Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Abundance for Life, Effortless Success I need friends!

Hi bhenry,
Have you heard of "Contemplative Meditation"?
Going within, being still and reflect inner peace. A spiritual path.

Great Story, sounds like a nice town.

meeladaj, you have come to a good place. I won't go into detail, but I understand where you've been and where you are now. But hey, you now have a lot going for you!

1) You should be commended for going the extra mile (ha! all 2,000 of them) to follow your heart and find your way within, and without.

2) You've had the insight and foresight to seek the assistance of Learning Strategies programs. You therefore are pointed in the direction of excellence.

3) You have literally freed yourself from dependence on medical drugs.

4) Your decision to separate yourself from negative influences took guts. You risked being temporarily alone, but not lonely, as you chose hope in the new, and faith in the future.

5) You are very genuine. What you see is what you get. No facades, barriers, or attitudes.

6) In your profile, I noticed your interests. You said, "improving the quality of my life and of those around me". That alone, says a lot about you, and where you are headed.

I know what you mean, when you say that positive people, much less those who wish to be friends, are hard to find. Everyone seems to be tightly wrapped up in their own lives, with no vacancy for a new person, especially if they haven't been formally introduced to them. But you know what? That can change. JUST NOW, AS I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, I RECEIVED AN ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM.

You see, most people pretty much get what they expect, no matter how loving, thoughtful, and caring they might be. You and I are both proof of that. So this is what I propose: From now on, let's reprogram our expectations, and be casually but thoroughly convinced that we always naturally attract into our realm, IN PERSON, positive people of like mind. It's always easy to find people online, so we aren't really focusing too much on that aspect of it.

Let me give you an example of how it works. You see, for years, every time I'd be shopping (usually at Wal-Mart), there would never be any employees nearby, when I needed them. Then, if I finally spotted someone from a distance, they would then turn around a walk the other way! It never failed! So you know what I finally did? I decided that from then on, I was going to "will" that any time I needed someone, there would always be a clerk close by, and easily attained. And it worked!! It was so funny. I marveled at it, and laughed to myself whenever it would happen. Sometimes there would even be two and three of them at a time, within my reach! Of course, there may be 2% of the time when this might not happen, but it's only because there is a good reason for it, so that you may be benefited in ways that you are unaware. So don't worry about it.

I did the same thing with parking places. Now, I almost always get a great spot, and whenever someone is with me in the car, they always say, "Wow! You're lucky. I never get a good parking place." (Now you know why.)

One day I was exiting onto I-20, reminding myself of how much I hated doing it, because it can be stressful and potentially dangerous. So I made up my mind, right then, that no longer would I have to slow down, hoping that someone would be polite and move over so that I could enter the Interstate. (I'm not one to rudely pull out in front of a speeding car!) No, I WANT the runway to be CLEAR for take-off, so that I can speed up and enter like you're supposed to be able to do! Needless to say, I now have the Interstate free and clear, or at least in the lane I'm entering. And I do not have to slow down. When I hit the Interstate, I'm going almost as fast as the people who are already driving on it.

Well, meeladaj, there's no reason why we can't do this same thing, pertaining to positive friends who share similar interests. Instead of paying attention to the discouraging statistics of the natural realm, let's casually and nonchalantly think to ourselves, and shrug, "No matter where I go or what I do, I'm just naturally lucky at attracting positive people, who would like me to be their friend. In fact, they're starting to come to me left and right, out of nowhere, and I think the world is somehow full of them!"

Get the picture?

Then let's do it!

(Come to think of it, the possibilities are endless!)

P. S. - You're always welcome to email me. Just click the envelope icon at the top of my post, and you'll see my email address.

[This message has been edited by SHEANIMA (edited September 10, 2004).]

Wow! you are so right! If I think good thoughts and I am knowing the truth about the Universe all is well. Sometimes I lose sight of this. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction and bringing what I know back into focus foe me.

Dear Sheanmima, thank you for such a lovely reply. I have created for myself a most difficult and lonely life, without ever realising it. Because of abuse and trauma early on I was always waiting for life to happen, for it to be my turn, then at 56 I have woken up to the fact it wouldn't andwithout my changing too. I have no idea how I can "find/build the family I have always longed for" I have no siblings, parents or children and have always felt very alone, unloved and unlovable. I think what you are saying is if I am prepared to believe I am worth knowing and loveable then loving people will come in to my life. Are you also saying it is never too late?

Dear loverofcats1948,

I want very much to post a letter to you, but I've been very busy. I apologize for not answering sooner.

I have a lot of things on the agenda for today, but as soon as I can, I will reply in detail.

Love,
SHEANIMA

loverofcats1948

Please don't feel dismayed, because you are not alone. Almost every other person on the face of this earth has created an extraordinary amount of difficulties for themselves, in some fashion or another. You and I just happened to be one of those many people. But guess what? We no longer fit that profile! This is because once you know the truth about it, and you put that truth into action by faith, you are free.

