Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Searching for Hope . . . .

I've searched. I've tried. I've invested. I've given. I've studied. I've spent countless hours, time, effort, and money. I've delayed gratification until it hurts, and at age 43 I find myself still waiting for life to begin, because it never has.

Life knocks you down so many times that it becomes harder and harder and harder to get back up just one more time, and that's where I find myself. I'm so tired of the battle, of self-improvement that leaves me high and dry, of promises unfulfilled, that I find myself reaching out for one last strand of hope. It's like I'm crawling in a street of mud and looking up, there is only rain. There is no more will, because there is no more hope.

My life has been a continuous struggle, and I'm trying to find the will for just one more battle. I really need a turnaround soon. Is there any hope left for a battle weary sojourner?? Are there any real answers???

[This message has been edited by Texas Bob (edited March 12, 2005).]

Ok Bob this might not be what your looking for, yet, as i read your post i just had to reply, i am not as old as you, 32 well almost anyway, yet i have had some really really painful times in my life, and i to have felt so lost so many times, that i thought about giving up, yet, the one thing that woke me up from my dazzzzz, was this little idea, now its a secret well it was till i posted it upon LSC. go in to the bathroom and look in the mirror and look at your self in the eyes. and ask your self this question.... "what do i want with the rest of my life?" keep looking at your self in the eyes and ask again what to i really really want with my life.... now ask your self with all this time i have spent doing what i have done upon till now, what have i learnt? what can i do with all this learnig that i have already? and what would happen if i just stopped looking ...... at what i didn't have..... and looked at what i have....... now what would happen if you went to bed, and woke up with a new idea about not looking for the answers, or anything else, and just doing what you can do in this given moment.. right now.... i fonud that i have spent over £10.0000 in over ten years. on books tape etc, etc, and what i learnt most from all this, is knowing its, taking responceabilty, for ones own life, emotional well being and knowing that, if we meaning you and I and everyone else. take just a little time, and stop and look at where we are, right now, we can then say well this does not look, sound or feel right, so i have to try this, this and this, so i know how things are feeling good, looking right, and sounding just how there should.

then look in the mirror from time to time and ask your self what do i want, what do i have, what might i need, and is what i am doing getting me, all of the things that i am asking for..

Bob stop looking, you have what you have, do your best, stand tall, know that your right to be happy, strog and anything else is already with you.. Bob just for today when you look in the mirror smile, and say something like this, using a strog voice, I never quit. go for a walk.. the answers you are looking for you already know them...

"beauty is a heart beat in a thunder storm"

Hi Bob,
I know how you feel.I have been a "seeker" all my life.I have felt like there is an answer to life and i have been seeking the answers for so long.I have spent thousands of dollars on self help material like you and im going to tell you about the only thing that has worked.It's called holosync.It is a meditaion cd that you listen to for an hour a day and it automatically puts you in a meditative state.It's wonderful! I have only been using it since December, and it takes about 3 years to go through the whole program, but it works!I am on my second level.This program helps you raise your threshold for what you can handle coming at you from the world and your enviroment.It makes you more peaceful,calm,happy and feel at peace with everything.I used to worry about money all the time and after my first week using holsync i noticed i was'nt worrying as bad.I feel a change in myself i have never experieced with anything else.You don't notce the changes all at once, but one day you'll wake up a few weeks later after starting holsync and realize you have changed.The changes are suble at first, but with continued use they get bigger and better.I love this program and honestly think it is a God send to people like me who felt hopeless.I was as bad as they come when i foud holsync and now i have hope again.I know holsync works.I wish it worked faster, but it takes time for true change to take hold.Check it out at www.centerpointe.com.

Also, Bill Harris, the founder of centerpointe is the most caring man i have ever dealt with.he helps you with anything you need and really cares about his cutomers.He even has a supoort line set up for holsync users incase they need to talk to a counselor or need help in any way.Holsync helps you release negative emotions and resistance happens sometimes.It's all worth it thogh.check out his website.Hope this helps.
Daphne

I can relate.

