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#10218 11/25/04 04:37 AM
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Hello!
I dont know where to begin from. Well, I hate myself. Hate myself because I have so many lacks!!! I am scared of life and of people...I have no friends. I go to my job and I come back home. This happens everyday!.
My colleges at work disregard me and pay no attention at me! As if I dont exist. I understand them. Who would want to look at the girl who is so timid and always silent.
I tried to cope with this problem for many times, but is so difficult. Something inside myself wont let me do it. It is like a chain and big burden. I want to drop it...Why is it so difficult!!! Even my boss, who once was so affectionate to me, doesnt see me now . Why do I complain?! I hate complaining!!! But I cant stand it any more..it makes me feel worse. My sister says I am exagerrating,..but is not. I meditated over it but the problem is not solved!!! May be that is because of I just recently started practicing this method, dont know.
Even now writing this letter i am trembling and scared..."Oh my God people may think i so stupid"...Please help me with your advice.
I want to change ,mysef i dotn want to have these lacks this inconfidence...what should i do?






#10219 11/25/04 06:33 AM
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Direct response that comes to my mind is FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. Years ago I was tremling while standing in front of people, speaking with people. But I did it anyway. Then START USING DECLARATIONS/AFFIRMATIONS/INCANTATIONS, for example: I can feel the fear, BUT I WILL DO IT ANYWAY!! Stand tall when you do this, look slightly upwards and image that you are pulled to the air from your chest. This will accelerate your progress. Do this everyday, for example right away when you wake up. Then USE THE PARALIMINALS, for example New History Generator to learn from each day and for changing your perspection of the past. DO IT! And use the AFL program, it will help you create new life. Feeling excercise and Know Your Truth Paraliminal is my most used one's.

[This message has been edited by Eric_G (edited November 25, 2004).]






#10220 11/25/04 07:54 AM
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For a few times I made such attempts but they were so unsuccessful...I tried to make myself speak and behave as other people do but when I said something it was of no use and seemed so stupid and silly that I then regreted. Eric_G, may be this doesnt come instantly and needs some time as I use it.
I think all I say sound stupid and uninteresting. But I think you are right I must do this as often as I can!...and I hope that I will get rid of it. But it is so difficult.






#10221 11/25/04 09:09 AM
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Don't give up. Use the Natural Brilliance model. Release, Notice, Respond and Witness. It's not something you do just once. You need to constantly adjust, making little changes not necessarily the big ones.

Things like Smile and say hi first don't wait for others. Look them in the eye. Start small. When they say something nice about you just say, 'thank you' nothing more, nothing less.

This is the hardest thing to do but stop looking for what is wrong. Sure we need to make adjustments when we notice things are going wrong but we need to be greatful for things that are right.

Find 3 things to be thankful for every morning and every night.

Most of all do the Feeling Exercise. Especially when you think everything is wrong. Do the Inquiry Process, is it really true to is your thinking creating the pain and frustration you are feeling right now?

Whenever you are frustrated by "things", angry hurt or upset you are thinking of some past or future event, you're never really in the now when you suffer like that. The problem with staying stuck in past or future thinking about what is not right for you it creates the future that you will get. What the mind focuses on you get more of. If you manage to really get into the now moment you will find more often than not there is cause for calm, There is room to feel joy, there is the time to think kind thoughts about someone and yourself. And the more you focus on in the now the more you will experience in the future.

So do the Inquiry Process, Do the Feeling Execise and take time to notice that right now in this now moment it is possible to hold a sense of inner calm and joy. Then you keep moving like a bee collecting honey notice the next split second when you have the moment of calm, joy. Looking for and noticing that faint light at the end of the tunnel can lift you out of depression, anger, fear.