Have you listened to the "Self-Esteem Supercharger" and "Anxiety-Free" Paraliminals? These two tapes can be used for practically any challenge, because wherever there is despair and great difficulty, you will find fear and uncertainty. The self-esteem tape brings out reasons for, and promotes confidence, or certainty in yourself. The anxiety tape serves to guide you onto the right track of thinking, by helping you to find your strengths and "anchoring" them for future use, so that fear can no longer lay claim over you. And by all means, make sure you get "Personal Genius"! This will open up your abilities in ways that you never realized would exist.

And it's never too late for change! A negative outcome is never written in stone as the final result, because as human beings, we can alter that outcome by simply re-adjusting the way we think, behave, and believe. This miraculous transformation can happen, even at the last moment of life, as it alters the course of one's fate, and renews their lease on life. Life is a never-ending cycle of change, so where there is life, there lies the ability for change. The only time it's too late, is when a person is already gone.

The word "believe" seems to be somewhat vague, so I prefer to call it instead, as a child would see it... as MAKING BELIEVE. Remember how we used to do that? When we "make believe", we are "acting as if" things are a certain way, or that we are a certain way. The odd thing about it is, when you do this with strong expectancy, and you take definite steps of action to demonstrate your faith in that expectation, such as PREPARING for it, then you are "making" what you "believe" manifest into the physical realm; hence, you are making believe.

I remember listening to a girl being interviewed on a television program, about her very interesting experience. She desired so very much to be married. But she wanted it to be "right", and wouldn't settle for just anyone, simply out of loneliness. So as a demonstration of faith, she went to the store and bought a pair of men's shoes. She took them home and placed them at the foot of her bed, and then asked God to send her the right man into her life, who would be perfect for her... someone to "fill" those shoes. Well, it was less than a year, I think, that she met someone who was "right", and they became happily married. But it was interesting to note that HE WORE THAT SAME EXACT SHOE SIZE that she had selected to put at the foot of her bed!

You and I have a few things in common. I could never have children, and at the age of 30 I had to have a hysterectomy. However, I discovered, loverofcats1948, that life has a way of bringing to you, that which you are lacking, so that there is really no such thing as loss. For instance, since I don't have children, my niece and I have become close, and she sees me as her second mother. And I see her as the daughter I never had. Since I no longer have older family members (like grandparents, father, etc.), life has given me friendships that serve as surrogates in those areas. I haven't run across anyone to replace my mother, so I take that as a message that I am to be my own mother, until someone comes along to fit the bill.

At this point in time, I have 4 good, close friends (1 local, 3 long-distance), although probably only one of them would honor the true meaning of what love entails. Still, I take this in stride, and allow them into my heart, and I see them as my new, re-constructed family. Fair-weather and abusive relatives abound, but blessed are we who can accept others into our lives, as we tailor our own family to suit our needs and wishes. This is what I have done. I should state that this is more than what I had, before I started learning how to really change my life, and so I know my life will improve even more, as I continue to bring out the power, love, and sound thinking which resides within me.

I have also learned how to become a whole person, without the crutch of a love-match attachment. Most people don't realize it, but if you want to attract a fulfilled, well-adjusted mate, you will have to be fulfilled and well-adjusted, yourself. Society makes the mistake of believing that one's "other half" is out there somewhere, and they can't become complete or whole, until they've united with them. I bought into that typical view as well, and even though I dated some great guys (along with some not-so-great ones), and even married, none of those relationships survived. Like most everyone else, I made the mistake of seeing romantic love as a means of filling or solving the missing pieces of my life... something to "complete" me (as if God didn't do a good enough job). Not only is this reasoning irrational, those expectations are unreasonable and unfair to the other person, and it sets you up for perpetual failure in those relationships. When a half person attracts another half person, you do not have two whole persons but only 2 half persons! Do the math, and you'll see what I mean: 1/2 + 1/2 = 1, but 1 + 1 = 2 (which equal 2 WHOLE people).

Even though "opposites attract" in the area of personality, like attracts like, in the area of CONDITION. Whatever condition you are in, that is what you will attract. We should be using this law to our advantage, instead of to our disadvantage. Rather than seeing ourselves as incomplete without a mate, if we make believe that we are lovable, desirable winners, and whole in every way, we can then cause ourselves to accept the notion, and act accordingly, with less strain and effort. "Acting as if" includes making believe with your posture, your facial expressions, they way you move, how you speak, how you dress, and how you tend to your appearance. This also means doing and participating in those things which a whole, happy, well-adjusted person would take part. Making believe, means that in your imagination and heart, and in every fiber of your being, you become it. It is your reality. As you faithfuly practice this, life will soon respond in kind, and proceed to pick up this "message" of wholeness, fill the order, and send it back to you in the form of people and occurrences which match your new reality.

