Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Grief (and Apathy) - anyone

Hi,

I don’t know if this is the right place to post but can anyone advice on dealing with Grief and Apathy.

Basically I have a lot of grief (and apathy) inside but it is not to do with a death but more to do with issues that I have never been able to resolve from my childhood. Whilst my adult mind says: forgive and forget, get on with life – the world is your oyster, onwards and upwards, the past is the past – I’m an adult now – I see things differently, somehow, I just can’t seem to shift how I really felt inside back then and, I guess how I really feel inside right now. Always there is this hurt or pain that I can block out for the most part (and hide from the rest of the world) but then all of a sudden, when you least expect it, it creeps back with a vengeance and takes me back to square one every time without fail. It’s like living in a vicious endless circle. Never being able to progress – two steps forwards and one step back. My adult self says - yes, it’s time to move on but my inner child just won’t let go. I have just come to realise that these feelings are indeed Grief (and Apathy).

Has anyone used any method - meditation, paraliminals, subliminals, hypnosis, protocols, books, courses, whatever….!! to help relieve some of the grief/apathy that they have carried around. If so, please could you advise on what you have found helpful.

Many Thanks
SonicOne

PS I am currently reading (and working) on the Sedona Method and have a long way to go: it is here that I have just realised that guilt and apathy is where my pain lies.

Check out www.radicalforgiveness.com.

If you just have enough energy to work through the roughest and most painful areas of your emotions you might break through to higher levels of functioning. Because I know from experience that when you feel apathy you don't even feel like working on the solutions to your apathy. It's a circle, and you can get out of it if you have enough energy to do the things you need to do to get out of it. You probably know there are many possible methods of healing, but you just have to have the energy to do them. So find a way to increase your energy.

Another point, is that in some clinical illnesses like clinical depression, the depression is so bad that it affects your chemistry, and then hands you apathy on a golden platter as if you needed the precious gift.

In some cases people definitely need antidepressants. But I wouldn't go with that in a hurry, there are many alternatives to boosting your energy. Boosting your energy is what I would look at first. I don't claim to know much about unblocking energy in the body, but it does make sense that blocked energy can cause a lack of energy, or apathy. So I would look at unblocking your energy. One of the most powerful creative energy sources in us as human beings is our sexuality, so if you are having problems in this area I would look at healing for this area.

I'm sure many would recommend Spring Forest Qigong for unblocking energy.

Keep trying, and never give up!

I find spring forest qigong helps me to have more energy, and doing the seated meditations before bed helps me sleep better, which also gives me more energy.

Radical Forgiveness (see link in my post above) helps you to let go of some of your emotional baggage, and it takes a lot of energy to hold onto that baggage.

I had a "horrible" childhood, and have spent my entire adult childhood slowly but surely healing. I can tell you...there is no way out buy through it. All the books and tapes and meditations and all that stuff all help a little bit and it adds up. The last thing that helped me the most was to stop trying to "let go" and "move on" and all that and to just accept...I will always be haunted...I will always be rough around the edges and carry dark secrets...and to just be okay with that and accept that everyone suffers...my son is hungry...gotta go...good luck

Sorry..."adult childhood"? I meant "time since my childhood".

Good grief!
Really, grief is good, (not pleasant) as long as you work through it completely and then move on.

I think it was Bly who wrote that grief is like a murky pond, and a pearl is on the bottom. The only way is to dive all the way down, then come back up.

It does not have to take long, but it needs to be complete...

As for paraliminals, try New History Generator. I love that one, I find it very useful.

Dive in, and come back with the pearl!

vitaman

Read the story & the practice link

May you be well

Hi SonicOne,

I also had a childhood that haunts me. Try 10 to 40 minutes of Spring Forest Qigong for just feeling better. 10 Minute Supercharger can also give you a boost when you’re down and don’t have much time.

Avoiding spiraling down into depression and apathy often comes down to refusing to get too down. One helpful exercise when I start getting down on myself is to visualize a stop sign and then say “Stop!”, either in my mind or out loud. I keep saying it until it gets boring, and then I go on to something else. This usually works with feelings of being putupon too. Another thing is the oldie-but-goodie: get some exercise. A walk around the block is can work the proverbial wonders. (Try to go outside if you can. It makes a big difference.) Deep breathing is helpful, especially if on every exhale, you imagine yourself breathing out black smoke or some other substance that it feels really great to get rid of.

As for paraliminals, I've found that Instantaneous Personal Magnetism ("IPM") has been very helpful when I’m dealing with grief and the “what’s the use” apathy that can come with it, not because IPM is a way to escape, but because it lifts me up and thus helps me gain perspective when a memory has dragged me down into that black dungeon. (When I first started doing this work years ago, I had nightmares of myself in chains and rags being led down slimy stone steps into darkness by my therapist. Believe me, I know the drill.)

If I have time to do a paraliminal, and I feel really, really awful from some of the work, I’ll go to a large mirror and literally take a good look at myself. Instead of saying to myself, “You look awful!” I'll pick one aspect of my image that I want to change (my posture, the look in my eyes, how I move, etc.). Then I follow the instructions in the IPM booklet: I pick a role model who projects the image I would like to project in that area, and then run the recording. It’s amazing how quickly it gets me out of the dumps! Once I’ve cheered up a little, I’m better able to deal with whatever memory it was that made me so sad.

Lest all this sounds a bit superficial, please know that I’m not saying you should try to avoid grieving; I’ve learned from hard experience that doesn’t work in the long run. But if you find yourself so down that your life is one long pain, using IPM a time or two a week can really help you gain perspective. You can't order yourself to feel things you don't; you can, however, practice thinking things you don't usually think, and with that, your feelings will gradually change. At bottom, I think that's what paraliminals are all about.

Counseling is also always an option.

I recommend the book “Depression” by Cheri Huber, first recommended to me by a counselor. Appropriately, it has a black cover and it’s parts of it are pretty funny. Don’t be deceived by it’s simplicity or its humor, though. It is far from simplistic or superficial. I recommended Ms. Huber’s book “How to Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be” in another post, and I think you would get a good deal out of that, too. The author went through serious depression herself, and her story is remarkable.

As for the two-steps-forward-one-step-back process you mention, well, that’s just the way it is, I’m sorry to say, but it doesn't mean you have to spiral downward or walk in that vicious circle. Concentrate on the progress you make: I’ve heard the “let it go” refrain, too: it’s like hearing Martian, right? What does THAT mean? But if you keep lifting yourself up with the types of things recommended in these posts and the steps you’ve already started taking, eventually you’ll discover that you’ve crossed a huge amount of ground. It really can get easier if you keep at it, and you’ll discover that without realizing it, you’ve let a lot of stuff go. By the way, for me, “let it go” has always occurred that way. There’s never been an epiphany where I feel like I’ve dropped a huge weight or that life has become only strides in the sunshine. Maybe you’re like that too.

Sorry this is so long – no time to edit!

Good luck, and blessings on you!