fortunate than you.

I agree with you Jeanne, many times in my life when I have asked how I can help myself the answer I have always found has been in service for others. In finding ways to truly serve and help others I have always found that I've been serving the deepest part of myself.

hi Dan the man....

here is what was posted on my thread (patterns) on the beyond human forum written by PAULHOUSE (Paul hope you don't mind me moving your post over here!) oops! too late!


"""Interesting that this is the first thread I chose to explore. I think I shall pontificate a bit and hopefully help out a little.
We are all on a quest of one sort or another, financially, emotionally, spiritually... actually they are all connected
Scooter....
Life never hands you anything you are not capable of dealing with. Most times the dealing involves a lesson to be learned in order to become closer to your own divinity, your own expression of Truth. Most people make the error of always reaching, always asking, always seeking, without ever taking a moment to simply stop and listen. When you ask the question, the answer is there, but you have to learn to listen for it. It's quiet, see, and it doesn't shout above the louder voices vying for your attention. When you ask the questions, you are essentially reaching "upward" to your personal "source" for answers. When you stretch "upward", grasp what you see "up there" and bring it back, integrate IT into your life, your body, your mind. Usually feeling like no one loves you is a sign that you are not simply accepting Love as an energy unto itself. As soon as you accept Love, it will start to fill you and you will exchange love with all things. Damn I sound like a quack right now.
In relationships, cast your lines out, you'll get a bite. Then take a look at what has bitten, make sure you get something nutritious and not a shark or predator that is going to consume you. There's the tuffy. """

I have to say Paul has got a good point here... when you are filled with that "love energy" inside you, the love is there all around you. Anyhow his comments were so on topic with your thread Dan. Divine timing....!~~

Cheerio~ scoots*

Hi Dan,
I used to be lonely at a football game with 80,000 people around me. The thing is that I also hated to be by myself so I would hang out with people all the time to not feel so lonely. After lots of exploring I found that my lonelyness and my hating to be by myself was due to the fact that when I was alone I was with me and I didn't really like me and when I was around people I didn't think I had anything good to share. The key for me was to discover the fact that I am a good person and have alot to share. I began to learn how to love myself. One of the things that I do every morning is when I look into mirror I greet myself with a big smile and tell myself to have a great day, after all I do see myself every day so I want to be sure I start my day in a positive way. I know it sounds weird but it works. If you do this be really happy to see yourself the more you express yourself the better it works.
Open your heart and look inside many of the answers you seek are there. The more you love yourself the more you can love others.

WOW...I'd like to start out by thanking everyone who has responded to this post!! I am going to read and re-read everything in here again. Do my best to apply what everyone has written about...you all have a wealth of knowledge for the taking!!

I'll keep you updated. I'd also like to know how everyone has/is progressing in this area of life.

Thanks again,
Dan