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Giving Up - Follow Up
#73253 08/03/09 03:43 PM
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Hi All,

I have decided to start a new thread for the sake of simplicity and a fresh start following on what I launched with the previous thread, called "Giving Up". My intent is for this thread to be a place for people who took me up on my invitation to give something up (in the interest of enhancing their success with the ES Course and related Law of Attraction processes) to report what they have observed and experienced over the past week. In the spirit of my comments toward the end of that last thread, my request is that folks keep their posts to reports and dialog regarding those reports.

My commitment was to give up the compulsive monitoring of internet sports, particularly basketball and bicycling. I did that until Sunday, at which point I gave myself full permission to fully "indulge". Curiously, I only spend about 10 minutes doing online with it, and then I was done with it.

Based on my experience of the past week, I am now willing to allow myself one day a week only to do as much sports information hounding as I want. I, hereby, commit to a limiting of my internet sports viewing in this manner for the next 4 weeks.

I did not miss my habit much at all. I reckon the time was ripe to give it up.

My week was, perhaps, the most significant of my adult life (time will tell whether that statement is accurate, or mere hyperbole). Most of what occurred happened on the level of relationships - with my parents, partner, friend, co-workers, acquaintances, and most of all, within myself. To cover the details would require at least an entire chapter of a book (which I may be writing before I know it). Suffice it to say I have never witnessed so much healing on an interpersonal and intra-personal (i.e. inside of me) level in a year, let alone a week. I imagine this may come across as an exaggeration, but I assure you, it is so. I have never witnessed myself so emotionally transparent, relentlessly honest, and verbally skillful in my communications with people. The results have been positively trance shattering, and the level of intimacy I am experiencing with all of the people in my life has been staggering.

Do I think all of this is because I gave up trolling for juicy tidbits of internet news regarding Le Tour de France and the latest personnel changes on the 20 or so teams of the National Basketball Association? No. But, I do think that the decision to do this made room for other possibilities and other energies to come rushing in, and rush in they most certainly did!

The moral of my story is this: If I want to have what want, I have to be willing to stop putting my attention on what I no longer want, even if there was a payoff in keeping alive what I no longer want (Hmmm. Sound familiar?) Said another way - If I want something, I need to make a space for what I want to come to me, and that means something else(a thought, a possession, or a behavior, as examples) must be let go of.

I want to raise my glass to giving up! \:D

Best to all,
Stevers

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Stevers #73256 08/03/09 04:27 PM
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Good for you, Stevers. I was not following your last thread, so I'm glad you started a new one to catch my attention!

I drag so much stupid burden around with me.
Thanks for inspiring a way to start leaving it behind.

My first "giving up" is a little harder to define--
I spend way too much time at my work,
compared to the benefits I get(I would like to be able to make more than an eked-out living, and have recovery time.)

Other agents are out prospecting for new clients,
while I spend tons of time & energy serving the one or two I have, that come to nothing or little.

I have to give up something here,
to make room for enough clients
to support my business & myself beyond fear & subsistance.

I might be in the wrong business.

I'm a real estate agent. Agents whom I admire, and my past clients, describe me as one of the best they have worked with. All that great stuff--contientious, accountable, informative, not pushy, responsive, integrity, proactive. OK, yay, I'm proud & glad. I ask for referrals. "Please let your friends know how great I am, I'm happy to take care of them just like I cared for you."

But where are the next clients? I need to eat. I need new glasses. I've written 3 contracts and taken 2 listings in the last 5 months. Only one has produced a paycheck.

I see plenty of agents, who do crappy-crappy jobs on behalf of their clients, selling homes and collecting paychecks. AND these agents never seem to be at classes or trainings beyond the minimum to keep the license, and never serve on community projects.

Agents who seem to have the easiest time making new clients
are the ones who have a military spouse,
or are in the PTSA, or soccer moms,
or formally worked in small town grocery stores.

I'm not in that position.
I'm not much of a joiner, no kids in school.
I'm very down to earth,
and I avoid cheap flashy gadgets,
drinking parties, television,
cheesy gas hog cars & trucks.

My former landscaping clients
seem too freaked out by my career change
to buy or sell a home with me.

So, what is it I have to give up?
Can someone else see what I'm not seeing?

Is it my real estate career? (5 years in December.)

Is it the care I take in a transaction,
to protect my clients' investments and net values?

The whole thing has been a new world to me.
Literally, I dug in the dirt for a living
before I switched to Real Estate.
I worked in garden centers and did some landscape design.
I'm a lifetime status Wa State Certified Nursery Professional.
The garden center business is disappearing around here. Besides, it did not pay a living either.

Sometimes I feel that I'm missing a piece of my puzzle,
--or a whole corner! --and if I could get that piece in place,
the rest will follow naturally.

Can some fellow LS patron make
any suggestions on what I need to give up?
I am grateful in advance!

Thanks again Stevers, for posting it fresh.


Last edited by Linda Carroll; 08/03/09 04:42 PM.

Warmest wishes,

Linda
Washington State
Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Linda Carroll #73260 08/03/09 05:42 PM
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Stevers - a little hide and seek never hurt anyone... it's important to play while we grow! Seriously, I do understand the "fresh start". In fact, I like your term so much, that is what I am calling my commitment to this releasing experience - a fresh start.

So in case you didn't see my post in the other spot, I had been out of town during your first invitation, but am applying your idea to August. To give up:

1) Believing/claiming that there is not enough time when what I'm really doing is filling my hours with derailers and busy-ness (TV/internet/email/unproductive and escapist-type daydreams). All actions not oriented toward my goals.