When I get to the point where I wonder whether the struggle will ever end, I usually just plain give up. The hardest part is realising that I'm the one who created the stuggle. I lay down the rules of if... if I don't have enough money... If I don't travel... If no one calls me on my birthday... If I don't get this that or the other finished by...

90% of the time it is I who made the rules that leave me overwhelmed and underachieving

This is the time when I really need to "Do the Work". Because not only am I trying to pick myself up by the boot straps. I'm standing on the straps!

If you haven't got the Abundance For Life course you may not be familiar with the Feeling Exercise or the Work.

In your case I do suggest you try The Work.
The book Loving What Is by Bryon Katie is a a foundation of how The Work, works. (sorry I know that sounds odd)

Check out her website. www.thework.org head to the resources link and do the Work.

"The Work" is taught in the Abundance for Life course. That and the Feeling Exercise are great tools for the battle worn.

Alex

Among other things, I've done both Holosync and the Sedona Method. I experienced a great deal of Overwhelm and was actually worse off as result. Their support line was incredible, however.

The Sedona Method was more of a quick fix that allows you to get through the moment, but it has yet to actually deliver any quantifiable results. It allows you to "let whatever happens be ok" but it still remains that this has been a lifelong struggle, and I'm still no closer to leading what you would call a fulfilling life.

The Abundance course? Maybe it's a good course, but is everything really my fault??? I somehow expected such a response. Ok, so "you create your own reality". I guess I could choose to live in denial and pretend everything is ok. When things were really bad that's exactly what I had to do. It was a survival mechanism. I had to literally find just one thing that went well each and every day just to get by. When I hear a message that says even though you've been working on yourself your whole life that your circumstances are still your fault I just want to throw up my arms. The message I hear is that no matter what I do, it's never enough. I'm so worn out over trying to do the "right thing" all the time. I've always taken the high road. I take responsibility. I'm not saying that I'm looking for some sort of pannacea or to reach some pinnacle of success, although that would be nice. I work hard on the job and I work hard on myself, still the struggle continues.

Go back to school? Again??? Take yet another self improvement course? Again??? I've been there, and done that over and over again. I hope you understand when I say that I've been doing this all my life. So why jump through more hoops yet again when my experience has taught me that it's just not worth it?

I just don't know if there's any hope left.

[This message has been edited by Texas Bob (edited March 16, 2005).]

What do you want to achive? You talk about a life not starting. My life has started to kick in after a long wait. Sometimes I look back and wonder if it really was worth it. It would be too simple to just say yes.

What is a struggle free day for you?

About AFL and other you-create-your-own-reality-philosophies.. I have by no means chosen an easy path and I've felt as the creator of my own miseries. Did it help to know that I've created it all? Not exactly. Sure I've manifested cool stuff once in a while and those have been the times when it's been worth it. I'm pretty much aware many times that I do things that are stupid from a creator-perspective, yet I still do them. I used to be a heavy-duty creator but I've put most of the abilities on the shelf for now. Mostly I get aware of it when hell shows up and I have to think twice about whos dunnit.

A question: Are you an introverted person trying to get more of the extroverted life?

Who say's you've failed at self improvement?

Who say's you need self improvement?

Who says you are not where you should be?

Who do you compare yourelf with to answer these questions?

Advertising has successfully made us feel like inferiour human beings when we don't live in the right kind of house, don't drive the right car, Don't holiday in all the right places.

Worse of all advertising has made us feel like we don't have a life because we are too busy working to afford all the right stuff that we should have, do and be.

Advertising works by making a product first and then fueling a demand. And do you know the rule of advertising? If the product is just doesn't meet the 7 basic human needs you have to make it fit one of those 7 human needs. One of the human needs is to procreate... so cars and soft drinks are positioned as enhancers for sex appeal. Now if you're not driving the right car or drinking the right soft drink you don't have sex appeal. The second rule in advertising is don't make it obvious how the product is being position other wise human logic will reject it outright.

