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Hi Everyone,

Is there such a person as a soulmate who is the special ordained (by God) mate for another person? Is this concept of soulmate(a predetermined mate) realistic?

There are some schools of thought which say that freedom of choice is the way to go when it comes to a mate. Other people would say put alot of effort into developing yourself first then naturally the best person for you will be attracted to you. Some say date alot and focus on attraction. Some say follow your ordinary routine and your soulmate's path will cross yours. Also one could think, whatever I do, my soulmate and I, will enter each others lives. Some beliefs are seemingly a bit magical, but I don't know if they're unrealistic. Some say the closer you are to God, and the closer your soulmate is to God the closer you'll be to each other.

How do you know when you've found the right person? Should you just think I'm not looking for love and wait magically for the right one to arrive? Why do people say that way works? I suppose if we took all the magicalness out of it all together then it would be dry? Does the mind create magicalness in relationships and that it has nothing to do with a higher being "blessing" us? Can we purposefully attract our soulmate? Is it something we can by choice effect the result of? Isn't it so that when he/she will arrive they will arrive and not before? How does higher purpose work in with tools like the relationships paraliminal? How much control should we give ourselves in this area?

Please can somebody can give me a little bit of good perspective on this, so I can see how this soulmate stuff works realistically.

Thanks.
g.

[This message has been edited by Grant (edited December 22, 2001).]

From my exprience if you have a very close relationship with God, and your mate has a very close relationship with God, then your relationship with each other will be a lot better.

Hope this helps out a bit.

- P

Hi again,

Thanks for that bit.

Sorry, I better get to the point, sorry for bombarding you with so many questions.

What I want to know is, is the idea that God prepares a special someone for you, realistic, in other words it's not up to you or the powers of attraction say through using the Prosperity Paraliminal, or Relationships Paraliminal, but it's up to God, is that realistic, it's kind of like Determinism.

I know for a fact that some people sincerely believe they have a special connection with one person in there lives that they think is ordained by God. Is that realistic?

Do you think God would cause our relationship to fail if it wasn't with His chosen mate for you? What about free choice?

The school of Free Will puts too much responsibility on me and the school of Determinism takes away my power!!

How does one work out how to function (attract a mate) between the push and pull of these two seemingly opposing forces?

Are they opposites? Can they work together?
How am I supposed to know how my actions and those of God work together. Take for example I want a pineapple but an apple is put right in my way, I can't seem to get a pineapple because seemingly God wants an apple for me, but I don't like apples.

Should I work towards liking an apple more or should I do whatevers in my power to get the pineapple I believe I want? With the feelings that God may not bless my relationship with a pineapple.

Names are replaced with names of fruit to avoid conflict - I'm half-joking.

g.

[This message has been edited by Grant (edited December 24, 2001).]

Great question! I grapple with that one myself. Don't know the answer, but here is one idea...

Assume we manifest our experiences according to all of our beliefs (the ones we really have, consciously and subconsciously).

Therefore, it may be possible to manifest many different relationship "truths." Each experience will seem absolutely true for the person having it. The person who believes that God chooses your best relationship, and who has no conflicting beliefs about self to interfere, will have an experience of God choosing their right mate. The person who believes that they are completely self-determining will experience that. Maybe "God" lets us have any experience we want (believe in). The person who has a combination of beliefs gets a mish-mash of experiences. We decide. Of course, in a relationship the other person decides too.

On the other hand...
perhaps we have a "higher self" who has made some decisions about what it wants to experience in life. We are the vehicle for that experience. Therefore, at any time, our higher self may arrange for a "wild card" experience to enter our lives (something our beliefs did not manifest, but something totally new), or may block certain things from happening. It certainly seems that way to me sometimes.

You can try to create what you want and let the chips fall where they may. If you do not create, you stagnate. If you move forward and create (choose) something, whether it gives you pleasure or pain, you will always learn a lot (about your REAL beliefs) and will be able to cross what you don't want off your list the next time. Refusing to choose is a way to try to avoid "mistakes" and the scary responsibility of free choice (no one to blame, no absolute wrong or right choice). Perhaps you can't mess up or choose wrongly. You can only choose, and then enjoy or not enjoy the experiences that follow. Does it really matter?? We are the creators, not our circumstances or experiences.

Other ideas or experiences??

Check the below site it might be of some help:
http://www.astralvoyage.com/soul_mates.html

John

I feel that their are "soul potentials" instead of soul mates. I feel that the concept of soul mates can be limiting. Could see it possibly puting some folks in a state of waiting instead of actually being at peace with themselves and living life fully. I've discovered that life is the harmonious blend of predetermined rhythm in your body, spirit and in the nature of the infinite universe, the choice to surrender to that rhythm or not, and the additional choice of once being one with that rhythm guiding it in any direction to be and do anything.
So really a soul potential is someone yes that is a blessing from God/Universe. Yet not necessarily a blessing that needs extraneous effort to recieve, its an automatic phenomenon that comes with being at one with yourself and the universe. The interconnection of your true self(the witness of your body) and your true self's inherent connection to God brings all the love, security and peace already there. With that connection being allowed between two surrendered individuals there is boundless depth for spontaneous love. May sound like fluffy but its far from it, its practical and yes you run into many soul potentials when your at natural and one, being-your self. The universe and life is complex like that, not black and white, yet the truest most natural way to approach it all is ultmately effortless, with the act of allowing and having a kind subtracting pure awareness from the inside out.

