You look at is as trying to eliminate a bad habit. That's all or nothing thinking. Think instead what habit you would have in social situations if the habit didn't dominate. How would you be around people that is different from what you currently experience?
One thing is never the root cause of all our woes. It's a creative excuse to think If I just get rid of this one problem everything in my life will will be perfect.
To eliminate one thing that you believe is the root of all your problems is a great risk. Something that affects what you do in so many areas of your life is based on your personal values. And your values are the foundation of what you are.
Nature hates a void and if you eliminate a behaviour you create a void. To create a void topples the you... you no longer have a foundation for your being. Something has to fill that void that you just eliminated. Guess what you're going to get? Exactly what you've been doing and more. Because that's what we know we haven't got any other habits to call on.
The instant we desire to eliminate something we do. And in the next instant nature has filled the void again. That's why sometimes the harder we try to get rid of bad behaviours the more stubborn they seem to become. What we resist must persist because that's what we strengthen by fighting it.
Our attention to our weeds gives them sustenance. They thrive on the energy we put into trying to eradicate them. Meanwhile the flowers of our good are ignored. We are too busy to notice that we have these tiny seeds of potential while they patiently wait their turn for attention their growth is slow almost non existent.
What is the best thing to do? Give your attention to that which you want to grow. Right now the weeds are bigger and stronger. If you turn to nurture those seeds of potential instead the weeds are still there however in those seeds of potential become bigger and stronger than the weeds.
New Behaviour Generator gives you new behaviour options that allow you to nurture habits that you better options. Skills that you have been applying to other areas of your life which can be adapted to serve you in more.
That's the point of courses like Boundless Renewal, Natural Brilliance, Resiliency Abundance for Life and the Paraliminals.
We live in a world of dualism we cannot experience one thing without the potential to experience another. You cannot know calm without knowing anger. You cannot know how to be selfish and not know how to be generous too.
We're not broken. We live our lives according to what we give our attention to. These courses are to remind us that we can make choices and change what we give our attention to and change how we experience our lives.
Boundless Renewal is a reminder to take the time to nurture ourselves, to appreciate and return our attention to our seeds of potential of inner peace.
The Paraliminals are ways to take time out to return our attention to the seeds of potential in specific areas we feel we've been neglecting.
If you would like personal coaching with the New Behaviour Paraliminal e-mail me. The may be ways to make a shift that you haven't thought of and it might be easier if you would like to talk about it in more detail privately.
Alex
