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Joined: May 2005
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I believe all people around us change with time, particularly our kids, if we have any. So I believe the same procedure of release can be applied to any person around us as they change through life.

Joined: Jul 2009
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Dear French Claire,
I just read this subject and have been emotionally touched. I lost my Mother this year, on March 23rd. She had full blown Alzheimers and I was angry. I found it difficult to call her and finally stopped when the nurse said she was talking to someone else. I could hear her. This still hurts. I didn't handle this issue well at all. I had flown to California the year before in February to visit her before she could no longer live with my sister. She had begged me to come live with me. I had to tell her I was not able to help her like my sister could. Unfortunately this was true at the time, even now. My growth is phenomenol right now, but time heals. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I am not even sure I will actually send it. I have felt such guilt, such anger, such sadness, and such grief. I still resent that I could not talk to my Mother. I could always make her laugh and she had been a tremendous support to me in the last 16 years or so. I miss her love and encouragement. I missed being able to encourage her, to cause her to laugh, and yes, to be a confidante when she was angry or felt neglected by my sister. By support I mean emotional and spiritual support. I have had no one else until now. I am having a full-blown sobbing experience. I have you as a partner now and this forum as support. This ES Program is fabulous for me.
I believe what I am trying to share here is that all these emotions, as horrible as they are, are common. You have taken on that which I couldn't. I do not want to be around any Alzheimer or whatever names they called it on the way there. It is a heart breaking experience and I applaud you for sharing it so bravely. When Mom passed on I thought I would just celebrate her release. Instead I have had extreme grief and sadness, which totally surprised me as I thought I had already worked through these during the past year. I believe you are farther along than I was at that time. Everyone I knew thought I should just let it go. There wasn't any understanding and I sure did need some then.
I have done a lot of releasing while writing this. There is still a lot of sadness and hurt I'm finding right now that have been hidden. I miss my Mom now that she is gone, but I missed her more when she was here, yet I couldn't communicate with her. I support you, Claire, in this situation. May you find yourself surrounded with love and held up by your natural self; and the help of this forum, and of course my support.


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Hi there Successful,
This is a difficult subject for anyone who experiences the decline of a parent. In the more recent past I have witnessed friends of mine struggling to come to terms with losing a parent, and it seems to be a long process.

In my case I seem to have ongoing difficulties recognising the changes that are taking place within my mother. I somehow seem to have a fixed picture of her (as she was in her prime). When evidence of age appears, I go into denial (that is I get irritated with her behaviour and I try to get her to alter it), or I treat her as she used to be (fully functional) and am unable to accept she behaves differently, or I suddenly get a glimpse of her as she is (getting more and more forgetful, startle reflexes like a baby with arms spread wide and huge fright, or irrational claims like she's never seen/eaten such-and-such even though we had it the day before). Just yesterday I suddenly realised that her hearing has deteriorated.... perhaps that is why she often asks the same thing a few times over.... maybe she doesn't hear us? Even her facial expression has changed. As a result I don't recognise the person that was.

I kind and loving friend that I have here in France went through the same thing six years ago. Her advice has been invaluable. She says that the person my mother was has gone. That one of the most difficult for any adult to do is to parent their own parents (and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I baulk and twist and turn and deny and avoid.... anything not to have to do her thinking for her!). She advised me to be endlessly kind and patient because mother's time is short, and when the parent has died, the shame, guilt and regrets set in. Only for it to be too late to make any changes. With all this advice ringing around in my head, I try to parent her, not to criticise her, to support and to be loving. However I find this almost impossible. Inside I often feel revulsion at her inability to concentrate, to complete tasks, to focus, the endless repetition of stories tries my patience. All at a time when my soul cries out to focus on the positive.

The only tool I know of that actually helps is releasing via Sedona Method. I find I can just let it float away and dissolve. This makes me kinder and feel better in myself. However the effect is short term, so I have to keep releasing.

And then she tells me how happy she is to be with us, how she loves living in France (she speaks no French), how much better she feels..... and I feel little short of a monster. Why can't I just adapt to the deterioration and enjoy what I have of her?

She is/was an outstanding person. At age 82 she still works as a journalist.

Every blessing
French Claire

Joined: Jul 2009
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Dear French Claire,

I can't thank you enough for sharing your exact feelings with me. I didn't realize how much healing I still have to do. I too, did much releasing according to Lester. It seems that this mind-boggling situation isn't in any of the books. I applaud what you are doing. I personally think that there are consistently so many different things assaulting your conscious mind, that this calls for constant releasing. Funny, I never thought of that while I was in the midst of it.
I have read that this type of situation is growing; and that people don't know how to deal with it. I know I tried to get in a club, but the times didn't coincide with my work schedule. It does change your whole life perspective. I am grappling with my own emotions as I write this. I hope it makes some sense. Have to get ready for work.
I am here for you at any time, such as it may be. I don't feel like I'm much of a support here. This subject needs to come out in the open and be explored, so we can handle it as best as possible. Thanks for writing. You are wonderful!


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Successful
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