Pretend that there is no soul.
Pretend that there is no "right" or "wrong" person. And if there were, by which metrics would you measure them?

If you live in the universe where there is no soul and no right or wrong person in a metaphysical sense, then you are left to your own devices and get to make your own choices. Life becomes an experiment and you get to learn.

You don't have to live up to being Mr. or Mrs. Perfect for so-and-so, and you don't torture anyone else by expecting the same for them.

I believe it gets to a point where you either decide you want to spend your life with someone or not. And, of course, there are other choices for the iconoclastic.

According to some, we are not biologically geared towards mating for life. It seems that a close nit group of lovers with whom you maintain relationships while, perhaps, every so often induling in the brief affair outside of these would be ideal. You all support and love each other and give each other the freedom to be who you are and choose as you wish.

That, for me, would be an ideal ... it sure beats affairs and deception, which is the reality for a lot of people.

There are people who mesh very very well, and that's great. But most of the time, I think, people get drunk on their own biochemistry and think things that just aren't true about themselves and others.

Basically, you become intoxicated with someone for around a year or two, then the effect wears off. Hopefully, you realize after that time that you are happily addicted to the other person and spend time enjoying them rather than seeking that initial rush that courtship gives.

Feeling you have to find a soul mate just puts a horribly unnecessary pressure on you and can end up really screwing things up. It also can freak out another person and put unwanted pressure on them.

You might miss out on really fun relationships if all you go for is Mr. or Mrs. Right.

There may be no Mr. or Mrs. Right, only people with varying amounts of chemistry with you.

I agree with a good part of what Babayada says although I would add that maybe looking for that Mythical Soulmate is a very undefined thing.

If you look into society for successful couples and maybe use them as your role model.

I believe that you are looking for a Successful Partnership with someone. The initial attraction is having love and sex with, but it is a long haul committment and you don't spend it all in the bedroom. In fact, unless you really make an effort, love and sex tends to go by the way side.

If you have a good partner you always have a common respect for each other and happiness is in your home.

They say if you have a great relationship, just to hold your partners hand is as good as sex or far better.

If you look for a Partner that you can build a successful relationship with you are off to a good start.

Jeff

Thank you BartonSprings for recalling and replying to my post as well as Gail and Zeus who I should have thanked much earlier and Babayada as well as Jeffdengr, thank you. You have all given me a much more integrated approach rather than the black and white view I had previously.

When you guys put all these ideas in front of me, amazed, I thought, hold on these are ALL true. The problem comes when you see a black or white point of view, as BartonSprings' mentioned, and oscillate like crazy between two opposing ideas, creating unnecessary pressure in relationships and screwing things up because you have to have things work in a certain way, like thinking there is a Mrs. Right like Babayada mentioned. As Babayada said seeing that a person is the wrong person or right person can really narrow life's experience to boring, making life far less fun and less of an explorative learning experience.

I love BartonSprings' idea of "soul potentials" a wonderfully realistic blend of soul and practicality. Even though sometimes we just have to pretend (although not forget completely) that we don't have a soul (also a very wise idea Babayada) and get on with the practical side of living to the full where we are in life right now.

For along time, BartonSprings', I have been rattled with the idea why I was experiencing a possibility that there are more than one possible soul potentials for every person. I was frustrated with the idea because I felt God had one plan for my life and that's it. I now feel that God has many, many possible paths for a person to follow, allowing free choice, and a wonderful melding of His plans with ours. BartonSprings' you have healed my agony at a very sychronistic time in my life. The timing of your synchronicity of your recall of this post is impeccable. I had almost clicked cognitively about this, but you have given me a well needed nudge. Thanks. I now feel that I am much more in the flow of things than I did before.

I feel that our biochemistry is a wonderful thing to get drunk on, Babayada, and it could also be working as part of God's plan(as something that has its place), as research has said that we get a chemical jolt when a person matches our unique lovemap, that we created as a child. Of course many things can go horribly wrong with our lovemaps and we then get into wrong relationships, so our chemistry is not in this way and many other ways a faultless guide as you have said.

I feel that the initial infatuation that you mentioned Jeffdengr and Babayada is a needed jolt to give a relationship a good headstart, hopefully by the time it ends you have developed other meldings for the long haul, as you both said. I love Richard Bandler's Passion Enhancer CD session, "...that each time I hear my wife's voice or see her face, I would fall twice as much in love with her...", "...if you can remember how your car starts, and you can remember how to brush your teeth...you can remember how to increase your passion...". That CD is a wonderful cure for feelings of infatuation and passion lost in youth.

Thanks to Crazy08, Gail and Zeus also for their contributions.

I really loved all your posts. Some with seemingly opposing truths, but really again they are all truths that make a whole.

[This message has been edited by Grant (edited October 09, 2005).]

Just because someone believes something doesn't mean it's true, nor is their sincerity relevant.