In addition to those Paraliminals I mentioned in the second paragraph, locate and order the book, "The Luck Factor: Changing Your Luck, Changing Your Life - The Four Essential Principles" by Richard Wiseman. This is a joy to read, and a real eye-opener. If you follow his instructions, you will start changing "bad luck" into good luck. Get a 3-ring binder, fill it with notebook paper, and use it to do your assignments he provides for you. Get colored highlighters to mark in the book and on your notes, to make it fun. Large colored paper clips make great bookmarks, and they don't fall out. I've already read The Luck Factor once, and I liked it so much that I'm going to read it again.

Also, please get the paperback, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. This thing is a lifesaver, and you won't be able to put it down.

Next, be sure to get, and start listening to right away, the tape by Zig Ziglar, entitled, "Success and the Self-Image". Follow every single step, and you will be transformed.

One more book, I have to add, is "Psycho Cybernetics" by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. He goes into detail about the results from studies done on the process of "acting as if". He wasn't too up on what we know now, as "the other than conscious mind", so you'll have to forgive him on that part, but everything else is vitally important and very useful. He was a remarkable man, with remarkable insight and knowledge of what makes a person "tick", and ways to improve your performance. Even though it's an old book, it's still a fascinating and useful read.

The Paraliminals are essential, because they get your mind thinking in the right sequence of patterns, so that other sources can be of help. Without the Learning Strategies' products, those other things will effect limited results. Yet re-programming and educating the mind by way of Paraliminals is only the start, and should not be taken as the end-all, because you need to take hands-on, real-life ACTION STEPS, too. ("Faith without works is dead.")

So shake a leg and get out there, and do those things that are required, and have fun by making believe!

AND PLEASE EMAIL ME! Click on the little red glasses at the top of my post, and you'll see my email address.

[This message has been edited by SHEANIMA (edited September 21, 2004).]

Please forgive me, loverofcats1948. While flipping through a few older topics, I found that you were actually married. In my previous post to you (above), I was under the impression that you weren't, since you didn't mention it.

That's okay, though. Maybe someone else reading that part of the letter can benefit from it.

Anyway, I hope you come back and read it. You need a big dose of HOPE in your life, and a helping hand to pull you out of that misery. But it's extremely difficult to lift dead weight, so always keep in mind that you need to use your own "leg and arm muscles", too, to assist us as we lift you up.

1) Act as if you are naturally BOLD and CONFIDENT.

2) Get some regular, vigorous physical exercise. TAKE DANCING LESSONS. Be brave, and GO OUT AND DANCE ONCE A WEEK. When you are strong, physically, you become stronger, mentally.

3) Watch your words and your thoughts. What you say and what you think, determine what you get. IF YOU WANT THE CAT, YOU DON'T CALL THE DOG. Do not speak or think lack. Regardless of the symptomatic appearances, convince yourself that you are completely joyful and happy, and prosperous, and FREE. Life will eventually begin to send you people, things, and opportunities that will match up with the energy that you are putting out.

P. S. - In that older post I read, you said that your husband is handicapped. What is his illness? Let me know, and I will pray specifically for his healing to manifest, if you want me to.

[This message has been edited by SHEANIMA (edited September 17, 2004).]

Loverofcats,

I know of many people that managed to get what they were looking for in their lives in many stages of their lives. The only requirement was they had to see that it was possible for them to achieve their dream.

I also know of many who found a family for the first time in their lives at an age greater than yours they became an important part of a family.

The people I meet did volunteer work one or 2 days a week and the most popular project was a grand friends one. Both kids and older volunteers gained a lot out of it and from time to time the bond went beyond the project. A lot of kids don't have grand parents nearby, a lot of parents don't have parents to turn to in an emergency. Yet they still find each other.

Just because you are related to someone by blood doesn't mean that you have a family relationship with them that is fulfilling. The one that you seek is created thought love, giving sharing, being there to help someone out in their hour of need and most importantly accepting it in return.

I think that this is one thing that is often overlooked in what creates a strong family unit, the give and the take. If it's always one sided it breaks down. This is why the Grandparents project was is so successful. That is not to say that you have to give first, sometimes you have to accept a gift of kindness first before you can return the favour.

I'm not saying that you have to join a volunteer group. I gave it as an example to help you see that which you think is impossible is in fact possible and if it is possible one way it's possible though many other ways to. Things like that do manifest in the lives of people for any age. Why not for you?

While a blood relationship looks impossible for you don't give up on the probablity that you will are an important part of a family and it just hasn't manifested yet. It can manifest as soon as you can allow yourself to let it manifest.

Alex

What a warm and thoughtful reply, Alex. Well said.