Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Abundance for Life, Effortless Success Profound question from the Feeling Exercise

I have been reading Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is, to get a more detailed explanation about the Feeling Exercise in AFL, and have been trying to apply the exercise to situations in everyday life.

Of the four questions in the exercise, I have found the fourth question to be the most profound - "Who are you without this story?"

It seems to me, to bring the same state of mind as mentioned in the earlier thread, "Who were you before you were born?"
The silent state of mind which can perceive the situation at hand, free of the trance.

Has anyone else had this experience?

You mean the Inquiry Process from Bryon Katie?

I hear you

I found that I have the gained the deepest insights when I use the work sheet as recommended. Page 17 of the manual has the Work sheet questions and the inquiry questions as well as some of blank work sheets. It surprises me, the wake up call can come with any of the questions. It's not always the same one. Whatever I do the process the a-ha can come from any of the questions. And when doing them on the work sheet I have managed to make the most intense realisations on even the most insignificat topic I've tried it on.

The Feeling Exercise from Arnold Patent, combined with the Inquiry Process is a real eye-opener to the trances we live. Paul did us a great favour introducing these two techniques early in the course. They are the two techniques that one needs to do daily and often.

Alex

Hi Alex,

Thanks for your reply! Yes, I meant the Inquiry Process... I have not worked very much with Arnold Patent's Feeling exercise yet.

The first two questions did not make a very large impact on me initially, since they seem to question the rational, left side of the brain, which just gave a yes or no answer to the question, but did not seem to provide any new insights.

But when I ask the ask the fourth question, and then go backwards to the first three, it seems to "clear the way", as it were for the first three questions.

I still have not completely assimilated the turnaround process, and am trying to get a better grasp of it.

Do you have any tips on how to create an effective turnaround, since there does not seem to be a definite way of creating one?

Cheers

With the first two questions the idea is to consider if it is true. When I started considering them and listening t omyself I realised that a simple yes or no is the black or white thinking that what is preventing me from Loving What Is.

When it comes to creating the turn around one why is to replace the name of the person who you have issues with and say I [name] and finish the statement with what you originally said of them.

You also need to keep trying on the different hats. Keep saying the opposite. Swaping your name or their name or changing the shoulds to should not, doesn't have to to have to, do's to don't for example.

Also try "my thinking" as an addition to the statement.

There is not just one turnaround. So the idea is not to look for one designed right one but to keep turning around the statement and ask yourself for each one is this as true or truer than the original statement. Also look at the suggestions Paul provided in the manual. Try anything that is opposite.

Alex

Inquiring Mind,
I too got lots from the book on using Inquiry process. After reading the book, I checked out her web site.

And my intuition said get the book on tape. My rational mind said way, already read the book. They have audio samples and other helpful stuff there. Well, I did inquiry on it. And I got the tapes. It took me to another level on inquiry because you get lots of live sessions of Katie working with people doing the Inquiring process, especially, the turnarounds. http://www.thework.org/home.html

And Yes Alex I agree, Paul did us a HUGE favor by introducing us to these processes early in his powerful AFL course.

Best,
Richard

Hello
I just wanted to say that I have read the book as well and it helped a great deal.. and I did a lot of inquiring with the worksheets, to the point where I pretty much stopped being upset with people, or expecting people to change or do something differently, it's been a great help in that regard.. and very freeing experience
but now it's my turn, and there is so much impatience, upset or confusion that I have toward myself.. when I plug myself into the work it doesn't seem to produce many results.. in the turnaround part where I plug "my thinking" I guess that's the only turnaround - since it is directed at me from the very beginning, I don't know how to think about it and why I don't feel like it's doing me much good.. ?

You can take the turn around further. Getting stuck on My thinking isn't working consider replacing names
For example, I am angry at my mother because she down't listen. My mother should listen to me...

Can become My mother is angry at me because I don't listen to her...[pause here, ask, could that be true?] I should listen to my mother. [pause again and ask could that be true].. and if it's true is it as true or truer than the original statement.

Alex

Alex - yes, I understand that part, and always I find myself agreeing even more with the turnaround - it is even truer that it's me not listening, not being kind enough, etc.(this part is easy like I said before, I gave up with trying to change others and wish other people were different) so what's next? - now I understand I'm the problem, so I do Inquiry on me: I'm disappointed with myself blah, blah, I hate myself for.. blah. blah - ok, I plug "my thinking" instead Me.. but I don't find it very helpful, not like when I did it on others, I don't get much help, insight, aha- moments from doing it on myself - do you know what I mean? I already know my thinking is the problem, but what follows?

Whendoing the inquiry on self. you need to do the why. Why do you hate yourself.

It might go, 'I hate myself because I don't listen enough.'
Is that true...
I mean is that really always true?
Make sure you really consider all the inquirey questions

Turn arounds to try before my thinking.
'They' hate me because I don't listen enough.
I hate them because I don't listen enough.
I hate them because I do listen enough
They hate me because I do listen enough
I love me be because I do listen enough.
I hate me because my thinking is I don't listen enough.

Don't rush to the answer you "think" is right or you know will be right in the end. Be sure to explore many turn arounds and see if you can answer the question more than one way first. By trying many alternatives you get to see why 'my thinking' is important to consider by looking at what your thining really is.

Alex