Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Diamond Feng Shui Angry with family members for cluttering

I just listened to the free Diamond Feng Shui course a couple of weeks ago and I decided to start with cleaning and decluttering room by room. I love the results. BUT I now have a major problem. Everytime one of my kids or husband clutters or otherwise messes up an area that I just spent precious hours cleaning and decluttering I get sooo angry with them. I feel like I just traded mental chaos and stress in for anger... not really the result I was hoping for. Anyone have an advice about this? Do I just need to get over it and happily clean up their messes day in and day out or is there something better I can be doing to actually get them to either clean up after themselves or have them not mess things up in the first place?

Hi Energygirl2013,

I've been doing spiritual counselling for over forty years so I would like to suggest some ideas to you.

Firstly, congratulations on taking the plunge. Obviously, you were spiritually ready to make changes in your life. The best way for others to "catch your bug" is through being a role model. If your family was used to living in a specific environment - one that you've changed - and they are not yet gung-ho about changing that, or perhaps they aren't even remotely aware of your mission, it will be challenging to get them to make a change.

You did not mention the ages of your children and that plays a very important part in how you relate your new lifestyle to them. One thing you need to keep in mind is that frustration causes blockages: physical, mental, emotional and Feng Shui-al. Think for a moment how you would react if your 2 year old son spilled his milk at breakfast. Do you become angry? Do you mete out a punishment and, if so, is it a constructive one for your son? Do you say to yourself, "Yes, he spilled the milk, I have to clean him up, clean up the table, stop and buy gasoline, get to work on time, etc. etc."? Or, do you say to yourself "He's only two and has not yet perfected his dexterity and motoric responses."? Obviously he is going to be spilling things for the next year or so until he learns the necessary skills needed to hold the glass properly.

It's different if your children are teens and there are different ways to relate to them. Perhaps you can use your knowledge of Feng Shui to help facilitate them in other areas of their lives in which they are facing challenges. After all, actions speak louder than words and if you can impart to your children tools that are easy enough for them to perform and which will help them with THEIR needs, they are more likely to pay attention when you speak to them about Feng Shui.

Your feeling like a maidservant is closing off your energy. You will never "happily" clean up their messes.

Let me suggest that you have a family conversation over dinner and explain how passionate you really are about your knew endeavor. Let your family understand that even if Feng Shui does not interest THEM, you would appreciate their respect and assistance in straightening up after themselves.

I am a true believer in rewarding people for a job well done. People of all ages enjoy being rewarded and also in helping others. If your family understands that they are HELPING YOU by straightening up their clutter and you remunerate them with something age/gender-appropriate and personal to them, from my extensive experience, you will see magic.

You just need to keep in mind that these things take some time.

Should nothing really seem to work, I suggest you make one room or one corner of a room your PERSONAL space. Keep that area uncluttered and asthetic. Work with color, decor, plants, etc. and tell your family members that, while they are invited to use that area, they need to request permission beforehand. If they ask permission, use the opportunity to find out WHY they want to be in that particular area. Does it make them feel different that the other places in the house? If they say it makes them feel good or calm or any other positive feeling, use that as a spring board to introduce them to Feng Shui and offer to help that child create his/her own special place.

You can also have a family contest. Purchase a journal and enable anyone to include an entry of what they did, how they felt, any outcomes from using Feng Shui. Whoever has the most entries at the end of whatever time period you decide will get to choose which restaurant s/he would like to visit or any other age/gender-appropriate reward. If it's a young child, you can suggest that if they keep their room orderly for a certain period of time, you will buy them a gift.

Undoubtedly there are people in this forum that are knowledgeable in how Feng Shui might be used to help you. At this point in time, my expertise is in spiritual counselling, family interaction and parenting. With everyone's input, you should be able to move forward, bring your family with you and enjoy a more blessed life.

All the best,
Abmastralight

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved!

Aloha energygirl2013,

Good insights from Abmastralight.

If you haven't done so, do a clearing /release the energy of the room/home with Level One's P.43 technique. Marie doesn't go into a space to FS without energetically clearing the house first. Decluttering a higher energetic, than going to the slower, more physical energetics can help. The diary technique or something similar that gets them to "feel" a difference in the room is big. As Abmastralight alludes to - bringing awareness, can bring new choices and self-instigated change.

Appreciate any shift in the direction of "uncluttered."

Much Love,

Shawn

Thank you both Abmastralight and Shawn. My kids are ages 7 and 10, so they are in that inbetween age. They should be able to pick up after themselves quite a bit but they rarely do without someone nagging them to do so. I actually did have a breakthrough of my own a week or so ago because of my younger son's age. Now every time I go into the bathroom and it looks like a toothpast bomb went off all over the walls and countertop and mirror (and I already cleaned it once that day!) I think about the very tragic event that happened in Newton Conn. I tell myself that probably every single one of those parents would give everything they have to be able to clean a toothpaste explosion in their bathroom everyday again. And even though it makes me very very sad to think about their tragic losses, it also makes me extremely grateful that my kids are alive and happy and healthy and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to clean up after them. It really does only take a couple of minutes to clean the bathroom. So I feel like I traded in my anger for gratitude, which is a good start! I would have preferred if the trade didn't involve extreme sadness but I'll take what I can get for now.

Ambrastalight, I do like the rest of your advice as well. I've done several of those things already but only in bits and pieces and I haven't been consistent about any of it.

I'll also have to check out the energy clearning techniques that Shawn mentioned.

Thanks again for the great advice, I can't wait to implement it and reap the energetic rewards.