Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Abundance for Life, Effortless Success I need friends!

Hi everyone! Let me begin by telling a little of my journey...
I had a rotten childhood with no love, severe abuse,abondonment,and all the other "crap" of a dysfunctional family. OK. So, I moved 2,000 miles away from my family to a place I wanted to be 6 years ago. I have made leaps and bounds! I have recently began improving my life even more by using Holosync and Abundance for Life. I was on antidepressants,and a whole list of other meds for 17 years, in 10 weeks of meditation,exercise,and other great stuff, I am now off of everything! I am struggling with trying to find my place, trying to get beyond poverty and pain. In my move and my attempt to build a life I want I have chosen not to be around people that have negitive thinking and disruptive ways of living their lives. Now I want to have good people in my life and I am having difficulty finding them. I am so lonely. I really want to share my life with like minded people, find honest support, be accepted and loved. Is there any body out there?

Good people and good friend have a variety of interest and to be accepted and loved by honest people you need to be accepting and loving of them. Otherwise you're building a barrier. You also need to notice the little things that people do around you that show you that they do love you and care for you. It comes in the most unexpected ways.

Also saying "I am so lonely" is just going to keep you in that state, choose differently.

Alex

Hey man my email is Hachita4849@aol.com. I've been through some rough times but I find your move 2000 miles away and everything you've been through to be inspiring. You've got alot of heart man. We all came into this life without our asking and at times it may have felt like a meaningless roller coaster but we're here and while we're here our ultimate purpose is to live fully and just connect with those around us unselfconsciously. Just surrender, get involved in something, open yourself you've got nothing to lose and no rush, I'll say a prayer that you find your way. Take care.

Alex,
I get what it is that you are saying to me and I understand the power of words. I think you need to know that I was having a "down" feeling and I am DOING something about it by asking for friends. Give me credit! Your post made me cry.

meeladaj
My post was intended to encourage you to see that you have within you more choices. It it made you cry then there must have been an element of truth in my words for you.

I hope you did an Inquiry Process on it, if not please do.

I understand where you are coming from. There is a lot that you don't know about me and I can honestly say through experience that being down isn't when or where we find friends. We're just too plain self centered to notice them then. My best friends are the people around me who tell me when my thinking is letting me down. When I'm saying stuff that isn't going to help me. If what I'm doing isn't working I need to do something differently. My friends will often help me to see where I got myself stuck.

There have been people around me that have sympathised with my plight however it doesn't really help change anything. It might have stoked my ego to feel justified for feeling sorry for myself but in the long run that never helped. I've had friends who suggested that what I was saying wasn't serving me and the truth did hurt. It was the recognition that I was giving my power away. The choice then became mine.

So,feel the feeling exactly as is is don't try to change it. Know from your experiences so far that you will will have have those friends you seek to have around you. It is just another part of the process.

Real friendship doesn't happen over night it's give and take. And remember I cannot be a potential friend if I don't respond.

Alex

Dear one,

Alex is probably right but that's not really the point at the moment, is it? What's so difficult about having been abused is that no one can possibly ever really know, really get, what you've been through. And that seems sad, except that there's something beautiful in it, too. No one will ever be able to do what you can do; no one will ever know what you know. And that will help people in ways you haven't yet begun to imagine!

I too was taken aback by Alex's bluntness. Any sentence that begins with "You need to.." suddenly seems to spin me back to a place where I am feeling bossed around as opposed to encouraged. Much as I hate to hear it, I find myself saying it to others, too. The truth is that he was giving you sound advice, but that's hard to hear when it reminds you of some other place or person.

You have friends. You just don't quite know who they are yet. I want you to know that when I read your posting, I was very impressed and proud of you for making so many great efforts to uncover who you really are. You're doing great. Be patient and loving with yourself.

Badria

Meeladaj

I've been where you are and I know how difficult it can be.

Some people are born with this great loving support network all around them, and then there are those of us who have to work to find it. I have found the people who have this loving network haven't a clue what they have, and cannot relate to someone not having support is all.

Some practical suggestions! Try not to focus on what you don't have, but give a prayer of thanksgiving for everything you do have, however minimal you see it to be. You will have lots of things to be thankful for if you just look, just a few might be (1) good physical health (2) the ability to earn a living (3)to be living in a place of your own choice. (4) your youth and the future ahead of you. - Just keep looking for things about your life to be thankful for.

Join as many things as you can think of and can afford to do. Church is Free, Health clubs, walk in the park near where you live. Start out by looking around you for just one person who you connect with, you may have to kiss a lot of toads but eventually you will find that one person. Then build on that one friend at a time. It's easier for two people to build a support group, then when you have two people you connect with build it to three.

Just keep working on it and before you know it you will have a small group of friends.

I feel your pain and wish you the very best, most of all believe in yourself. Focus on one day at a time, plan for the future, but live each day as though it is the only day you have been given.

Good luck and God bless

I wish to thank you for your responces. I am glad to hear your words of encouragement and understanding. I asked, and I recieved exactly what I needed from all of you. I am blessed indeed! I am on a learning journey and I have found that when I say what I mean and tell how I feel, everything works out. I like that!
Meeladaj

Hi Meeladaj,
Telling your life is an experience. Thank you for your sharing.
Though my teens and 20's I wanted people to like me, to accept me for who I am. Cause I was lonely.
I began practicing meditation and found my inner peace. It all begins within.I soon met friends that I enjoy being with.

Short story: "A young man traveled to a new town. Before he entered the town he saw an old man on the road and asked what kind of town it was. The old man looked up at the young man and asked him how was life at the town he came from. The young man said his town was hateful and people ruthless. The old man told the young man that this town is no different.

On the same day, another young man came to the town and asked the old man what kind of town it was. The old man looked up to the young man and asked him how was life at the town he came from. The young man said his town is prosperous with joyful people every where. The old man told the young man that this town is no different."

Meeladaj, before you go to the party to make friends, you must first bring the spirit of friendship with you.

Investor50, what type of meditation do you practice?