2) Self-doubt - I will use Sedona Method, in conjunction with ES, which has helped me in other areas. My normal cycle tends to be:
Goals and Action Plan >>> Good Start >>> Self-Doubt (often sub-conscious so not noticed at first) >>> Magic Derailers Appear allowing for >>> Procrastination >>> in order to focus on Busy-ness (See #1) which really = Self-sabotage >>> disappointment in myself which in turn = more reason to doubt myself in future.

Two days in and this is my first access of internet in those two days. Addressed a bunch of mundane, avoided, but necessary chores this weekend - got them out of the way to lay a foundation for that fresh start. Less TV, more downtime spent outside enjoying the beautiful weather with my husband - good, grounding, quality time. Next step - to reapply myself actively to my ES goals and daily disciplines (started back up today).

Will give more updates after a full week, but already feeling better.

Linda - I had a 180 degree-type career change much like you that didn't (in my case) work out, so I do see some parallels. This may or may not trigger something for you but... started doing something I loved and was good at (became a chef), but it became such a struggle, that I finally gave it up and went back to what I was good at but didnt love (financial analyst type). The main thing I took away from that experience = I definitely "gave myself away", wore myself out, and ultimately didn't prosper. Didnt know it at the time but I attracted the struggle to myself through self-doubt and old patterns of putting everyone/thing before me. A second class citizen in my own life!

Meanwhile, are you doing Effortless Success actively right now? I don't read the posts each day, so may have missed you before. Some of the basics from ES Level I may be worth revisiting...
Another thought - I was inspired to identify what I call my derailers (the give ups) by the contributions of several posters on Stevers' original thread, called "Giving Up". Volume I so to speak.

Have a great week - Colleen

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Linda Carroll #73262 08/03/09 05:59 PM
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Hi Linda
Have you tried the Sedonna Method? It sounds like it could help you- to release from the outcome, release from the worry about what other agents are doing, release from the financial ping-pong game, etc. In one of the CD's Hale speaks of a shift that occurred for him, while he was in the real estate business- that made a huge change in his financial bottom line.
I'm sure others will offer their suggestions as well- we all support each other in positive changes, as we bump along this path.

Brenda

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Brendann #73264 08/03/09 08:22 PM
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Hi Brendann - so true, I heartily agree Sedona or something similar would be invaluable. I am 2/3 thru Sedona now, but didn't even think to mention it to Linda - case of not seeing the forest for the trees... thanks for the reminder! I enjoy your posts as they are very inspirational and thought-provoking as well as gentle reminders that it's all about perception and that is our choice. Struggle, joy, whatever - we have the ability to choose and it's all about where we each are as individuals at any given time. I've held on to struggle for a bit too long, it no longer serves me! Again thanks for the reminder - have a great evening - Colleen

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Col #73271 08/04/09 11:50 AM
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Yeah, and no mentioning religions and how they may, or may not relate to the Law Of Attraction because that's not what this thread is all about, and we should all respect that.

Carry on!

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Inchiki Gaijin #73272 08/04/09 01:01 PM
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 Originally Posted By: Inchiki Gaijin
Yeah, and no mentioning religions and how they may, or may not relate to the Law Of Attraction because that's not what this thread is all about, and we should all respect that.

Carry on!


Inchiki,

It appears to me that you are attempting to use sarcastic humor to make a point, and I find myself feeling a bit annoyed. I can't help but wonder what other emotion lurks behind this post. Are you having a hard time with the request I've made for less philosophical debate on threads that are original intended to be action-oriented? If so, why not say so directly?

I am a native New Yorker so I certainly understand and have plenty of personal experience with sarcasm. I don't do it anymore, because I have made a commitment to feeling and expressing my feelings to others congruently, and not through a kind of tangential use of humor (which is what I consider sarcasm to be).

I don't own or run this forum. I only made a simple request of people. You are free to either honor it or not. My request of you is that if you have a problem with something I've said, communicate what you are truly feeling about it directly to me, either on this public forum or via private message.

Stevers

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Stevers #73274 08/04/09 01:44 PM
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Hi Stevers

I only PM people I like, so I'll say this on here:

Remember rule number 6!

Is that direct enough?




Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Inchiki Gaijin #73276 08/04/09 03:08 PM
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 Quote:
Is that direct enough?


Inchiki,

Actually, since you asked - No. ;\)

Stevers

Re: Giving Up - Follow Up
Linda Carroll #73277 08/04/09 05:57 PM
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Hi Linda,
It sounds as if you are putting a lot of energy into the logical, mental effort of figuring out what to do. The Sedona Method that our friends are recommending is one of various approaches to releasing the anxiety you are experiencing in that effort. One of the early exercises in ES is found on CD 1, Track 3. It offers a meditation in which you receive a symbol relating to the next step you might need to be taking at this time. Once you receive it, it is suggested that you ponder its meaning and ask it what it has to say to you.
On track 6 of that same CD is a life purpose meditation that is also valuable - especially, I think, in the position you describe yourself to be experiencing.
Sometimes we have to give up things, sometimes we have to give up activities. But some of the harder things to give up are thoughts - perspectives and attitudes.
I think you have started to let go of your need to figure out yourself what is next by opening up and asking us on the forum for help. Perhaps 'the universe' has something to offer that you can find by starting with those two ES meditations. Would love to hear about your results.
May you create some personal peace today.
Margaret Ida

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