Okay the reason for my talk on advertising...

You were sold the idea that you're not good enough not allowed to let life begin until you've got everything right.

By accepting all that you created your reality.

Heck... just your downer thoughts as you've explained on the forum are creating exactly what you don't want... more of the same feeling that you still have to fix everything until you "May" start your life.

When you start lifing your life, what is that going to look like? what will you be doing? This is difficult I know because most of the stuff we say we want we are not even sure we want them because we were sold on them. I mean the idea of living on an island sounds great but first we have to have 'got it made.' But dumb when you consider people are lifing on islands earning a heck of a lot less and enjoying being unencumbered by posssessions enjoying the surf and beaches.

So you need to ask yourself what you really want

Then ask yourself, is it true that you have to fix something before you can start living the life you would enjoy.

Alex

I often feel like that Texas Bob. Oases are a rare find. But I'm sure you have and will find them on your path. Drink deeply when you get the experiences you need to feel fulfilled, that your thirst will be quenched enough for you to continue on your way. I think it is one of the beatitudes of Jesus that you are blessed if you are spiritually hungry, I think He said that because only then can you experience true soul-fulfillment. Fulfilling experiences are like oases in a desert, but I believe that this life on earth is mainly desert and the life after-the perfect oasis. Sometimes an oasis can be as simple as saying "YES! I did it!". Pat yourself on the back sometimes, you deserve and need it. Ask a significant person in your life what they think is good about you or your achievements. Drink deeply from others praise for you. Ask for it, make sure you get it. Ask a woman to boost your ego, tell her that you appreciate it and that you needed that good piece of her mind.

If you find that you are not connecting with other people's love or praise for you, I have found the Prosperity paraliminal to be very helpful for me in that area. Use your figurative language that you have used in the above, but use it in the positive. What metaphor really rings your bells for you? What metaphor turns rain into sunshine? Do a bit of soul-searching to find what experience would really quench your thirst. Seek that experience, revel in it, be glad you did. Find something that is enough for you. Ask for exactly what you want - nothing less. Be a good receiver. Treat yourself. Ask for love.

Thanks to all for your replies. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I realize that I'm working through a battle of the mind right now, whether it be resistance or some other label is subject to debate. All I know is that I've worked very hard at my job, my education, and personal development and am still just trying to eke out a meager subsistence.

What do I want? How about plumbing that works, a floor without holes in it. Being able to go to the dentist. Sheets for my bed. Heat in the winter. Air conditioning in my car. To have a home that I'm not ashamed for a visitor to see. Maybe even some money in the bank for an eventual retirement. That's not unreasonable is it?

Basically, I would like to be able to afford to resolve issues as they arise. To be able to enjoy a quality of life by knowing that I have the available cash flow to do what I need, and on occasion to even do what I want.

Am I an introvert wanting to be more of an extrovert? Sure. I enjoy the company of good people and want to be able to share my life with others. I do have a problem with opening my life as it is right now, and there has been a history of fear of rejection as a result. I'm great once I get to know someone, I just feel like I need to have something to offer.

As for the Prosperity tape, I listen to it regularly. As you can probably surmise, it's not working. I'm considering buying the new CD with Holosync and HOPING that it will work. Another paraliminal I'm wondering about is Automatic Pilot. I searched the forum and it doesn't really have much to say about it. Or maybe New History Generator?

I'm just a little bit cautious about the new holosync paraliminals though. I experienced a lot of overwhelm when I was doing the Centerpointe Holosync tapes. I know it doesn't affect everyone the same way, however.

Ultimately, what I'm trying to accomplish is a higher quality of life and enough money to be there. I use the word "be" rather than "get" because it seems I'm constangly striving. It would be so nice to be able to just be for a change. It's like the commercial for the alternative energy companies where you keep seeing the price go up even as you're already on your way. I've been looking forward to the day I might arrive for so long, that I wonder if the trip is worth the passage any more.