Alex







#10222 11/25/04 08:18 PM
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Think about how many times you have beaten your self with words like "I am unsuccessful", "It's so difficult", "everything I say is so stupid", "everything I say is so silly", I should never open my mouth", all I say sounds stupid and uninteresting", etc.... 2 times, 100 times, 10000 times, 1000000 times. Each time you generate these kind of sentences, they become more stronger. So don't expect that you would change right away, but DEDICATE YOUR LIFE, EACH AND EVERYDAY AND EVERY MOMENT for changing your thinking. In order to change your outer world, you must first change your inner world. THEN THE MAGIC HAPPENS! By using the feeling exercise you help your self to LOVE YOUR SELF. When you think negative about your self, INTERRUPT THE PATTERN by doing something silly like pushing your fingers into your nose. Say your self that this thought is TOTAL BULL ****. And that the TRUTH is that I am lovable and wonderful human being. You must first think like this your self AND THEN people will start to LOVE YOU! Meanwhile, people who are familiar for example with the AFL program can help you. Because these special persons can see that you are not your thoughts, you are not your feelings and that you are not your behaviours either. These are just layers that are covering your true self. So eventually; YOU WILL BECOME YOU Or let's say that every time you believe in something positive or negative, you are always right. Because we become what we think, what we focus on... You can CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY! Changing your internal "language", you will change your whole life to much better. You can become a person who is loves her self and others. You can become free form the past limitations of worry and hesitation. Treat your self well, CONCRATULATE YOUR SELF on making the decision to change!







#10223 11/26/04 01:13 AM
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Dinara5.85
This is a 27 pages free eBook which i think will help you. http://www.guaranteedsuccessthinking.com

Good luck
AMS.







#10224 11/26/04 05:08 AM
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Even if I am afraid I should practice it?...and pay no attention at people's reaction what they may think about me?...because I am what I am and these fears are just external layers...Yes I must really think over it. Make self-inquery and stop hating myself because my thooughts of my self are doing what I am now...It is really difficult to cope with the fear. I know I shouldnt say "Difficult" ; I must erase these words!!! and get rid of the thoughts these thoughts and it is not difficult! You cant even imagine how important these advices are!!! So important to me. I really want to change because it is unbearable to live in this prison any more. How much time it will take?...and will this change people's attitude to me?...
and AMS thanks a lot for the book I will read it.






#10225 11/26/04 12:58 PM
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Don't force yourself to erase negative thoughts... that is impossible. Instead do the inquiry on them and turn them around. By accepting the message that you are afraid, that you think it is difficult you can take to opportunity to have a look... is it really that difficult? Instead of using energy to battle hiding these fears and thoughts acknowledge them, embrace the for the message that they have and let them be stepping stones towards your growth.

Alex






#10226 11/27/04 08:57 AM
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This is a good forum, I have seen many helpful posts here.

Dinara5.85,your problem is from the lack of will power and determination. You must undersand that you created your present condition. You may not agree with me, but this is true. Your present condition is created by your past thoughts and feelings. Every thought has its own energetic vibational frequency, and through the law of attraction, it will bring back to you the very thing that matches its frequency. Everything that you are experiencing is attracted by your past thoughts.

The only way to change your current condition is to change your thoughts. You have absolute control about it. You can change it at this very moment. The way to change is to decide to change. It is as simple as that.

You must believe that you have the power within you to create anything you desire in your life. Don't let your current condition to fool you, you are not your condition, you simply created it. It is the effect of your past thinkings. In order to change the effect, you must change the cause, which is your thought. And you can change it instantly by decide to change it NOW, not in the past, not in the future, but in the present moment NOW, because Now is the only moment you can execute your power.

Get rid of any doubt, focus on your desire, through the law of attraction, you will attract the very thing that you are focusing on. The law of attraction works perfectly, just like the law of gravity, it never fails. Trust yourself, and trust the law of attraction, focus on your desire, the universe will take care of all the details.

In short, the only thing you need to do is to constantly focus on your desire, focus on it all the time.

I wish this will help you somehow. All the best to you.

Sincerely
song chengxiang







#10227 11/29/04 04:48 AM
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Today I have made my one this attempts as I read in forum your advices over and over again trying to permeate all the information. In the mornining I said "hi!" to my boss (i tried to do it with more confidence and smiled) and it really worked! Though may be his face only changed a bit but I have noticed it!..I try to behave myself confident and think that the results will be good. If everyhting depend on thoughts I am working on to change them. Replace negative to positive. It is really a scary thing to look into the eyes of my fears and not to banish them away...But you are right this is may be difficult but useful! Thank you very much!!! Thank you!!!!!






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